16 Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Your Ridiculously Early 2016 Oscar Preview
The next Academy Awards will be hosted by Chris Rock and will be held on February 28, 2016. That is 130 days from now. By then, the Iowa caucus, and the New Hampshire and South Carolina primaries, will be over. The Super Bowl will be a fading memory. Selection Sunday will be two weeks away. It is a ...
Happy Trails Jim Webb, You Shiny-Eyed Jackanape
Jim Webb ended his presidential campaign yesterday. “Presidential” looks weird in that sentence, doesn’t it? Wait ... he was campaigning for President?...
Kevin Johnson Will Not Run For Third Term As Sacramento Mayor
Kevin Johnson announced late Tuesday that he won’t be running for a third term as mayor of Sacramento. ...
2016 Presidential Campaign Merch, Ranked
From $1,000 copies of the Constitution to $75 guacamole bowls to “Grillary Clinton” aprons, the world of presidential campaign merchandise is a strange one, and nowhere is that clearer than on the internet, where some of our illustrious candidates have launched merch stores that come in every degree...
Kevin Johnson Wants Certain People To Not Talk About Kevin Johnson
It’s no secret that Kevin Johnson wants certain girls and women to keep what they have to say about him to themselves. Some of what the former NBA superstar and current scandal-magnet mayor of Sacramento, Calif. is willing to do to convince them is well-known; some less so. The more that comes to li...
No, Seriously, Dissolve The United States
Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Navy, a Republican Senator, and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar. Bartender looks them over and says, “Christ, this is 60 percent of the Democratic presidential campaign field? You motherfuckers make Richard Nixon look like Leon Trotsky.” Then Jim Webb knifes him, bec...
Curt Schilling Has A Democratic Debate Take For You
There will be a lot of takes on tonight’s Democratic debate. Here’s the one that matters....
Jeb Bush Says He Didn't Smoke Weed With Bill Belichick
Clay Travis of Fox Sports had a conversation with Jeb Bush that I don’t care to know more about, other than the part where he asked Bush if he smoked weed with Bill Belichick in high school. So, Jeb, did you ever light one up with Belichick? Ever smoked on that gas? Waked and baked? Celebrated 4:20?...
Fox Sports Humiliates America With Horrible USMNT Promo
Remember when a Mexican TV station used Donald Trump, a mass of whoopie cushions and mashed potatoes inhabited by a chaos demon, to troll the USMNT ahead of tomorrow’s game against Mexico? That was pretty good! They got us! Today, Fox tried to clap back with a promo video of its own:...
Remembering The Tour De Trump, Donald Trump's Failed Bike Race
Donald Trump, a talking tube of bronzer, is a man of leisure and failed investments. Right around the end of the 1980s, he expanded with a truly catastrophic series of investments which led him to declare his first of four corporate bankruptcies in 1991. There was Trump Airlines, Trump: The Game, an...
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
Marco Rubio's Boy Kinda Punched Rand Paul's Boy In The Face Last Night
Politics, like rap music, is sports. In the throes of competition, tempers flare as the blood gets hot. There’s always some beef. Sometimes, separate parties arrive at blows. Rarely, there’s even gunplay. Within that context, allow us to direct you to the bestest beef of them all, between aides to R...
Richard Sherman And Michael Bennett Are Having A Serious Public Debate On Black Lives Matter
Over the past few days, two Seahawks have publicly offered differing opinions on the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality, poverty, and a host of related issues. In the usually anodyne world of athlete press conferences, it’s really something....
Dissolve The United States
They are all insane people. Even poor, stressed-out, occasionally lucid-seeming John Kasich: bonkers. Pathology is contextual, and one simply does not bring reasonable takes like Actually, the deal with Iran is okay, provided we do the diligence of enforcing it, just like pretty much every other dea...
Welcome To Deadspin's Republican Debate Liveblog
Tonight’s Republican presidential debate takes place at the Ronald Reagan Library, where the top 11 candidates will discuss foreign policy, domestic issues, and probably Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teenager who was arrested for bringing his homemade clock to school earlier this week. Loony-toon Donald...
Venezuela Beats Canada On Sketchy Foul Call, Qualifies For Olympics
Canada has NBAers like Andrew Wiggins, Kelly Olynyk, and Corey Joseph on its roster, while I can almost guarantee you’ve never heard of anybody on Venezuela’s. But when the two teams met in the semifinals of the FIBA Americas tournament in Mexico City last night, it was Venezuela who prevailed 79-78...
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Deez Nuts: The Day Every Local News Station Got BOFA'd
The news about North Carolinians’ thirst for Deez Nuts forced local news operations across the country to cover the story of everyone’s favorite fake presidential candidate. So here’s a supercut of baffled TV anchors saying “Deez Nuts.” ...