Soccer Page 316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brazil's World Cup Kick-Off Times Are <em>Perfect</em>
The last four World Cups have been nightmares for American television viewers, with games kicking off at sunrise or (in 2002) in the middle of the night, and finishing in the middle of the afternoon. But Brazil's got our backs, and the match times are absolutely ideal for making sure no one gets a d...

Why Won't The Premier League Protect Its Players From Concussions?
Sports are brutal. Just a few weeks ago, we all watched boxer Francisco Leal get knocked out, never to regain consciousness. People who watch football, hockey or lacrosse see broken bones, ripped ligaments, spinal injuries, and concussions on an almost weekly basis. These are viewed as gladiator spo...

Soccer Team Issues Wonderfully Bitchy Statement Over Pee Allegations
Boreham Wood, in the sixth tier of English soccer, lost an FA Cup heartbreaker on Tuesday night at Carlisle United. Afterward, media accounts and photos showed the visitors' locker room to be a mess, including a tea kettle in a urinal, a broken door, and what was reportedly a puddle of urine on the ...

Hear The Insane Portuguese Call Of Cristiano Ronaldo's Hat Trick
Almost singlehandedly, Ronaldo put Portugal through to the World Cup yesterday, scoring thrice against Sweden. Here's how it sounded on Portuguese radio, as called by the delirious and grateful Nuno Matos....

Croatian Player And Fans Celebrate World Cup Berth With Pro-Nazi Chant
This is video of Australian-born Croatia defender Joe Šimunić leading fans in a chant after Croatia beat Iceland to qualify for the world cup. "For the homeland," Šimunić calls, and the crowd responds, "Ready!" But it's more complicated than that....

France Need A Miracle To Make The World Cup
France most likely will not qualify for the 2014 Brazil World Cup....

An Effortless Goal (Except For All The Running)
Somália, of ABC Futebol Clube in Brazil's Serie B, scored this (mostly) effortless goal Saturday in a 4-1 victory over Agremiação Sportiva Arapiraquense. He ran three quarters of the pitch and just sort of flicked a laser into the back of the net without ever really breaking stride. Filthy....

I Can't Stop Looking At This Absolutely Vicious Free Kick
This is just filthy. Uruguay's Edinson Cavani freezes the entire nation of Jordan on this marvelous free kick. Uruguay won the first leg of its World Cup qualifying playoff with Jordan 5-0, but this is the only goal anyone ever needs....

The Portugal-Sweden World Cup Playoff Will Be A Beautiful Tragedy
Two-legged playoffs to decide the final spots for the 2014 World Cup are being played this week and next. We've already seen Uruguay and Mexico more or less punch their tickets with mollywhoppings of, respectively, Jordan and New Zealand. Friday's European playoff matchups will undoubtedly be much m...

Mexico Just Destroyed New Zealand. New Zealand Sucked So Much.
Mexico passed through them. They used long through balls, practically jamming it down the All Whites' throats. They dominated on set pieces. They defended with almost profound ease. They tripled their opponents' possession. And barring one the most unbelievable comebacks in the history of sports, Me...

Untied Shoelace Leads To Two Great Displays Of Soccer Sportsmanship
After collecting the ball during a match last week in the Saudi Arabian league last week, Al-Nahda goalkeeper Tisir Al-Antaif found his shoelace undone. With his big Hamburger Helper gloves, he couldn't re-tie it himself. So Al-Ittihad's Brazilian striker Jobson bent down to do it for him....

Mexico Are Definitely Going To The World Cup. Right?
For a few minutes, anyway, Mexico looked to be out of the World Cup. Last month, they lost away to Costa Rica on the final day of World Cup Qualifying, and Panama scored a late goal to take a 2-1 lead over the United States. If scores held, Panama would have moved on to a World Cup playoff. It didn'...
![Translated Neymar Interviews Are A Gift [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1965ci7b7bjapjpg.jpg)
Translated Neymar Interviews Are A Gift [Updated]
Barcelona forward Neymar's play has people calling him a genius, but if recent interviews are any indication, we may have been selling the guy short by limiting that descriptor to his athletic ability....

Goalkeeper Scores Last-Second, Game-Tying Bicycle Kick
In the last seconds of yesterday's match, down 0-1, fourth tier Spanish side UD Alcúdia sent keeper Barceló forward as an 11th attacker. To everyone's surprise, it totally worked. ...

Let's Celebrate The Least Efficient Scorer in The Premier League
The chart above shows the Premier Leaguers with the highest ratios of goals to shots on goal this season among those who've both scored and averaged two tries per league game. It seems like the sort of thing you could write quite a lot about, but then the more you think about it, the less clear it i...

Tiny Children Foul The Crap Out Of Each Other
This horribly shot video comes from halftime of today's Dublin County Gaelic Football final. Two young lads, having a kick. Then, around the 35-second mark, things start getting ugly....

Video: The History Of International Football Transfers In Sixty Seconds
The video above, by EyeSeeData.com's Mac Bryla, jams 133 years of international football transfers into very cool-looking visual. If you're interested in digging into the data a bit more you can check out the interactive version he made on his site, which lets you break down the transfers by country...

I Can't Believe Chicharito Just Missed This Open Goal
C'mon, son....

Nearly Eight Minutes Of Zlatan Ibrahimovic Scoring Amazing Goals
Here's a collection of some of Zlatan Ibrahimovic's most stunning goals from over the years. Though the stank face impulse will be strong, try to keep your eyes open for the whole video, they only get better....

Here's The Most Impressive Own Goal Of The Year So Far
Here is FC Schweinfurt midfielder Stefan Seufert attempting to dispossess 1860 München II just inside his own half. He does! (Mostly because the opposing midfielder bailed on the play.) And then Seufert scored a 60-yard rocket-strike own goal. ...