Soccer Page 411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
U.S. Striker Charlie Davies In Surgery After Serious Car Accident (UPDATE)
The national team's promising 23-year-old forward was apparently involved in this grim one-car accident along the George Washington Parkway, which ripped an SUV in half. One woman died at the scene. Davies' injuries are reportedly not life-threatening....
USA Wins FIFA!
Well, not really. But after a nailbiting 3-2 victory at Honduras, they are the first CONCACAF side to qualify for next summer's World Cup. Suck on that, Netherlands Antilles. [USSoccer.com]...
Of WAGs And Witchcraft
A Spanish "witch" came forward to say he was paid to put a curse on Cristiano Ronaldo, causing his recent ankle injury. Suspect number one in the Spanish press: a jilted Paris Hilton. [Sport]...
The Deadspin Pub Opens For Chelsea and Liverpool
Chelsea and Liverpool are set to kick off the weekend's spotlight match at Stamford Bridge. Elsewhere Real Madrid faces their toughest test to date in La Liga against Sevilla....
Suddenly An Expiring CBA Doesn't Seem So Bad
Short of money, Irish Premier League Team Cork City were only able to travel to an away game after local businessmen raised money to pay their bus fare. Gary Bettman is considering relocating them to Albuquerque. [Evening Herald]...
Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....
Finally, Objective Proof That Referees Favor Manchester United
Imagine if every time the Yankees lost, the umps decided to play a 10th inning. That's what's happening in England, with (obviously) Man U being the beneficiary of some super-shady timekeeping....
Another Life Ruined By Soccer Antics
If a Nigerian soccer player promises you a roster spot in exchange for doing him "one small favor," it's probably a good idea to walk away—especially if that favor involves smuggling 500g of heroin into India. [Unprofessional Foul]...
Spanish Soccer Club Whipped Into Shape By Man-Eating Grizzly Bear
Spain's Real Valladolid teaching it's newest training partner the basics of soccer, including how to take a convincing dive when you're a 400 lb killing machine. [The Spoiler]...
And You Thought Your Favorite Player Had A Bad Game
Seconds after scoring an own goal, a Czech soccer player suffered a fatal heart attack on the field. So cut your guys a little slack if they go 0-5 tonight. [AFP via Dirty Tackle]...
Chelsea Banned From Signing Players Until 2010 2011
The two-transfer-window ban is for illegally poaching a young midfielder from his Ligue 1 team. Which is funny, because messing around with a French teenager is exactly how Tony Parker got in trouble, too. [Guardian]...
Rough Hit Destroys Belgian Soccer Player's Lower Leg
Speaking of horrible below-the-knee shots, our squeamish readers should avert their eyes from Axel Witsel's challenge on Marcin Wasilewski. And by "challenge" I mean "dividing his lower leg into two distinct pieces." Take a moment to compose yourself....
Player-Coach Leads Team To Championship While Pregnant
Sky Blue FC won the first Women's Professional Soccer League championship last weekend, but didn't find out until the champagne celebration that their coach-slash-captain, Christie Rampone, is three months pregnant. No, she didn't play barefoot....
Slumping Team Tries New Motivational Tactic: Guns
When a reader sends you a tip with the subject line "More dysfunctional team than the Mets," you have to open it. So of course the story involves a soccer team's executives threatening the players with guns after a loss....
West Ham And Millwall Bringing Back Old School Hooliganism
If you're one of those people who thinks that soccer exists only to support bottle-throwing riots, you're not alone. Supporters of rival London clubs were apparently way more interested in stabbing each other than watching their last game....
What Soccer Needs Is More Kicks To The Face
Bolivian soccer has it figured out. When an opposing player elbows you during a fight for the ball, don't take a wailing, overdramatic dive. Just wait until halftime and then give him a flying boot to the head....
Return Of the Deadspin Pub
The pub reopens on the heels of Jozy Altidore's inspired Premier League debut in the season's second weekend. Read on for yesterday's results and today's featured match, the West London derby between Chelsea and Fulham....
Punching A Crippled Child Will Not Get Your Soccer Ball Back
A 23-year-old woman in a dispute over a soccer ball with a wheelchair-bound 13-year-old boy at a children's hospital, slugged him right in the medical halo that was screwed into his skull. That's at least a yellow card, right? [DMN]...