2012 Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Drunken Irishman Can't Find The Porta-Potty At Euro 2012
It is impossible to watch this video and not find yourself actively rooting for the Ireland fan to successfully locate and open a portable toilet in Poznan. The European Championship is truly awash in human drama. [Total Pro Sports, via SportsGrid]...
Mario Balotelli Doesn't Do Thing
Italy have a few days off before their quarterfinal match, so the team is trying a little bit of everything in training. Yesterday's session included some yoga, which, to be fair, does sound a little new-agey for Balotelli. He's more a "blow stuff up in your bathroom" sort of guy. Mario's level of p...
Adidas Is Having A Supremely Awkward Olympic Season
Yesterday, Adidas gave into to public pressure and shelved its proposed JS Roundhouse Mid, a new sneaker with an accompanying plastic shackle. Adidas is a flagship sponsor for the 2012 Olympics in London—they're even making Team Great Britain's uniforms—and they didn't want to spark an uproar....
How Colorado Springs (And A Former Cold War Tactical Room) Became The Home Of The United States Olympic Committee
Fast Company published a fascinating article today, which details how the United States Olympic Committee came to make its home in Colorado Springs, Colo., after winning control over amateur Olympic athletes from the NCAA and Amateur Athletic Union. It's worth a read, especially for all you Olympip...
The 2012 Gawker Media Census Results Are In
You might have noticed that over the past few weeks we've been bugging you to take the 2012 Gawker Media Census. Well, try not to cry too hard, but the most exciting survey on the whole World Wide Web has come to a close. We learned all sorts of fun facts about the 1,553 Deadspin fans who responded...
Olympics Field Guide: Holley Mangold, Nick Mangold's Window-Busting Superhuman Sister
Name: Holley Mangold...
If You Are A Journalist, Ukraine's Soccer Coach Will Fight You
Ukraine head coach Oleg Blokhin, who's something of a soccer legend in Russia, really wanted to beat the shit out of some journalists today, after his squad lost 1-0 to England and was eliminated from Euro 2012. What made the day worse for Blokhin was that Ukraine appeared to score in the 63rd min...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Has Scored The Goal Of Euro 2012 Thus Far With An Astounding Volley
The Swedes are eliminated from qualifying for the knockout round, but it didn't stop them from reveling in Zlatan Ibrahimović's astounding goal to put Sweden up 1-0 on France in today's Group D match....
Usain Bolt Crashes BMW Into Guard Rail, Jamaica Responds With Shitstorm Of Disapproval
Usain Bolt is "the most naturally gifted athlete the world has ever seen," according to Usain Bolt. But while the Jamaican sprinter has certainly been blessed by the gods of speed and victory, it seems he missed the lottery for skills typically associated with mere mortals. Like humility, for starte...
Mario Balotelli Didn't Start Today's Match, Scored A Wondergoal Anyway
It proved meaningless in the competition—Italy was headed to the Euro 2012 quarterfinals anyway—but Mario Balotelli's goal in the 90th minute of today's Group C bout between the Azzurri and Ireland warrants our consideration regardless....
To UEFA, Wrong Underwear Far Worse Than Fan Racism
Know this: UEFA is very protective of its sponsors. (Here are the Euro 2012 sponsors, soulless corporations all, and you should avoid their products for the remainder of the tournament. Except possibly Ukrsotsbank PJSC.) Paddy Power, the Irish bookmaker, is just as corporate and just as interested i...
At Euro 2012, No Place For English Optimism Or Swedish Sobriety
KIEV, Ukraine—The English did not come to Kiev in droves. According to a few of them who milled about before the match with Sweden, their countrymen stayed away for two reasons: 1) The fear of racism and violence, fueled by the BBC's sensationalist Stadiums of Hate documentary, and 2) an unflinching...
A Reminder That Everything About The Olympics Is Always Corrupt
Forget the NCAA—the biggest amateur athletics scam going is the Olympic Games. The best sportsmen, sportswomen, and sportschildren in the world, all conveniently paid in "glory" and "pride" instead of money. And the Games make money, plenty of it. But a host city has never once shown a profit. So in...
Ukraine Solves Its Alcoholic Bear Problem Just In Time For Euro 2012 (Also, Ukraine Had A Problem With Alcoholic Bears)
Some of you may not know this, but Ukraine has a bit of a problem with drunk bears. They call them "vodka bears" because they were given vodka and forced to dance as a means of entertainment at local hotels and restaurants. Last August, efforts were made to stop the practice, but now I guess they h...
Danny Welbeck's Brilliant Back-Heel Volley Brought England From Behind To Beat Sweden 3-2
Sweden's Euro 2012 dream is over thanks to Theo Walcott & Danny Welbeck's work late in today's match....
Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...
Today's Ukraine-France Match Is Delayed Because God Is Angry
Hellfire is raining in Donetsk, where the Euro 2012 Ukraine-France match is delayed due to heavy rain and lightning, some of which appears here to have attempted to find its way inside the stadium. (That ain't sunlight.) Clearly Thor is angry Norway failed to qualify....
Thousands Of Irish Soccer Fans Sing Their Team Off After A Crushing Defeat
Ireland got thrashed by Spain today, 4-0, in the second match of the group stage, but the loyal Irish faithful that flew into Gdansk for the match nonetheless sang their team off the pitch with a rousing rendition of "The Fields of Athenry" in the waning moments. It's basically like a couple thous...
Olympics Field Guide: Chris Hoy, The Incredible Hulk Of Track Cycling
Name: Chris Hoy...
Swedish Team In Trouble After Bare-Assed Game Of "Butts Up"
In my schoolyard it was called "butts up." In yours, it might have been "asses up," "wallball," "red ass," "suicide," but the game is the same, and taps in to the primal center of young boys' brains. It's essentially handball, but the first one to run up a certain number of "outs" must lean against ...