Soccer Page 233 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Didier Drogba Scores Great Goal Against Scrubbiest Scrubs Imaginable
Technically, this is still a highlight because it’s Didier Drogba scoring an absolute scorcher of a free kick from way far out that probably would’ve flown into the net had he been back in a Chelsea shirt facing like Jordan Pickford or something. However, it’s also kind of a lowlight because it’s Di...

Christian Pulisic Starts His Season Off By Embarrassing Bayern Munich
America’s Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, scored the opener of the German Super Cup for Dortmund against Bayern today, dispossessing a concerningly louche Javi Martinez and easily finishing....

Robbie Keane Goes To The Indian Super League
Atlético de Kolkata of the Indian Super League just signed the newest ISL player that soccer fans have actually heard of—Robbie Keane, the 37-year-old Irish striker most famous for his long-term stints at Tottenham Hotspur and the LA Galaxy, as well as his decade as captain of the Republic of Irelan...

Is MLS A Ponzi Scheme?
If like any red-blooded American capitalist you measure success by growth, these are boom times for Major League Soccer. North America’s top soccer league has gone from just 10 teams in 2004 to a whopping 22, with two more clubs in Los Angeles and Miami set to come online in the couple of seasons. A...

NeyWatch: Neymar Has Officially Signed With Paris Saint-Germain
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

NeyWatch: Somehow, This Has Gotten Even More Ludicrous
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

FC Cincinnati Continue Their Thrilling, Surprising U.S. Open Cup Run
Tonight’s most compelling American soccer match was a little tricky to find, but it was well worth your investment. In the quarterfinals of the U.S. Open Cup—which pits teams at all levels of American soccer against each other in a single-elimination format—FC Cincinnati beat the Miami 1-0 off a Bay...

NeyWatch: No More Neymar For Barcelona
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

Of Course Daniel Sturridge Hurt Himself Scoring
Daniel Sturridge is generally very good when he’s healthy, but unfortunately, he’s almost never healthy. The annual Sturridge injury came again Tuesday during a friendly, right when the English striker should have been celebrating....

NeyWatch: Barcelona's Players Reportedly Sick And Tired Of The Neymar Bullshit
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

Freddy Adu Gets Owned By His Potential New Boss
Freddy Adu’s long and winding tour through the obscure leagues of Europe has now taken him to Poland, where newcomers to the Ekstraklasa, Sandecja Nowy Sącz, are potentially about to sign him following a medical....

Adorable Little Doggie Mascots Are The Best Mascots
Usually soccer teams come out onto the pitch accompanied by little kids, which is cute and all, I guess. As precious as star-struck children can be, though, they don’t compare to these sweet adoptable pups Chilean team Colo-Colo came out with this weekend:...

Striker Bails Out Goalkeeper's Fuck-Up With Even Bigger Fuck-Up
Most of the European soccer leagues haven’t even started yet and we already have an early contender for worst miss of the season. Take a bow, Valentin Costache of Dinamo Bucuresti, for this truly is an impressive feat of ineptitude....

Sunderland's Darron Gibson Shits On Teammates In Drunken Bar Rant
Recently relegated Sunderland got their asses handed to them in a friendly against Celtic on Saturday, losing by a score of 5-0. After the match, some Sunderland fans happened upon Darron Gibson at a bar. Confronted by the fans’ frustrations, the Northern Irish midfielder is caught on video going on...

Chelsea Help Out An Old Friend, Send Nemanja Matić To Manchester United
One of the reasons why the Premier League has been so evenly matched in the past few years is that rarely will the biggest teams move their stars anywhere but out of England. If a club has a top-tier player who wants to split town or needs to make the next step up, they’ll try their hardest to ship ...

NeyWatch: This Shit Is About To Be Over Real Quick
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

Inter Milan Spot Chelsea An Astounding 50-Yard Own Goal, Win Anyway
Here is one hell of an own goal, from Geoffrey Kondogbia of Inter Milan:...

Scottish Soccer Team Launches Investigation To Find Horny Twitter User
Fans often go to the Twitter accounts of soccer teams to watch video of someone scoring. That’s nothing surprising. But when followers of Scottish Premiership club Inverness Caledonian Thistle looked at the team Twitter account’s list of favorited tweets, they saw an entirely different sort of scori...

NeyWatch: Oh Shit, Neymar Tried To Fight A Teammate
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....

Don't Panic, The USWNT's Struggles Might Be A Good Thing
Tameka Butt capitalized on a Becky Sauerbrunn mistake to score the only goal of Australia’s first-ever win against the USWNT in 27 tries. Her 67th-minute score last night in Seattle, after what announcer Ian Darke referred to as “dithering defending,” gave her side (ranked seventh by FIFA) a histori...