Soccer Page 276 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Venezuelan Soccer Teen Scores Last-Minute Game Winner From The Center Circle
Venezuelan youth international and Florida State student Deyna Castellanos is really good at kicking the ball. She proved as much during an U-17 World Cup match against Cameroon, when she scored a game-winner deep into stoppage time, immediately off of the kick-off following Cameroon’s equalizer:...
Tiny Soccer Child Already Good Enough To Play Against Big Soccer Boys
I want you to look at this picture of 13-year-old Ivorian-Scot baby, Karamoko Dembélé, as he sits taking in a Celtic U-20 game:...
I Can't Stop Watching Luisão Completely Disrupt This Wall<em></em><em></em>
Top of the table Benfica routed Feirense 4-0 yesterday, with the final goal coming on a stoppage time free kick by Alejandro Grimaldo. As shown on TV, there was some pre-free kick shenanigans, but nothing too special....
Bob Bradley Named Swansea City's New Manager
Bob Bradley has been appointed Swansea City’s manager, becoming the first American to helm a Premier League club. He replaces Francesco Guidolin....
Harry Redknapp Wonders "Who Gives A Shit?" About His Players Betting On Matches<em></em><em></em>
The Telegraph continues publishing the results of their investigation into corruption in soccer—which has already resulted in England manager Sam Allardyce losing his job—this time taking a detour into gambling. ...
UEFA Fines Celtic Over Fans Flying The Palestinian Flag
A large group of Celtic fans waved Palestinian flags before a Champions League preliminary game against Israeli club Hapoel Be’er Shevae last month. This morning, UEFA announced that they would be fining the club €10,000 for the protest because it violated a UEFA rule regarding the use of political ...
Liverpool Are Finally Back
Liverpool haven’t won the league title since before the Premier League even existed, and for the last seven years or so they’ve barely even competed for the top four. The club was one day away from bankruptcy before being saved, a Steven Gerrard slip from winning the title, had one of the five best ...
Mario Balotelli Watches His Goal From His Butt<em></em>
Rejoice, soccer lovers, for the joy of Mario Balotelli scoring goals is once again a regular part of our lives. The on-fire Nice forward added another one today in the Europa League, cracking this ball with a little jump-slide shot and admiring it as it flies into the net from his backside:...
Aleksandar Mitrović Damn Near Kills Teammate In A Fit Of Ecstasy
Newcastle fought back from a 3-2 deficit against Norwich yesterday with two stoppage time goals to snatch a 4-3 win. Obviously, this had everyone super fuckin’ amped. None more so than Aleksandar Mitrović, who was so caught up in the moment that he almost snapped the winning goalscorer’s neck in cel...
Fernando Torres Does A Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must’ve felt some kind of way about Edinson Cavani threatening to usurp El Niño’s hard-earned title as The World’s Foremost Sitter-Misser, so he went and did this:...
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
Is Gerardo Martino The USMNT Coach-In-Waiting?
Gerardo “Tata” Martino, the Argentine coach coming off a run managing at the very pinnacle of his profession with stints at the helms of Barcelona and Argentina, has officially signed on with MLS expansion team, Atlanta United FC. This is a weird one....
England Manager Sam Allardyce Loses Job After Just One Game In Charge
England manager Sam Allardyce and the FA have “mutually agreed to terminate his contract,” one day after The Telegraph published the results of a hidden-camera investigation in which Allardyce advises “businessmen” on how to get around third-party ownership rules. It isn’t a particularly damning inv...
England Manager Sam Allardyce Reportedly Caught Telling Businessmen How To Cheat FA Rules
Last year, FIFA outlawed the practice of third-party ownership of players, which is essentially a way for businesses to hold a stake in a soccer player and collect a cut of their transfer fees. It comes with a minefield of conflicts of interests and can help explain why certain elite players get squ...
Arsenal Looked Like The Best Team In England This Weekend, But They'll Fuck It Up Somehow
Meet “Troopz,” aka The Arsenal Trooper, aka (as his Twitter bio puts it) “Mr Blud/Fam,” aka the loudest, demandingest, angriest, most exuberant, all-around best Arsenal fan. He is, for once, very happy with his station in life as a Gunner today. He has good reason to be....
Michael Essien's 30th Birthday Party Was Just The Saddest<em></em>
Remember those early 2010s Jose Mourinho-led Real Madrid squads, who seemed to fight with everybody—opponents, Barcelona, referees, Barcelona, La Liga, Barcelona, teammates, and Barcelona? ...
Known Man-Eating Fish Strikes England, Devours Goalkeeping Coach On Pitch
A tragedy was narrowly avoided this weekend when a gigantic, basketball jersey-clad fish, presumably hired as the halftime entertainment for the day’s Derby County-Blackburn match, attacked a poor goalkeeping coach in the middle of its act. Luckily, the man was not seriously harmed....
FIFA Shutters Anti-Racism Task Force, Because There's No More Racism In Soccer
FIFA has chosen to dissolve its anti-racism task force. According to the Associated Press, the organization believes that the committee has “completely fulfilled its temporary mission.”...
Premier League Player Suspended Four Games For Homophobic Tweets From Four Years Ago
The F.A. has concluded its investigation into controversial tweets made by Burnley striker Andre Gray in 2012, and has imposed upon him a four-match suspension. The tweets in question ranged from sexist to homophobic, with the most inflammatory including his apparent wish that gays would “burn” and ...
Landon Donovan And I Would Like To Announce Our Availability For The USMNT
In some ways, Landon Donovan and I are very different people. He is an internationally famous and widely beloved MLS legend who just recently decided to unretire from the sport he was born to play and rejoin the L.A. Galaxy. I am a largely anonymous yet widely loathed MLS hater who never played prof...