Soccer Page 239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
David De Gea Is Proof That Goalkeepers Should Embrace The Kick Save
You can not read the book on goalkeeping because the book does not exist, and that is for the better. A book might be helpful for outlining fundamentals and common techniques, but it might also be an anchor drowning effectiveness in a pool of orthodoxy, a dagger sacrificing creative problem-solving...
Tearful Neymar Asks An Indifferent God For Better Bones
After breaking the fifth metatarsal in his right foot for the second consecutive year, Neymar would be well within his rights to retreat into the rich person’s equivalent of a dark bedroom with the curtains drawn—so, I don’t know, Dubai?...
José Mourinho Eats Shit At Russian Hockey Game
Unemployed soccer manager José Mourinho is currently in Russia for some reason, and decided to take in a KHL game today. While performing the pre-game ceremonial puck drop, Mourinho managed to do in his first appearance on ice what it usually takes him three seasons to do when coaching a soccer team...
Inter Ultras: We Would Have Directed Racist Chants At Koulibaly Even If He Wasn't Black<em></em>
Following a two-match stadium ban for racist chants towards Napoli defender Kalidou Koulibaly, the Inter ultras Curva Nord were allowed back into San Siro for their club’s match against Bologna. Along the supporters’ return came a strongly-worded statement in a fanzine distributed before the match. ...
Black Cat Interrupts Everton Game, Much To The Delight Of Suffering Home Supporters
Despite their team being down 3-1 to Wolverhampton Wanderers on Saturday, the Everton supporters at Goodison Park finally had something to cheer about in the 67th minute of the match as a black cat had invaded the pitch. Play had to be stopped for about five minutes as players waited for the cat to ...
Arda Turan Faces Up To 12 Years In Prison For Allegedly Trying To Steal A Pop Star's Girl, Getting Into A Fight, And Firing A Gun In A Hospital
Arda Turan, previously seen on pristine European pitches starring for Atletico Madrid and then sucking for Barcelona, might be headed to a decade-long stay in Turkish prison, per a Marca report. As a result of an October nightclub altercation in Istanbul that turned into so much more, Turan is begin...
Lionel Messi's Tap-In Completes The Platonic Ideal Of A Barcelona Goal
If you were to diagram out the most quintessentially Barcelona goal imaginable, you could do a lot worse than this tie-killing, overly intricate, senselessly gorgeous combination between about half the Barça team that saw Lionel Messi teed up to blast the ball into the net from point-blank range....
Tottenham Are A Fairy Tale In Search Of A Happy Ending
When will Spurs quit messing around and finally win something? That is the question flying around North London like an arrow aimed at Mauricio Pochettino and Tottenham’s upper-management this week after the club fell out of both domestic cup competitions, succumbing to the injury crisis even the mos...
Once Again, Neymar Might Be Fucked
For Neymar, the events of the past week must feel like an especially haunting instance of déjà vu. Once again, the Paris Saint-Germain superstar came up lame in the middle of a match after a not especially horrific clash. Once again, further tests revealed the injury to be worse than it first seemed...
Bad Soccer Manager Suspended Five Months For Headbutting The Everloving Shit Out Of Opposing Coach<em></em>
Giancarlo Favarin manages Italian third-tier club Lucchese. During a match against Alessandria on Sunday, he found himself in a spat with an assistant coach on the opposing side. In an effort to settle the dispute, Favarin rammed his massive, shiny forehead straight through the assistant’s nose:...
What Does Miguel Almirón’s Record Transfer Mean For The MLS?
You see what you want to see when you look at Miguel Almirón’s reported MLS-record $27 million transfer to the Premier League’s Newcastle United....
Qatar Beat The Hell Out Of UAE And Then Got A Bunch Of Shoes Thrown At Them
The UAE had big hopes this winter. The tiny Middle Eastern nation is hosting this month’s Asian Cup, and national team appeared to be on the brink of something special when they qualified for the semifinals against their hated rivals, Qatar. Then Qatar beat the shit out of them so badly today that t...
At Least Real Madrid's Lost Season Has Given Us The Rise Of Vinícius
At just 18 years old, in his first season in Europe, Brazilian forward Vinícius Júnior has already carved out a significant role for himself in Real Madrid’s squad. His emergence as a valuable and now arguably a critical component of one of the best teams in the world happened way faster than anyone...
Notts County Owner Accidentally Tweets Dong Shot, Announces Intent To Sell Team, Says The Two Are Unrelated
Before this weekend, English businessman Alan Hardy owned both Notts County, a fourth-tier English soccer club, and a penis the vast majority of the world had never seen. After his accidentally revealing tweet on Sunday, both of those facts will need to be revised....
Sheffield United's Billy Sharp Celebrates Goal With Mr. Socko
Despite the best efforts of Norwich keeper Tim Krul to disrupt Billy Sharp’s focus before his penalty kick, the Sheffield United striker scored from the spot to give his time a 1-0 lead to end the first half of play. Sharp, one of the most prolific scorers at the senior English league level, ran ove...
Sevilla Fail To Score On Counter-Attack Despite Six-On-One Advantage
In the 65th minute Sevilla’s La Liga match against Levante, the home squad appeared to have an all-but-guaranteed goal. Sevilla took the botched corner kick from their opponents and immediately started on the break towards their goal. Pablo Sarabia, who began the counter, made a quick pass to Wissam...
Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar
About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he...
The NWSL's Worst Club Is Losing Top Draft Picks Because Of Garbage Management
Last season, the NWSL’s Sky Blue FC limped its way to a 1-17-6 record, landing at the bottom of the league table with a whopping -31 goal difference. Despite having USWNT star Carli Lloyd, the 2018 Sky Blue season was the worst in league history: nine total points, “beating” the previous record of 1...
Barcelona Signed Frenkie De Jong And Now Must Figure Out Who They Want Him To Be
It is glaringly obvious that Dutch midfielder Frenkie de Jong is one of the most exciting prospects in world soccer today. While I and most others writing about him now, after the hotly contested courtship that involved pretty much all the game’s biggest clubs finally came to a close when Barcelona ...