2 Page 331 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Check Out The Cool Things Qatar's Slaves Will Build For The World Cup!
We could rightly be accused of focusing almost exclusively on the negatives coming from the corrupt, morally-deplorable, slavery-fueled, death-riddled, yet inevitable 2022 World Cup set to be hosted in Qatar, so let’s take a change of tack today. Instead of worrying about that nasty business, let’s ...
Report: Sepp Blatter Too Afraid Of The FBI To Enter The United States
Slavery-enabler Sepp Blatter might actually be facing consequences for how FIFA awarded the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids to Russia and Qatar. ESPN’s investigative newsmagazine show, E:60, debuted an hour-long documentary on Blatter tonight, and reports that he is so fearful of an FBI investigation i...
Anderson Silva Petitioning To Compete In Taekwondo At The Olympics
Troll King Anderson Silva is petitioning the Brazilian federation to allow the MMA fighter to compete in his original discipline, taekwondo, at the Rio Olympics in 2016. As the host nation, Brazil will have four guaranteed slots in the event, and Silva will meet with the Brazilian sport chief this ...
Qatar Forced A Bunch Of Migrant Workers To Run A Marathon
Not only is the Qatari government killing scores of (let’s not mince words) slaves in order to build the infrastructure necessary to host the 2022 World Cup, it also forced a bunch of them to participate in a state-sponsored “megamarathon” in an attempt to set a dopey Guinness World Record. Many of ...
2 Chainz Is The Atlanta Hawks MVP
In 2012, when soon-to-be-doomed Atlanta Hawks co-owner Bruce Levenson tried to guess why home attendance was down, he found one unlikely culprit: rap music. The Hawks needed to draw white males ages 33 to 55, as he wrote in an infamous email to General Manager Danny Ferry. And while Levenson, a ne...
Zlatan Uses Powerful Hypnosis To Force Keeper Into Shocking Mistake
Some sort of devious eye magic only known by the most learned of warlocks is the only rational explanation for why Moldova's keeper decided to play an inch-perfect cross off of Zlatan Ibrahimović's forehead for the Swede to redirect into the goal (warning: autoplay video):...
Harry Kane Scores In His International Debut, Is Soon To Be Crowned King
All week leading up to today's England-Lithuania Euro 2016 Qualifier, the only thing anyone could talk about was Harry Kane. Will he start? Should he start? Where will he play? How do we make more of him? Coming into the match, you'd have thought the season's Premier League breakout star would get e...
![Russian Goalkeeper Takes A Flare To The Back Of His Head [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/b1vrgcsgmfyluojzwwj4.gif)
Russian Goalkeeper Takes A Flare To The Back Of His Head [UPDATE]
In today's Euro 2016 qualifier between Montenegro and Russia, a flare from the stands hit Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev in the head. Ouch. Here's another look:...
Local Beer Is Great, But Fresh Beer Is Better
I'm lukewarm on most traditional holidays, the ones that require shopping and showering and dancing around maypoles and/or respectful disbelief in the supernatural; some of these holidays come with ham and presents, but even then the risks can outweigh the rewards. I still consider myself a joyous...
This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals
When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. Th...
How To Score Weed
So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You’re cool, and you’ve come to the right place (within the wrong place). It’s not that hard to score bud with the right am...
Oklahoma Tops Kansas On Last Second, High-Flying Tip-In
Kansas already clinched their 11th straight Big 12 regular season title, but they could've done without this gut punch from Oklahoma on the final day of the regular season. Oklahoma dumbly fouled Frank Mason III on a three-point attempt with five seconds left, and he made all three free throws to ...
2 Chainz Is A Good Instagram Dad
So 2 Chainz is a rapper who changed his name from Tity Boi to be more family-friendly. Which is funny, and also not all that weird, when you think about both how much he wants to sell records and how much he loves his two daughters, Heaven and Harmony. If Instagram counted in real life, the Atlanta ...
Good News! You Can Go To Vegas Right Now And Bet On The 2016 Olympics
The bad news: You'll be in Las Vegas....
FIFA Takes 2021 Confederations Cup Away From Qatar
In a tough-yet-fair decision by an organization known for them, FIFA has decided to strip Qatar of hosting privileges for the 2021 Confederations Cup. In explaining the group's reasoning, FIFA secretary general Jérôme Valcke revealed something no one had previously considered: Qatari summers are way...
How To Pick The Perfect Engagement Ring Without Selling Your Kidneys
Shopping for an engagement ring has got to be one of the most angst-ridden things a grown-ass man can go through. Between worrying about the correct sizing, decoding the "one-sixth of your annual salary" thing, and, you know, trying to find a style that your soul mate will want to wear for the res...
Even The Big European Powers Can't Stop The Winter World Cup In Qatar
As the tides of progress surge on, even Europe realizes its powerlessness in the face of Qatar's insistence on making the 2022 World Cup the first to be held in the winter, thus wrecking the domestic leagues' seasons. Our last hope for sanity to prevail—a defiant UEFA protecting its own highly-profi...
For Your Consideration
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J.K. Simmons Uses Oscar Win To Promote Calling Your Parents
As expected, J.K. Simmons took home the Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance in Whiplash. Simmons's acceptance speech was simple and yet memorable, simply because he told a worldwide audience to call—"Don't text, don't email, call"—a parent, if they have any living ones remaining. ...
Oscar 2015 Predictions: The Categories You Actually Care About
The Oscars are Sunday! Wednesday, to help you out with your pool, Tim Grierson made predictions in all the technical categories; yesterday, Drew Magary yelled a lot. Today, we both unveil our picks for the eight major categories: you know, the ones you actually care about. Let's get to it....