16 Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Holy Shit, Christen Press's First Touch Will Make Your Knees Buckle
Oh my god look at this first touch from Christen Press. She doesn’t just expertly control a cross whipped into her, but no-look uses the outside of her foot (her heel?!) to gently drop the ball just a few feet in beside her to wheel around and smash home. It should be illegal to be this skilled and ...
Rand Paul Was Always Bullshit
Rand Paul dropped out of the Republican presidential campaign after he came up shy of five percent in the Iowa caucus. This must have been a tremendous disappointment to ... well, nobody....
Bernie Sanders Is On Fire ... From One Specific Spot On The Floor
Killing time before votes from the New Hampshire primary started trickling in, Bernie Sanders showed off some of the skill that helped his Brooklyn elementary school win the borough championship. I’d make a joke here, but that’s bigger than any basketball accomplishment I have....
Gregg Popovich Is Dismayed With The New Hampshire Primary Results
Gregg Popovich gave his usual surly in-game interview, but then David Aldridge asked a question that intrigued him: did Pop want to know the results of tonight’s primaries in New Hampshire? Yes, yes he did....
Farewell To Viral Internet Man Rick Santorum
Once upon a time, Rick Santorum was an ambitious young legislator whose considerable oratorical skills and policy fluency existed in unsteady balance with social views that make St. Paul look like Aleister Crowley. Now he is a slang term for the frothy mix of lube and shit that sometimes is a byprod...
GOP Candidates Offer Super Bowl Predictions In Meaningless, Waste-Of-Time Debate Question
Tonight’s GOP primary debate in New Hampshire has succeeded despite itself as candidates attack each other while ABC moderators stand by, barely acknowledging their non-answers to the question prompts. One of those questions? “Who’s going to win tomorrow’s Super Bowl?” (None of the candidates offere...
Is DeRay's Run For Mayor The Next Step For Black Lives Matter?
Wednesday night, just minutes before the deadline, the 30-year-old civil rights activist DeRay Mckesson filed to run for mayor of his hometown of Baltimore, and, in coordination with the The Baltimore Sun, Washington Post, and The New York Times, announced his campaign on Medium. The announcement, w...
Mike Huckabee's Campaign Charade Is Over, So That His Other Charades Might Continue
Driving south on Interstate 95 through Maryland, eventually you come to the I-495 interchange near College Park. If you stay on I-95, then for the next little while, you also are on I-495, the Capital Beltway; the routes are concurrent, sharing the same physical road. Farther along, in Springfield, ...
Martin O'Malley, A Stock Photo Of A Handsome Man, Ends His Presidential Bid
Generic man Martin O’Malley ended his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination last night. The Iowa caucus was rough on the former Baltimore mayor and Maryland governor: Once poll-workers sorted out the caucus-goers who thought they were standing in line to get their photo taken with “tha...
Olympic Marathon Trials: The Victory Lap For Pretty Darn Good Runners
Of the 259 women and 217 men who qualified for the U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials, only about 10 in each field have an honest chance at finishing in the top three and going to Rio. But hundreds or even thousands more arranged the past four years of their lives around running a marathon or half-maratho...
A Broncos Pass Rusher Tried To Rub His Dong And Balls In Tom Brady's Face
The Denver Broncos went into Sunday’s AFC Championship game with a clear mission: Hit Tom Brady as many times as possible, and send the all-world quarterback running for his life. Thanks to The MMQB’s Robert Klemko, we know the Broncos’ intimidation campaign was mental as well as physical....
Do's And Don'ts Of Blizzard Survival, From A Snowed-In Dumbass
The thing to know is, we are still snowed in. The first flakes came down around lunchtime on Friday; the last, late on Saturday night. It’s Tuesday now, and we’re still snowed in. My kids can’t even remember what it’s like to interact with other humans....
Thomas Davis Breaks Arm, Vows To Play In Super Bowl Anyway
If there was a gloomy moment for the Panthers during their destruction of the Cardinals in the NFC Championship game, it was when linebacker Thomas Davis left the field with his right arm immobilized by the training staff. The injury, a broken arm, turned out to be as bad as it looked, but Davis sai...
This Snowstorm Sure Looks Like Something
Please remember New York City during the upcoming storm....
You Don’t Scare Me, Snow
By now, you are probably aware that the East Coast is about to get murdered with 50 tons of acid methane snow over the weekend. You know this because people who live on the East Coast believe that their weather is EVERYONE’S weather....
Deshaun Watson Deserved Better
It’s not right to call any part of Alabama’s 45-40 victory in last night’s national championship game fluky, but there’s no denying that they were carried to the win by precisely the kind of wild, momentum-swinging plays that we usually see buoying an underdog’s chances. ‘Bama was of course the favo...
Trump Endorses Brain Damage In Speech That Claims Football, Like America, Has Gone "Soft"
Donald Trump ranted at length today during a Reno campaign stop about how “soft” he believes the game of football has become, pointing to last night’s Steelers-Bengals game as an illustration of how player-safety rules are ruining America....
Nobody Is Paying The Electric Bill At One Of Rio's Olympic Stadiums
Add this to the pile of problems already arisen around the 2016 Summer Olympics, due to start in Rio de Janeiro in a few months: The power has been shut off at the stadium meant to host the track and field competitions, and nobody can decide who’s going to pay to turn it back on....
You Know Who Should Run For President? George Pataki
I mean, if the guy could get elected governor of New York as a Republican, he could be a heckuva candi—...