Soccer Page 240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Will Everton Actually Get From Gylfi Sigurdsson?
After weeks and weeks of speculation, rumors, and false starts, it looks like Everton are finally getting their man. According to the BBC, the Toffees have agreed to a £45 million fee for Swansea midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson. So now what?...
Reporter Accidentally Gets Jürgen Klopp To Talk About Losing His Virginity
Liverpool are currently playing the first leg of a Champions League playoff round, and things got unexpectedly sexy during manager Jürgen Klopp’s pregame press conference....
The Good Little Teams (And Chelsea): Our 2017-18 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
As everyone knows, the best thing about the Premier League is its absurd depth. In England you have an entire country where practically every single town worships their local club with an intensity that makes Nebraska’s passion for Cornhusker football look like Nebraska’s passion for Cornhusker socc...
Diego Costa Is Hanging Out At Home And Talking Shit About Chelsea
The highlight of the first full weekend of hot Premier League action was not Manchester United flushing West Ham down the toilet, Wayne Rooney rescuing Everton, nor American ex-pat community Huddersfield Town winning their debut Premier League match 3-0. No, it was Antonio Conte’s Chelsea side eatin...
The Fun As Hell Teams: Our 2017-18 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
My colleague Patrick Redford already laid out which Premier League clubs to watch when you’re trying to take a nap; so unless you enjoy soccer’s equivalent of eating your way through a tub of raw broccoli, steer clear of those guys (except Everton) and allow me to tell which clubs are going to be fu...
Philippe Coutinho Stars In The Hit New Transfer Soap Opera Of The Summer
We all laughed and cried together at every unpredictable twist during the summer’s preeminent melodrama known as NeyWatch, and we were sad to see it end. Luckily for us, that saga was such a hit that it has led to a spin-off series starring a couple of the same characters—namely Barcelona and Philip...
Soccer Team Scores Before It Touches The Ball
It is Friday, my dudes, and it couldn’t have come soon enough. Maybe you’ve spent all week like Paide in the Estonian Cup clip up above, kicking around in your own end, measuring your options, looking to push forward but mostly dithering back and forth, eventually torpedoing your own cause and wond...
What The Heck Is Going On At Tottenham Hotspur?
On Thursday, just three days before Tottenham Hotspur’s Premier League season opener and three weeks before the summer transfer window closes, the worst newspaper in England published a shocking interview with Tottenham’s 27-year-old star left back Danny Rose, horrifying Spurs supporters the world o...
England's Worst, Most Snooze-Worthy Teams: Our 2017-18 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
Some watch the Premier League for the artistry and high-level play that only megastars like Alexis Sánchez and Eden Hazard can provide. Others watch for the drama of stressed-out, egomaniacal coaches yelling at everyone—at each other, at the referees, at God, at the sport itself, at their players, a...
MLS's Anti-Ambition Disease Is Now Infecting Mexicans
Back when MLS was primarily a retirement league where the geriatric greats of the good leagues in Europe could count on a fat check to jog circles around a collection of useless American never-wills until they got too bored and formally retired, the league was a sorry spectacle, to be sure, but most...
Please Stop Sending Marouane Fellaini This Photo Of Him Getting Hit In The Face By A Ball
Because of a perfectly placed ball to Manchester United’s Marouane Fellaini and some impeccable timing by AP photographer Boris Grdanoski at the UEFA Super Cup, the world has been blessed with this holy image of the beautiful game....
Is Gareth Bale Even Worth It?
Gareth Bale, once the assumed heir to Cristiano Ronaldo’s throne at Real Madrid, is now at risk of becoming an afterthought. Acquired from Tottenham in 2013 for a then-record transfer fee, Bale has only topped 30 La Liga appearances once in four seasons for Real Madrid. True, he has been as good as ...
Gerard Deulofeu Might Be The Luckiest Bastard Alive
Yesterday, Barcelona played tragedy-stricken Brazilian club Chapecoense (you may remember them as the team involved in that awful plane crash last winter) in the Joan Gamper Trophy match. This match, hosted annually at Barcelona’s Camp Nou, is a friendly and thus doesn’t mean all that much in the gr...
Slaving, Terrorism-Supporting Country's Wildly Expensive PR Campaign Is Far From Over
Qatar is a tiny, obscenely wealthy country/U.S. military base in the Persian Gulf that has, justifiably so, become synonymous of late with dynastic oligarchism, shameless venality, modern-day slavery, and financial support for Islamist terrorism. This, it probably goes without saying, isn’t quite t...
Didier Drogba Scores Great Goal Against Scrubbiest Scrubs Imaginable
Technically, this is still a highlight because it’s Didier Drogba scoring an absolute scorcher of a free kick from way far out that probably would’ve flown into the net had he been back in a Chelsea shirt facing like Jordan Pickford or something. However, it’s also kind of a lowlight because it’s Di...
Christian Pulisic Starts His Season Off By Embarrassing Bayern Munich
America’s Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, scored the opener of the German Super Cup for Dortmund against Bayern today, dispossessing a concerningly louche Javi Martinez and easily finishing....
Robbie Keane Goes To The Indian Super League
Atlético de Kolkata of the Indian Super League just signed the newest ISL player that soccer fans have actually heard of—Robbie Keane, the 37-year-old Irish striker most famous for his long-term stints at Tottenham Hotspur and the LA Galaxy, as well as his decade as captain of the Republic of Irelan...
Is MLS A Ponzi Scheme?
If like any red-blooded American capitalist you measure success by growth, these are boom times for Major League Soccer. North America’s top soccer league has gone from just 10 teams in 2004 to a whopping 22, with two more clubs in Los Angeles and Miami set to come online in the couple of seasons. A...
NeyWatch: Neymar Has Officially Signed With Paris Saint-Germain
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
NeyWatch: Somehow, This Has Gotten Even More Ludicrous
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....