Soccer Page 271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Tragic Displays of Athletic Competition on the <i>Bachelor </i>Franchise
The Bachelor franchise is successful because viewers experience a light but undeniable catharsis from watching other people humiliate themselves. ...
Rayo OKC's New 'Kit' Is Altruistic as Hell
The Rayos are the wokest set of sibling teams in the world. ...
USWNT Stars File Federal Discrimination Complaint Against U.S. Soccer, Seek Equal Pay
Five prominent members of the U.S. Women’s National Team have filed a wage discrimination complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, alleging that governing body U.S. Soccer has illegally and unfairly paid women’s players less than their counterparts on the USMNT, despite the women’...
The USMNT Are Who We Thought They Were
The United States Men’s National Team beat the pants off of Guatemala 4-0 tonight, avoiding the disaster scenario and setting themselves up to advance to the final round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying. But while the victory was comprehensive, there were plenty of worrying signs for the USMNT’s fut...
The USMNT Better Goddamn Beat Guatemala
The United States Men’s National Team is in danger of failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. If it happened, it would be the first time the USMNT missed the world’s greatest sporting event since Mexico in 1986. If they lose to Guatemala Tuesday night, they’ll need an awful lot of help from Saint...
Arda Turan Matter-Of-Factly Burns Arsenal
After sitting out the first half of the season because of Barcelona’s transfer ban, Arda Turan is finally settling in at the Camp Nou. He spoke with Catalan paper Diari Ara recently for a wide-ranging interview, touching upon everything from his Barcelona experience to the current political situatio...
I Want Some Of Those Sweet FIFA Bribes
It seems like everyone in FIFA’s orbit gets a bribe. Just today, it was revealed that the former president of Honduras took bribes while working for FIFA’s television and marketing committee, whatever the hell that is. There’s bribe money everywhere! And you know who is getting none of it? Me....
A First-Person View Of A Cristiano Ronaldo Penalty Kick To The Face
Sarah Arcand had damned good seats for last week’s Real Madrid 4-0 win over Sevilla. A little too good. When Ronaldo sailed a penalty kick high, she managed to get her camera out of the way, but not her face....
Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...
Burkina Faso’s National Team Is Playing For Liberty (And Money)
Burkina Faso hosts Uganda tomorrow at Ouagadougou’s Stade du 4 Août 1983, with qualification for the 2017 Africa Cup of Nations on the line. For members and staff of Les Étalons, though, the match represents more than just the next step in the march toward Gabon....
Aleksandar Mitrovic Celebrates With Idiot On The Field After Scoring A Late Equalizer
Newcastle tied up Sunderland late to secure a 1-1 draw. Aleksandar Mitrovic scored the equalizer, and was understandably pumped since it came in the 83rd minute against a rival. Mitrovic ran away from all his buddies to celebrate with this jeans-wearing Geordie....
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Juve's Loss Ensures England Holds Onto Its Fourth Champions League Spot, For Now
Bayern Munich’s impressive comeback victory against Juventus today had a farther-reaching effect than just sending Bayern into the Champions League quarterfinals: it ensured that England will hold onto its four Champions League spots for at least another year....
FIFA Admits World Cup Bribes, Wants That Money Back From The U.S.
You can say many things about FIFA, but you can never say it doesn’t really like money, or that it doesn’t have enormous fucking balls....
Runaway Bull Makes For Very Intimidating Pitch Invader
This rambunctious bovine wanted to join some Australian youths in their soccer game after escaping his nearby paddock. Unfortunately, the kids were very rude and refused to pass him the ball, so he had to retreat back to the forest. ...
Nobody Could Get Into The NYCFC Game At Yankee Stadium Because Of The Yankees' Stupid Ticket Policies
Hey remember how the Yankees changed their ticket policies to no longer accept print-at-home tickets? NYCFC, who also play in Yankee Stadium for some reason, announced Friday that they were planning to stop taking paper tickets too. They have a game today, two days later. In their release, the team ...
The Maddening Futility Of Arsenal, In One Play
Arsenal crashed out of their specialty competition (the FA Cup) this morning after a 2-1 loss to Watford. Since they probably aren’t gonna beat Barcelona by the two goals they need to to take their Champions League tie, and the EPL looks like a more distant prospect every week, the FA Cup was their ...
Let's Watch Some Diego Maradona Highlights For No Good Reason
The other day I went down a YouTube rabbithole trying to find a song to pair with a video to make a meme (don’t ask), and ended up watching Diego Maradona highlights for an hour. I know all about la mano de Dios, his absolute filleting of England during the 1986 World Cup, and of course the absurdit...
The Skeptics' MLS Season Preview
There are plenty of reasons not to watch MLS. The soccer’s kinda boring, there’s a healthy dose of Soviet-ish central planning to the whole operation, and the league’s marketing is extremely “How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?” If you’re hoping for EPL quality or at least Argentine Second Division quality,...
The North London Derby Was Great For Leicester City
After losing Francis Coquelin to a red card and down 2-1, Arsenal looked more fraught than they’d ever been during their long, slow settling from Premier League favorites to title outsiders. Three weeks ago, they were two points behind Leicester, with ambitions to upset Barcelona in the Champions Le...