Soccer Page 368 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Women Of The German National Soccer Team Endeavor To Show They Are Not "Butch" By Posing For <i>Playboy</i>
This may or may not be a good thing for women's sports:...

What It's Like Being The Only Drunk One At The Frenzied Malaysian Soccer Cup
The 2011 Malaysia FA Cup played its championship game yesterday—Terengganu FA defeated Kelantan FA, 2-1, and Cyrus_the_Virus, who says he was the drunkest person out of 80,000 spectators (Malaysia is a Muslim nation), was on hand for the sights and sounds, a stranger in a strange land....

Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...

This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....

Sporting KC's First Home Goal Was Scored By A Cow
More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others]...

Far Better Than This Goalie Scoring Is The Suspiciously Laid-Back Commentary That Accompanies His Goal
Goalies don't often score, especially not from the hinterlands behind the halfway line. But when they do, they should all be so lucky as to have two exceedingly mellow West Indian commentators celebrate their exploits. The particulars of this goal come to us from tipster Sam F, who reports that th...

After Disappointing Campaign, Spanish Soccer Club Hopes This Koala Lounge Singer Will Cheer You Up
Getafe CF stunk up the joint in La Liga this year, with a 12-win, 8-draw, 18-loss campaign that put the squad on the cusp of relegation....

US Soccer's Gold Cup Chances Improve After Five Mexican Players Test Positive For PEDs
Decio de María Serrano, the secretary general of Mexican soccer, announced today that five players on the Mexican national soccer team currently poised to dominate the Gold Cup tested positive for a substance called Clenbuterol, which is the same drug that Alberto Contador tested positive for at las...

This Was A Terrible Penalty Kick Until It Was A Goal
A match between Termeno and Dro, two clubs in Italy's lower division, went to penalty kicks earlier in the week. A Termeno player's attempt hit the crossbar, and as the Dro keeper sprinted towards his teammates in celebration, the ball came down with enough backspin to carry it into the net. Terme...

Someone Nearly Sold Out Citi Field Last Night (Hint: It Was Not The Mets)
Ecuador and Greece drew 1-1 in a Flushing friendly. Writes ESPN New York, "While the Mets were away, Citi Field played host to its first soccer match — a 1-1 draw between Greece and Ecuador. It attracted 39,656 spectators, outdrawing all but the Mets' home-opener crowd of 41,075."...

FIFA Does Not Care For You Or Your Religion
FIFA has a lot of problems right now, and given that Sepp Blatter has enlisted Placido Domingo and Henry Kissinger to solve them, they're not gonna get solved....

Sepp Blatter's "Council of Wisdom" May Include...Placido Domingo?
Previously in our Sepp Blatter is a loathsome historical figure series, we likened the Swiss dictator of FIFA to a wicked American president and a murderous Chilean general. But where does one go with the news that Blatter now wants a Spanish opera star to help him clean up corruption in FIFA? This ...

Well, The Ryan Giggs Affair Just Turned Really Fucking Weird
The News of the World, scorned by the Super Injunction, just punched in the launch code and turned both keys. They reported yesterday (subscription required) that Giggs had carried on an 8-year affair with his brother's wife, Natasha....

Wayne Rooney's Bloody Hair Plugs Are Literally Bloody
"Hi all there's my head. It will take a few months to grow. Still a bit bloody to. But that's all normal. #hairwego" [@WayneRooney; Previously]...

Here's 100 Japanese Children Playing Against A Professional Soccer Team
The best parts are the corner kick (1:44) and the goal (3:50). I always wondered about how this would work, whether skill could overcome large numbers. Would it be possible to put a group together of 8 NBA players that couldn't beat the Heat starting lineup? Can an outfield of the two best center ...

Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel
A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...

Here's Video Of A Really Cool Goal That Wasn't Enough To Make Up For A Really Stupid Goal
In the first half of this Copa Libertadores semi-final match between Cerro Porteño vs Santos, C.P. goalkeeper Diego Baretto dove in a valiant attempt to prevent soon-to-be-Chelsea-wonderboy Neymar from scoring. Baretto dove to punch the ball away, only he dove and punched the ball back into the go...

Watch This Heroic Linesman Valiantly Try To Keep The Portland Timbers Undefeated At Home
Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk linesman, the Portland Timbers finally lost at home this past weekend. For a while, though, it looked like Portland might steal a victory from visiting DC United. That was because the refereeing crew seemed determined to give the ...

Watch Bees Take Down A Whole Bunch Of Brazilian Soccer Players
This footage comes from a semi-pro soccer match in Brazil from over the weekend. When the game started, it was just Corumbaense versus Itapora in front of pretty much no fans whatsoever. Then, the bodies started dropping. Play briefly continued until, at one point, there was one man standing. One ...

War Criminal To Advise FIFA On Compliance
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, newly re-installed FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has announced that that avatar of moral probity, Henry Kissinger, will advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body from his seat on a "committee of wise persons."...