Soccer Page 389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carlos Tevez "Doesn’t Have The Balls" To Quit Argentina
Carlos Tevez has declared he is considering winding down his career—at the ripe old age of 26....

Zidane’s Son Enzo Could Reject France For Spain
French legend Zinedine Zidane has told press his son Enzo—full name Enzo Alan Zidane Fernandez—may opt for Spain when the time comes to choose his international career path....

Skittish Soccer Analyst Completes Self-Psych-Out
Retired German soccer player Mehmet Scholl has seen Sky Sports' Jessica Kastrop getting pegged with an errant ball one too many times it seems. In related news, "Scholl" is German for "the yips." [SI's Hot Clicks]...

Scotland Heroically Beat Giant Of Europe
Scotland needed a goal in the 7th minute of stoppage time to beat Liechtenstein, which has 20,000 fewer people in their entire country than were at Hampden Park for the match....

Finding A Silver Lining In Wayne Rooney’s Stupidity (NSFW)
If, like many of us, you met news of Wayne Rooney putting his gnarled willy inside some attention-seeking tart with a world-weary sigh, today probably hasn't been the most exciting day for football news (although it's made international week slightly more interesting.)...

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Tony Blair Turned To Sir Alex Ferguson For Advice
Much hullabaloo in the UK press at the moment over Tony Blair's recently published memoirs, in which, by all accounts, he comes across as a bit of an egotistical chap....

Breaking Down The Greatest Kick Ever, With Science
Roberto Carlos's free kick goal against France in 1997 is the stuff of legend. Some bored physicists, probably tired of looking for the Higgs boson, have figured out exactly how and why it happened....

Arsenal Midfielder Jack Wilshere Accused Of "Taking Upskirt Photos In Club"
This post, written by Richard Gilzene, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Thierry Henry And KISS Combine To Form The Most Bizarre Ticket Promotion Of The Month
Put "Strutter" on repeat and head to Dallas because for $40 you can see FC Dallas play New York and then come back two days later for KISS! One of the target audiences here probably feels insulted. [Press Coverage, pic too]...

TRANSFER FUCKING DEADLINE
Sigh. Right, you know the drill. Expect desolate shots of training ground gates, some unlucky chump standing in the pissing rain bringing you literally no news, and congregations of unemployed celebrating transfer coups....

Another Icelandic Goal Celebration, This Time With Toilet Humor
Our love for Stjarnan FC is well-documented, but we think their new "three-man toilet" routine is their best yet. We should also point out that they're just 10 points clear of relegation, so maybe work more on set pieces than celebrations....

Battered Sideline Reporter Soldiers On, Wears Helmet
Last week, the world laughed at Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop for getting knocked in the head with an errant soccer ball. So she took the necessary precautions against a repeat performance with the help of a funny looking helmet....

Here's A Soccer Player Getting His Shorts Tackled Off
Neymar may be the next in a long line of Brazilian soccer stars but for now he's just going to be known as the guy who lost his shorts during a game. [Dirty Tackle]...

Man Lights Rival Soccer Fan In Sheep Costume On Fire
The Hibernian supporter was playing with his lighter when the Aberdeen fan — in a homemade sheep costume — went up in flames. The weirdest part? This is the second such case in the UK this year....

New Juventus Signing Pays €10,000 To Make It To His First Training Session On Time
Being as it's Friday, footballers all over the planet are currently, or soon to be, preparing to spend the thousands of pounds/euros/dollars they've earned this week on getting up to no good....

Spurs Spank Young Boys 4-0
(Although one of The Spoiler's favourite was a piece of subtle brilliance from Sky Sports' Bill Leslie: "Young Boys struggle to keep clean sheets.")...

Panionios Fans Destroy Their Own Stadium To Stop Rivals AEK Athens Playing In It
Dundee United's Europa League clash with AEK Athens tomorrow night has been thrown into chaos after rival fans from Greek side Panionios G.S.S. smashed up their own stadium to prevent the game being held there....

Brazilian Referee Stabs Player To Death After Free-Kick Row
A Brazilian referee is on the run after fatally stabbing a player during a match in Barriera, northeast Brazil on Sunday....

Israeli Soccer Player Celebrates Goal By Putting On Yarmulke, Receives Yellow Card (CONTEXT UPDATE)
During a game against Austrian club FC Red Bull Salzburg, Hapoel Tel Aviv's Itay Shechter scored after a very nice run, proceeded to pull a yarmulke out of his sock, (apparently) said a prayer—and was immediately given a yellow card....