Soccer Page 375 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
North Korea Lost To The US Because They Were Struck By Lightning, Says North Korea
In a truly bizarre press conference, North Korea's coach Kim Kwang Min had an excuse for his team's performance that...I don't think I've ever heard before....
Your Women's World Cup Open Thread
The U.S. women start their 2011 World Cup campaign today in Dresden, with an opening-round game against "mysterious" North Korea at 12:15pm. It will be aired on ESPN and ESPN3. Talk about it here, whether or not you played girls' club soccer in 1999 and had a prized ticket stub to the U.S.-Germany q...
The Most Stylish Way To Complete A Hat Trick
Remember this name: Souleymane Coulibaly (no pronunciation guide needed!) is a player for the Ivory Coast national team, and he has been scoring a lot of goals lately. His hat trick against Brazil yesterday gave the African squad a 3-3 tie and a place among the final 16 teams in the U-17 World Cup...
Your Gold Cup Finals Open Thread
At stake in tonight's Gold Cup final between the soccer teams of the United States of America and Mexico is a berth in the 2013 Confederation Cup. And bragging rights. And all that. Granted, the USA pretty much dominates El Tri in the land of the free, but Mexico's got itself a worthy side. Then a...
Here's China Losing Its Olympic Men's Soccer Bid On A Blown Call (Which Was Followed By A Humiliating Collapse)
Regrettably, the Chinese men's soccer team will not have a chance to follow up its 2008 Olympics performance—six goals against, one goal for, two red cards, one vicious episode of crotch-punching—with an appearance in London in 2012. The People's Republic was eliminated from the Asian Olympic qual...
Great-Grandmother Banned For Invading Leeds' Soccer Field Just Wanted To Tell Lads She Loved 'Em
Margaret Musgrove, a 63-year-old great-grandmother from West Yorkshire, has been banned from the Leeds United stadium after running onto the field at Elland Road in May. She is much cooler and possibly drunker than your great-grandmother:...
If You Want To Play Soccer In Australia, Please Remove Your Genital Piercings First
The Old Hill Wanderers would like to clear up the specifics in an incident that led to a red card in a game against Swinburne on June 19:...
"This Is A Great Day For Canada's Football," Says Canada Coach After Dumb Luck Delays Elimination Three More Days
I'm not sure what lessons we can learn from the U-17 World Cup (I hope none, because the US lost to Uzbekistan last night), but English goaltending looks like it'll be hopeless for the next couple of decades....
Maybe It's A Siberian Mining-Country Custom For 7-Foot Boxers To Play Soccer In "An Exotic Charity Event"
There's so much going on in this news report from Siberia that it's easy to forget that a 7-foot heavyweight boxer (Nikolay Valuev) is trying to play soccer against a 5-foot-7 footballer (Andrey Arshavin) for charity. But that's what it is, and here's why:...
Here's Video Of The Adu-To-Donovan-To-Dempsey Goal That Advanced The U.S. To The Gold Cup Final
With a 1-0 victory over Panama, the U.S. men's soccer team will face the winner of the upcoming Mexico/Honduras match in Houston. Yes, the Adu in the headline is Freddy, that not-quite-prodigy who Coach Bob Bradley inserted into the match in the 66th minute. And yes, both Adu's and Donovan's passe...
Here's Video Of A Rapscallion Getting Face Planted On The Chinese Soccer Pitch He Defiled
This video is titled "China Football Special Pretending Footballer hitting Referee 追打裁判." What more needs to be said? Nothing, that's what....
Your Gold Cup Semifinals Open Thread
It's Miércoles Gigante for los aficionados al fútbol in Houston tonight. First up, at 7 p.m., are the Americans who will try to avenge their June 11 upset loss to Panama. (They will.) Then, around 10 p.m., Mexico and Honduras will do battle for the right to advance to Saturday's Gold Cup finals ma...
Russia's Leading Scorer Tasered For Giving Jersey To A Fan, Then Police Deny It Ever Happened
Zenit St. Petersburg striker Danko Lazovic wanted to give some fans a meaningful souvenir—his shirt—after his team's 2-0 victory against FC Volga on Saturday. Instead, the Russian police decided to give him a meaningful burn on his side. Then they said it never happened, as you'll hear in the abov...
Clint Dempsey Is Casual And Cold-Blooded
When Clint Dempsey tried to walk the ball in against Guadeloupe, it was predictably disrupted, and he was predictably blasted for being too casual. It's a particularly biting critique for soccer, the one sport where we expect American athletes' effort to outpace their skill, rather than the other wa...
Watch A D.C. United Soccer Player Get Interviewed About His Balls
During halftime of last night's draw with Real Salt Lake, D.C. United defender Jed Zayner confirmed that his side would, in fact, need to "work our balls" off on defense. Then, the announcer inquired as to the state of Zayner's....
Your USA/Jamaica Gold Cup Quarterfinals Open Thread
The Gold Cup's knockout stage commences for Estados Unidos de América this afternoon. The Americans face a threatening Jamaica side that has some scared for Bob Bradley's coaching life, particularly since victory-bringers Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey were allowed to break away for family weddi...
Lionel Messi Attended The Sex And Alcohol Party For The Video Games
Lionel Messi has never really known a scandal in his young life, and so it is about time that the Argentinian tabloids create one for him: Libre reported this week that the 23-year-old had attended a party with "sexo, alcohol y cumbia." ESPN's Off The Ball blog has Messi's reaction to the accusation...
New Soccer Uniform Looks Great On Torso-less Players
The unveiling of a team's new kit is a summer tradition, and it's a cynical one. In the US, minor design changes are made and alternate jerseys introduced simply to spur fans to spend more money. In Europe, there's that, and there's a brand new sponsor to plaster across fans' chests....
Clint Dempsey Will Not Be Composing A Rap Song About This Moment
Your morning roundup for June 15, the day America finally got what it needed: more Fran Drescher....
Women Of The German National Soccer Team Endeavor To Show They Are Not "Butch" By Posing For <i>Playboy</i>
This may or may not be a good thing for women's sports:...