Soccer Page 353 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Papiss Cissé Enters His Bid For Premiership Goal Of The Season
Newcastle won its first match at Stamford Bridge since 1986 with a shocker of a 2-0 victory over Chelsea, keyed by Papiss Cissé's two goals—the second of which is a strong challenger to Peter Crouch for EPL goal of the season....
An Italian Soccer Manager Punched His Own Player In The Face During The Match
Fiorentina manager Delio Rossi attacked player Adem Ljajic during today's match against Novara, taking offense to Ljajic's sarcastic applause after Rossi substituted for him early in the match. Ljajic—who just last week was considered a lock for a transfer to Arsenal—was apparently in poor form as...
Fabrice Muamba Returned To Reebok Stadium For Today's Bolton-Tottenham Match
Six weeks after suffering the cardiac arrest that stopped his heart for 78 minutes, Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba returned to greet fans and players for today's Bolton-Tottenham Hotspur match at Reebok Stadium. It's fitting for him to come back today, as it was at the Spurs' White Hart Lane Mua...
Today's Lesson In Sportsmanship Comes From The Islamic Republic of Iran
On a day when we learn of the lengthy suspensions handed down to New Orleans Saints players amidst the bounty scandal, here's a palate cleanser of sportsmanship (or, as they like to call it in the soccer world, Fair Play) that took place yesterday in Dubai....
Roberto Mancini Told Sir Alex Ferguson To Shaddap You Face
It figured that tempers would flare a few times during yesterday's pivotal Manchester derby, but perhaps the greatest drama took place outside the touch lines when City manager Roberto Mancini and United chief Alex Ferguson got into a chippy war of words that took several attempts to separate by as...
"I'd Rather Drink Methamphetamine," And Other Complaints About Soccer Being On ESPN
City's thrilling 1-0 win over Man United in today's Manchester Derby drew acclaim as a groundbreaking moment in broadcasting; the first-ever Premier League weekday game to air on ESPN (as opposed to ESPN2) earned on-air hype and plenty of attention on the Worldwide Leader's website. ...
Today In Free Kicks: Kyle Walker, Young-Pyo Lee Produced Two Of The Most Gorgeous Goals You'll Ever See
The past 20 hours have been outstanding for fans of set pieces, as two beautiful free kick goals found the net and proved decisive in their respective games. Spurs back Kyle Walker secured victory for his squad in their match this morning against Blackburn with the above strike, a curving weasel o...
Here's Gus Johnson Calling The San Jose Earthquakes' Exciting Last-Second Win
We heard last week from our friends at Awful Announcing that excitable announcer Gus Johnson had picked up the strange gig of calling MLS games on radio for the San Jose Earthquakes. We tuned in tonight, and were not disappointed. While our emeritus editor Will Leitch has concluded that Johnson's...
ITV Cuts Into Champions League Extra Time To Bring You A Very Surprised Newsreader
Three minutes into extra time of Real Madrid and Bayern Munich's Champions League second leg, ITV—broadcasting the match in Britain—cut to the News At Ten studio. The anchor was as confused as the viewers. There was still plenty of soccer to be played, and it was 15 minutes shy of 10:00 anyway....
Fernando Torres's Goal Drew Orgasmic Moaning From Gary Neville
It wasn't so much that £50m man Torres scored a goal — though, holy crap, Fernando Torres scored a goal! — as it was Chelsea completing a 10-man comeback and 45-minute stand against Barcelona in the Champions League semifinal. But Gary Neville, working the game for Sky Sports, was driven to what c...
John Terry Was Sent Off From The Champions League Semifinal After Pulling A Metta World Peace
Minutes after Barcelona scored to tie the aggregate at 1-1, Chelsea captain John Terry was sent off for one of the dumbest stunts seen in the Champions League in years: kneeing Barça striker Alexis Sánchez in the back....
Italian Soccer Match Delayed When Fans Demand Players Hand Over Their Jerseys
Today's Serie A match between Genoa and Siena was delayed for 30 minutes when Genoa supporters, angered by the team being down 4-0, took matters into their own hands. As reported at Goal.com:...
Manchester United Blew A Two-Goal Lead With Ten Minutes Left To Hold Open The Premiership Door
A win over Everton today would have virtually assured Manchester United yet another Premier League championship—and given the Red Devils were playing at home against a team that has never beaten them in the EPL hasn't won an EPL match at Old Trafford in 20 years, it should have been a lock....
Soccer Is Not Like Sex
I'm going to let you in on one of the secrets of the internet: people like clicking on things about sex. Like, maybe you wandered over to the Fox Sports home page today, and you saw the headline "Score! European study says soccer like sex for fans." You probably clicked on it! I know I did....
Barcelona Broke Down At Just The Right Times To Let Chelsea Escape With A 1-0 Champions League Win
Chelsea walked away with a 1-0 win in their home leg of the Champions League semifinal with Barcelona today, putting a stumbling block in the road of Barça's attempt to defend their CL title. They did this despite being dominated at nearly every aspect of the game, thanks to Barcelona's failure t...
The Eternal Question: Can You Get A Boner From A Girl With A Great Body And Ronaldinho's Face?
Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is charged with paying for sex with an underage stripper, and that's just about the least interesting aspect of his trial. Consider: stripper nuns (one of whom is now a politician, of course.) But there's a sports angle here, and it's gross....
Italian Soccer Player Dies After Collapsing On The Pitch
Italian league matches were suspended today across the country after the horrifying news that Piermario Morosini, a midfielder for Livorno on loan from Udinese, had collapsed on the pitch with a heart attack and was pronounced dead at a hospital. He was 25....
German Soccer Trolling Is The Best Trolling
In a match that may be the deciding factor in the German Bundesliga title race, Borussia Dortmund seized a 1-0 victory over Bayern Munich when keeper Roman Weidenfeller stopped Arjen Robben's penalty in the 82nd minute, leading to an extraordinary (and ballsy) act of trash-talking from Serbian de...
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....
Soccer Player Takes Photo With Adorable Child—And <i>Playboy</i> Magazine He Just Bought
Panamanian defender Felipe Baloy plays for Mexican side Santos Laguna, and when approached by a charming little tyke decked out in full Warriors uniform, he happily knelt and posed for a photo. So did Ms. Jackeline Arroyo, cover model for the March issue of Playboy's Mexican edition....