Soccer Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Atlético Madrid's Diego Simeone Is The World's Dopest Manager
Atlético Madrid and Barcelona are set to play the biggest league game in the history of the world today. Most of the cast in this production are well known—Barça are still Barça, though by all accounts their manager is not long for this city; we've touched on Atléti's players before—but the total ba...

France's Manager Sues Samir Nasri's Girlfriend For "Public Insult"
After Samir Nasri's girlfriend took to Twitter earlier this week to slam the French national team for leaving her man off the World Cup team, said France manager Didier Deschamps has brought a lawsuit against her for public insult. This is so French....

Sepp Blatter: Giving Qatar The World Cup "Was A Mistake"
FIFA president Sepp Blatter offered up his strongest words yet regarding the scandal- and problem-plagued Qatar bid for the 2022 World Cup, admitting what nearly everyone else already has: "Of course," Blatter told a Swiss TV station, "it was a mistake."...

Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....

Europa League Final Worst Game Ever, Ends In Penalty Shootout
Spanish side Sevilla played Portuguese side Benfica today in the Europa League final. It was the worst match ever....

The Empty-Seat Game: Japanese Soccer's Non-Solution To A Racism Scandal
First it was a tall woman in bright clothing with a microphone. Then her cameraman. Then a short man in a coat and tie with a notepad. Then another man with a smaller camera that was already rolling....

Samir Nasri's Girlfriend Is Not Happy With France's World Cup Team
It's been a bit of an up and down week for French star Samir Nasri. On Sunday, his Manchester City team won the Premier League. Way up! But today, Nasri found out he was left off France's World Cup squad. Way down!...

The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...

You'll Never Flop Alone: Sad Scenes From The Last Of Liverpool's Season
On Sunday, I watched the deflating end of Liverpool's season from various points along Anfield Road, not far from the team's stadium and headquarters. The result was the culmination of a slow-motion regression to an unhappy mean. Having entered the stretch run looking like a lock to win the Premiers...

Soccer-Loving Grandma Does Not Appreciate Her Grandkids' Prank
Some mischevious Man City supporters decided that it would be fun to trick their grandma into thinking that City had scored an early goal during its title-clinching game against West Ham yesterday. Granny did not appreciate their shenanigans....

Hooligan Invades Pitch, Throws Pathetic Punch At Player
After a game between Zenit St. Petersburg and Dinamo Moscow, a Zenit fan rushed the field and attempted to sucker punch Dinamo defender Vladimir Granat. He didn't really succeed....

League 1 Semi-Final Produces Wondergoal Of The Year
What you see here is Preston North End striker Joe Garner drilling home an equalizer in the first leg of his team's League 1 semi-final against Rotherham United. We're struggling to think of a more impressive goal in any league this season....

Animated Soccer Highlights Are Awesome
Artist and filmmaker Richard Swarbrick created an animated highlight reel for Liverpool's season and it is so cool. We need more of these for every sport. ...

Greatest Ever La Liga Season Gets The Barça-Atlético Final It Deserves
The stage is set. As our search for the rightful champion of La Liga enters its final act, the protagonists make their way to center stage, swaying, stumbling, and trying to keep their feet about them to avoid face-planting into the orchestra pit like the third title aspirant, Real Madrid. The curta...

Soccer Player Rushes To Stands To Applaud His Goal
FK Trakai's Dzimtry Koub scored an 86th minute equalizer in yesterday's Lithuanian A Lyga match against Zalgiris Vilnius, and immediately sprinted into the stands to give himself some polite applause. That he did it at an away match makes it even better....

This Great Yaya Touré Goal Is The Perfect Cap To The 2014 PL Season
Well, it's over. Manchester City played Aston Villa today in the Premier League, and whammed on them. Unless Manchester City lose to midtable West Ham next weekend, they'll be crowned Premier League champions. ...

Adorable Puppies Invade Soccer Pitch; Dickhead Player Intervenes
Everyone who isn't a giant dickhead knows that there are few things in this world that are more enjoyable than watching doggies run around on a soccer pitch. So when three adorable doggies decided to interrupt a Bolivian soccer match, it should have been a joyous occasion for all. Too bad one of the...

French Professional Soccer Team Hires Woman As Manager
French soccer team Clermont Foot have hired Helena Costa as their manager. The club made an official announcement today:...

Japanese Soccer Team Incorporates Half The Team In This Fake Free Kick
I’m not sure how much of an actual advantage Kyoto Sanga got from this five-man fakeout goal, but any innovation on the standard, one player half-heartedly jogging past the ball before the guy you always knew was going to shoot takes a swing is welcome. Next time, I want to see two lines crisscrossi...