St. Louis Cardinals Release Statement Announcing That Giancarlo Stanton Has Owned Them

Ken Rosenthal reported Thursday that baseball murderer Giancarlo Stanton will not waive his no-trade clause for the Giants or Cardinals. (The Astros and Cubs remain in the mix, albeit behind the Yankees and Dodgers.) Stanton’s refusal to go to St. Louis wasn’t a hypothetical one, according to the Cardinals.

The team put out a passive-aggressive statement this afternoon claiming that they had a trade with the Marlins in place, only for Stanton to nix it. “Unfortunately we were not able to convince Stanton to waive his no-trade clause and join the Cardinals,” team president John Mozeliak wrote. “We felt this was a great landing spot for him, but it was not meant to be.”

A tough break for Stanton, as he’ll miss out on playing for the Cardinals and will have to settle for a better team in a better city.