Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

This clip may be somewhat off topic, but you know what? I don't care. Because it's been gnawing at my brain now for nearly 48 hours, like a game of tetris where all you get are the long, L-shaped pieces and nothing fits, and why should I be the only one to suffer? It's from the Teen Miss USA Pageant, showing Miss South Carolina making less sense than a midget in a David Lynch movie. The wise Dr. Sussman first presented this on Sunday, and for this I will never forgive him. God ... someone get Lauren Caitlin Upton out of my head!

Here's a version with subtitles, as if that will help.

Teen Miss USA Pageant [YouTube]


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