Soccer Page 348 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Eric Hassli's Stoppage Time Volley Proved The Existence Of A Canadian Rocket Program
While the Voyageurs Cup may be one of soccer's less-prestigious trophies, claiming it in the Canadian Championship does have its rewards: specifically, an invite to the CONCACAF Champions League. Last night's first leg between Whitecaps and Toronto FC in Vancouver looked like an upset 1-0 win by t...

Reconstructing The Most Exciting Day In The History Of Soccer (And Maybe Sports, Period)
The final day of the 2011 MLB regular season enchanted us with its insanity; its events became a video game montage and inspired its own tag here on Deadspin. That day, however, only determined which teams would gain entry to the playoffs. By comparison, Sunday's final day of the English Premier ...

Carlos Tevez Happily Wields "R.I.P. Fergie" Sign At Man City's Parade
After a miracle at Etihad, two goals in stoppage time, gave City its first title since 1968, the team today celebrated with a parade. The trophy was carried through the streets of Manchester on an open-top bus, attended by delirious fans and at least one jubilant forward who does not forgive or forg...

Iranian Cartoonist Gets 25 Lashes For Drawing Politician As Soccer Player
Cartoonist Mahmoud Shokraiyeh drew a member of the Iranian parliament wearing a soccer jersey, and so now he's now going to be lashed 25 times because this is Iran we're talking about and some of their provincial judges and politicians don't look too kindly on things like artistic expression and, I ...

A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk
Here's something totally normal from Brazil's Série A. Sport Recife defender Tobi gets booked during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final (a regional championship) and, when asked by the referee to turn around so the ref can see his number, performs the moonwalk. While American audie...

This Week In Guys Losing Their Lunch On The Soccer Pitch
It has been an unfortunate week for gentlemen suffering gastrointestinal distress on the soccer pitch, as at least two professional stars displayed their athletic acumen—and their lunch—before what we assume was a grossed-out television audience....

Jozy Altidore Knocked Unconscious, Suffers Back Injury In Scary Sideline Crash
While Clint Dempsey has rightfully earned most of the acclaim among Americans playing pro soccer in Europe this season, striker Jozy Altidore's quietly been having a tremendous year for Dutch Eredivisie team AZ Alkmaar with 18 goals on the campaign, helping to lead his squad to possible Europa Lea...

Papiss Cissé Enters His Bid For Premiership Goal Of The Season
Newcastle won its first match at Stamford Bridge since 1986 with a shocker of a 2-0 victory over Chelsea, keyed by Papiss Cissé's two goals—the second of which is a strong challenger to Peter Crouch for EPL goal of the season....

An Italian Soccer Manager Punched His Own Player In The Face During The Match
Fiorentina manager Delio Rossi attacked player Adem Ljajic during today's match against Novara, taking offense to Ljajic's sarcastic applause after Rossi substituted for him early in the match. Ljajic—who just last week was considered a lock for a transfer to Arsenal—was apparently in poor form as...

Fabrice Muamba Returned To Reebok Stadium For Today's Bolton-Tottenham Match
Six weeks after suffering the cardiac arrest that stopped his heart for 78 minutes, Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba returned to greet fans and players for today's Bolton-Tottenham Hotspur match at Reebok Stadium. It's fitting for him to come back today, as it was at the Spurs' White Hart Lane Mua...

Today's Lesson In Sportsmanship Comes From The Islamic Republic of Iran
On a day when we learn of the lengthy suspensions handed down to New Orleans Saints players amidst the bounty scandal, here's a palate cleanser of sportsmanship (or, as they like to call it in the soccer world, Fair Play) that took place yesterday in Dubai....

Roberto Mancini Told Sir Alex Ferguson To Shaddap You Face
It figured that tempers would flare a few times during yesterday's pivotal Manchester derby, but perhaps the greatest drama took place outside the touch lines when City manager Roberto Mancini and United chief Alex Ferguson got into a chippy war of words that took several attempts to separate by as...

"I'd Rather Drink Methamphetamine," And Other Complaints About Soccer Being On ESPN
City's thrilling 1-0 win over Man United in today's Manchester Derby drew acclaim as a groundbreaking moment in broadcasting; the first-ever Premier League weekday game to air on ESPN (as opposed to ESPN2) earned on-air hype and plenty of attention on the Worldwide Leader's website. ...

Today In Free Kicks: Kyle Walker, Young-Pyo Lee Produced Two Of The Most Gorgeous Goals You'll Ever See
The past 20 hours have been outstanding for fans of set pieces, as two beautiful free kick goals found the net and proved decisive in their respective games. Spurs back Kyle Walker secured victory for his squad in their match this morning against Blackburn with the above strike, a curving weasel o...

Here's Gus Johnson Calling The San Jose Earthquakes' Exciting Last-Second Win
We heard last week from our friends at Awful Announcing that excitable announcer Gus Johnson had picked up the strange gig of calling MLS games on radio for the San Jose Earthquakes. We tuned in tonight, and were not disappointed. While our emeritus editor Will Leitch has concluded that Johnson's...

ITV Cuts Into Champions League Extra Time To Bring You A Very Surprised Newsreader
Three minutes into extra time of Real Madrid and Bayern Munich's Champions League second leg, ITV—broadcasting the match in Britain—cut to the News At Ten studio. The anchor was as confused as the viewers. There was still plenty of soccer to be played, and it was 15 minutes shy of 10:00 anyway....

Fernando Torres's Goal Drew Orgasmic Moaning From Gary Neville
It wasn't so much that £50m man Torres scored a goal — though, holy crap, Fernando Torres scored a goal! — as it was Chelsea completing a 10-man comeback and 45-minute stand against Barcelona in the Champions League semifinal. But Gary Neville, working the game for Sky Sports, was driven to what c...

John Terry Was Sent Off From The Champions League Semifinal After Pulling A Metta World Peace
Minutes after Barcelona scored to tie the aggregate at 1-1, Chelsea captain John Terry was sent off for one of the dumbest stunts seen in the Champions League in years: kneeing Barça striker Alexis Sánchez in the back....

Italian Soccer Match Delayed When Fans Demand Players Hand Over Their Jerseys
Today's Serie A match between Genoa and Siena was delayed for 30 minutes when Genoa supporters, angered by the team being down 4-0, took matters into their own hands. As reported at Goal.com:...

Manchester United Blew A Two-Goal Lead With Ten Minutes Left To Hold Open The Premiership Door
A win over Everton today would have virtually assured Manchester United yet another Premier League championship—and given the Red Devils were playing at home against a team that has never beaten them in the EPL hasn't won an EPL match at Old Trafford in 20 years, it should have been a lock....