Soccer Page 398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bristol Man Gets All World Cup On His House’s Ass
The Spoiler has some experience of Knowle West in Bristol, thanks to a few years spent getting loaded on the taxpayer's buck back in the early 1990s. Great times....

World Cup Open Thread: South Africa-Uruguay
So, these two both played to draws in their respective first games. Uruguay shamed France, but "Bafana Bafana" is really fun to write, so let's root for them....

Which World Cup Coach Hit On Jemele Hill?
The sultry Ms. Hill had the moves put on her by a World Cup coach yesterday. She shut him down, but refuses to name the would-be Casanova. We look at the candidates....

World Cup Open Thread: Honduras-Chile
Day 6 kicks things off with two of the favorite countries of coup d'etat enthusiasts. Honduras's nickname, Los Catrachos, is based on a mispronunciation of the last name of a general who was the basis of a bizarre Ed Harris movie....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 15th
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Elizabeth Minett (A.K.A. Robert Green's Ex)
This is Elizabeth Minet. She's the ex-girlfriend of English goal keeper Robert Green and currently the scapegoat for the Cock-Up heard round the world. But what do we really know about her? Pictures and profile after the jump....

World Cup Open Thread: Brazil-North Korea
This one's not even going to be close, Brazil's going to show 'em what's what for kidnapping all those Japanese people....

World Cup Open Thread: Ivory Coast-Portugal
If Drogba plays, this might be the best game of we've had so far. If he doesn't, expect Cristiano Ronaldo's preening to be even more insufferable....

World Cup Open Thread: New Zealand-Slovakia
Here we go, Day 5. The unfortunately (and accurately?) named All Whites take on the mighty Fightin' Jondas of Slovakia. Who to root for? Hostel was set in Slovakia. That is all....

"If They Decide To Start Killing Us," The Young Afrikaner Said, "We Are Ready"
JOHANNESBURG — See this button? It's called a panic button. It was given to me by my hosts at a guesthouse in Johannesburg. If I press it, I was told, men with automatic weapons will appear and possibly spray the street with bullets in order to quell the panic....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 14
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner....

Yes, Soccer Is Gay
According to this report, from America's finest news source. [Onion Sports Network]...

World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....

U.S.A.-England Tie Given The Lego Treatment
Here's the Lego version of the U.S. England goal. You haven't lived until you've seen a Lego Robert Green lay down on a Lego soccer field in Lego shame. H/T Denton. [The Guardian, via Business Insider]...

Americans Still Coming To Terms With The Rules Of Victory
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup (Video)
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid....

World Cup Open Thread: Japan-Cameroon
Japan's captain Makoto Hasebe is reportedly fully healed from a back injury, but can he lead Samurai Blue past Internazionale badass Samuel Eto'o and the rest of the Indomitable Lions? Should be a sizzler, so comment below....

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Denmark
Day 4 kicks off with The Flying Dutchpersons taking on the very punny Olsen's Eleven while people the world over incorrectly point out which country is which on a map. Follow the consonant-filled action below....

World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Australia
The Ballack-less Mannschaft take on the adorably named Socceroos. Precision and efficiency or laid-back and hilarious accents, take your pick....

World Cup Open Thread: Algeria-Slovenia
Here we go, Day 3. The Desert Foxes take on the Fightin' Titos to see which team can save the most face before letting England and the U.S. advance to the knockout stages....