Soccer Page 299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
But Seriously, Don't Touch Zlatan Ibrahimović
We've been over this....
Hey, Another Guy Got Kicked In The Head Yesterday
It's getting real out here, man. Yesterday, we saw NFL player Antonio Brown jump kick a punter, and it was fucking gorgeous. Let's keep this going....
Reporter Beaten For Asking Soccer Star If He Ritually Sacrificed Rapper
The brother of Asamoah Gyan, Ghana national team captain, has been arrested for allegedly leading a group of men in the brutal beating of a Ghanaian journalist. The reason for the alleged attack? The reporter had asked Gyan about rumors that he had a missing rapper ritually sacrificed. Wait, what?!?...
Alan Partridge Deploys The Soccermeter
"Twat! That was liquid football!"...
Reporter Claims Xabi Alonso Left Spain Because Of Affair With Singer
Xabi Alonso's departure from Real Madrid was confusing from the beginning. Why would a club leader with an automatic starting spot on the Champions League-winning team up and leave? According to one reporter, the choice was less a vote for Bayern Munich than a chance to save his marriage....
Cute, Deluded Young Leeds Fan Thinks He Can Coach Team To European Cup
Little Zack Webb has already developed some pretty strong convictions in his seven years on Earth. One is that Leeds are tops. Another is that the club could be the best in the world. Most importantly, he knows he's the man to make it happen....
Lionel Messi Still Has Haters In Argentina
Just when we thought Lionel Messi had finally gotten over his fraught past with his native Argentina, some random Argentine coach reminds us of how shortsighted those South Americans can be. Or maybe he's right and Messi really should just quit soccer and "go play golf instead."...
The Hard Work Of Loving Soccer In 1980s America
Excerpted from The Soccer Diaries: An American's Thirty-Year Pursuit of the International Game....
Jürgen Klinsmann's Goal Is A Semifinal At The 2018 World Cup
Jürgen Klinsmann wasn't brought in for Brazil. Fans, U.S. Soccer, and Klinsmann himself know he's here for the long run, being given time to build his own team and trot it out in Russia in 2018. And he's already set a goal....
World's Saddest Goalkeeper Also Has The World's Saddest Twitter Bio
This is Steve Harper, a 39-year-old goalkeeper in his first season for Hull City after being a fixture on the Newcastle United bench for the better part of 20 years, which included stints on loan elsewhere. He is, relatively speaking, baddish at his job....
Arsenal's Indistinguishable White Boys, Ranked
1. Aaron Ramsey...
A Striker For You! Another For You!: Your Transfer Deadline Day Roundup
Another crazy transfer deadline has came and went, and after a couple tense hours of waiting, it appears most of the biggest moves, like Radamel Falcao to Manchester United, were squeezed under before the curtain fell. Here's a recap of the biggest moves completed yesterday:...
Is The World's Best Manager Good Enough For Bayern Munich?
On July 27th, just months after the end of Pep Guardiola's first campaign as coach of Bayern Munich—one in which his team won four titles and dominated the Bundesliga like a counselors' team in a summer camp league—Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, Bayern's chairman, did something strange. While discussing whe...
Slightly Creepy Bart Simpson Joins Russian Soccer Club
In some kind of convoluted branding exercise, Russian soccer club Zenit St. Petersburg introduced a slightly off Bart Simpson as its new player today. Synergy!...
There Were So Many Goals In Today's Everton-Chelsea Match
Alright, Chelsea beat Everton by three goals today—two of which it took them all of three minutes into the match to score—but that doesn't even begin to state how insane this game was. There were nine goals! There could've been three more! There was a Tim Howard head butt!...
Ageless Wonders, Crazy Owners, And Ultras: Our 2014-2015 Serie A Preview
Italy's Serie A is a league of stories, full of characters, narratives, plots, tensions, climaxes, and clichés. Time and again, the line between fact and fiction becomes so blurred that you just have to throw your hands up and shrug. You really couldn't make a lot of this stuff up....
Wayne Routledge Scores With A Beautiful Chest-High Volley
Mmmmm, this contorted, leaping volley from outside the box by Swansea City's Wayne Routledge is just delicious. How did he get his foot so high?...
Report: Manchester City Join Arsenal, Real Madrid In Falcao Sweepstakes
We are in the final throes of what has already been a hectic summer transfer window, and it now looks likely that at least one more huge name will be on the move, with Falcao possibly strengthening an already way-too-good Man City attack....