Soccer Page 298 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manchester United Have A Wayne Rooney Problem
Despite what you may have heard, Wayne Rooney does not in fact suck. He remains a really good Premier League player who is very smart and boasts a unique skill set that can be quite valuable to the right team. However, he was really bad in Manchester United’s 3-1 loss to Watford, and it’s becoming i...

Edinson Cavani Scores 4 Goals In First Half, Somehow Still Looks Kinda Bad
Finally, the Soccer Gods have seen fit to smile upon poor old Edinson Cavani. For the Uruguayan striker’s brave and unrelenting tilt at the enormous metaphorical windmill that has been tormenting him—gusting his first touches four yards further than required, blowing wide shots that should be gimme ...

Jordan Henderson Scores Dipping Rocket From Distance
Surprisingly, that is Jordan Henderson—not Philippe Coutinho—scoring a beautiful curling, dipping effort from almost 30 yards to put Liverpool up 2-0 away at Chelsea. ...

Blind Brazilian Soccer Man Scores A Couple Bangers In The Paralympics
Meet Jefinho, the blind soccer five-a-side player who’s been called the “Paralympic Pelé.” In the semifinals of a Paralympics against China, Jefinho demonstrated how he earned such a lofty moniker by dusting the entire Chinese defense before cracking in a shot from distance—twice....

Leicester City Aren't Done Yet
Leicester City won the Premier League last season, so this year they’re in the Champions League. Let me repeat that: Leicester City, a team that three seasons ago was happily dashing about in England’s second tier, somehow plucked up more points than Manchester United and Arsenal and Liverpool and C...

Edinson Cavani Is A Hero
Maybe we’ve been looking at this all wrong. Maybe Edinson Cavani—the once world-bestriding striker who now seems trapped in his own private purgatory, one where his intelligent movement and powerful runs allow him to crash through defenses at will, only for all semblance of confidence and skill and ...

Evil Person Ruins Lionel Messi's Career In Video Game
One of the chief appeals of the much-beloved video game series Football Manager is seeing how this meticulously-researched game that goes to absurd lengths for realism forecasts the future, and how you, by way of your invented manager avatar, can affect that future. Usually, gamers accomplish this t...

Here's Barcelona, Literally Walking The Ball Into The Net
Great goals come in all shapes and sizes. A particularly satisfying kind of wondergoal is the one where the players tip-tap the ball between each other, snaking their way through the entire defense with technique and quickness rather than brute physicality, and only sliding the ball over the goal li...

Soccer Man Gets Extremely Hyped About This Dope Thing He Just Did
It’s not often that defenders are the architects of highlight reel-quality plays, and seeing as an acrobatic goal-line clearance is basically the defensive equivalent of a golazo for an attacker, it makes sense that Bursaspor’s Aziz Behich was super pumped after pulling off this amazing feat:...

Mario Balotelli Is Back, Baby!
The shirt colors look familiar but the team is different, and so are the country and the pressure and the expectations, and maybe even the player, too. Mario Balotelli is back on the soccer field for the first time in a long time, and he’s doing good things for the first time in even longer....

Romelu Lukaku Smashes Sunderland, And Everton Might Be Pretty Good This Season
Sunderland were terrible. Their defending was appalling all game, most obviously on Everton’s third goal. Who the hell is marking Romelu Lukaku here?...

Thankfully, The Manchester Derby Wasn't All About José Mourinho And Pep Guardiola
It’s more than a little understandable that the narrative buildup coming into this weekend’s Manchester Derby was centered on the game as a managerial showdown. Yes, the two iconic managers of this generation—José Mourinho and Pep Guardiola, two legitimate soccer geniuses who famously and furiously ...

Look At This Flipping Throw-In Assist
Nothing more American soccer than scoring off of a deep ball throw in....

Christian Benteke Probably Made Crystal Palace Sign His Little Brother, Who Sucks
It’s often difficult for small teams to convince players at big clubs making big bucks to forgo the glory and riches of the game’s destination clubs in favor of being the star at the little team, even when said player has found himself latched to the big team’s bench. Thus small clubs must pull out ...
![Grandstanding NWSL Owner Plays National Anthem Early To Avoid Megan Rapinoe's Protest [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dzkm70a8bprf1tkspuop.jpg)
Grandstanding NWSL Owner Plays National Anthem Early To Avoid Megan Rapinoe's Protest [Update]
Megan Rapinoe’s Seattle Reign traveled to Washington D.C. to play the Washington Spirit tonight. It’s the Reign’s first game since Rapinoe knelt in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick last weekend. She expected to kneel again tonight, but she didn’t get a chance to, as Washington played the national an...

Christian Pulisic Is Already Here
So much of the talk around Christian Pulisic is in the future tense. How good could he be, how soon will he be ready to play every week for Dortmund, when should he look to move to a first team elsewhere. This is fine, since he’s 17 and has been playing first-team soccer for less than a year. Howeve...

Venezuelan Soccer Man Puts Argentina In The Trash With Ankle-Breaking Solo Goal
Look how sad these Argentine superstars are. You’d be bummed too if Venezuela’s Juanpi had embarrassed you with this golazo....

Extremely Feisty Dog On The Field
We got a dog on the field. Someone give that little dude a treat....

Arsenal Finally Woke Up And Signed Some Very Good Reinforcements
Arsenal spent most of the summer transfer window swinging and missing at a series of targets. They went at Jamie Vardy, but he stayed with Leicester. They then made a serious effort to dislodge Alexandre Lacazatte from Lyon, but his club tried to extract an increasingly inflated amount of money from...

Here Is Your Champions League Group Stage Draw
The Champions League playoff round finished up yesterday—Roma losing on aggregate 4-1 to Porto and Ajax losing 5-2 to Rostov were the most consequential results—which means we are on to the group stage! Here are the groups that were drawn today:...