Soccer Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Borussia Dortmund Player Scores Goal, Dons Spider-Man Mask
Borussia Dortmund beat Bayern Munich 2-0 in the DFL Supercup today, thanks in large part to a spectacular header from Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the 61st minute. After he scored, Aubameyang yanked a Spider-Man mask out of his sock and put it on his head because, sure, why the hell not?...

Diego Maradona Slaps Fool-Ass Reporter For Winking At His Ex-Wife
Diego Maradona is and always will be the GOAT, mostly because he's the type of dude who, at the age of 53, will calmly exit his car, wade into a throng of reporters, find the one who may or may not have winked at his wife, and slap that dingus right in his face....

It's Over Before It Started: What You Need To Know About France Ligue 1
France's Ligue 1 kicks off today, and outside of watching Zlatan Ibrahimović and Paris Saint-Germain make fools of their opponents week after week en route to a third league championship in three years, you may be thinking "What's the point?"...

Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer
Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny....


Reports: Landon Donovan Will Retire At The End Of The MLS Season
Multiple outlets are reporting today that Landon Donovan will retire from soccer at the end of the MLS season. This is sad news that we all saw coming from the moment his name was left off the USMNT's World Cup roster....

Pep Guardiola Refuses To Shake Hands With MLS Team After All-Star Game
Upset with a pair of hard challenges from Osvaldo Alonso and Will Johnson for MLS in the second half Wednesday night, Pep Guardiola accosted the referees and MLS coach Caleb Porter for the final minutes of the match. As the game ended, he wagged his finger in Porter's face and refused to shake his h...

MLS Answers With An Insane Goal Of Their Own
MLS equalized against Bayern Munich in the 51st minute and it was every bit as sensational as Robert Lewandowski's. Bobby Boswell pushed the ball up the pitch and Erick Torres headed it further to Bradley Wright-Phillips, where a single touch was all that he needed before blasting it to the top cor...

Robert Lewandowski Scores On Curling Missile Against MLS All-Stars
Lewandowski fired off this rocket for Bayern Munich in the ninth minute of the MLS All-Star Game. Receiving the ball in a crowd of defenders, it didn't look like he had a chance to get anything off, but the ball popped up on his first touch and it actually bought him some time to wind up and kick th...

Ronaldo's Facial Fitness Commercial Is Inexplicable, Perfect
Have you been looking for a way to achieve maximum facial tone that doesn't make you feel so bored and tired? Isn't it time you had a way to be happy with your facial fitness without all the hassle? There have probably been dozens of scientists with degrees in science-related fields who have long ar...


![Soccer Star Ezequiel Lavezzi Poses With Naked Vagina [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uow9ob8or0sdfxxldht7.png)
Soccer Star Ezequiel Lavezzi Poses With Naked Vagina [NSFW]
This is Argentina and Paris Saint-Germain player Ezequiel Lavezzi. According to one soccer reporter, Tancredi Palmeri, once-private pictures of the soccer player with a lady are now being circulated around the internet. They are below:...

German Player Bellyflops Right Into Perfect Header
This goal is at the top of Reddit's r/sports right now, and it's not hard to see why. It's Christopher Bieber of German fourth-division side Würzburger Kickers, scoring a header that's as slapstick as it is genuinely spectacular. ...

The Best Fake Soccer In The World Is Played Right Here In The USA
BERKELEY, CA. - The flashing electronic bulletin board on College Avenue read “SOCCER EVENT.” Berkeley Police closed off main roads a mile out from California Memorial Stadium an hour before Real Madrid was to play Inter Milan in a fake soccer game as part of the International Champions Cup, a fake ...

Real Madrid-Roma In Dallas Fell Victim To A Massive Pitch Invasion
Real Madrid and Roma played a preseason friendly at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas last night, and at one point, there were more invaders on the pitch than there were players....


Crazy-Ass Italian Sport Combines Rugby With Bare-Knuckle Fighting
There is a sporting event held annually in the Piazza Santa Croce in Florence, Italy. It is called Calcio Fiorentino, and it is an ancient form of football that is essentially rugby, but with a whole bunch of dudes just mercilessly beating the crap out of each other. ...


Fans Rush Pitch, Get Selfie With Mario Balotelli
Two fans rushed the pitch in the 90th minute of A.C. Milan's 5-1 friendly loss to Manchester City at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. The Idiots on the Pitch wanted to get a selfie with Mario Balotelli and Mario obliged....