5 Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...

Unemployed Wide Receiver: If I Was LeBron, I'd Be An Employed Wide Receiver
Let's be honest: Cleveland wasn't The Decision's biggest victim. Terrell Owens was. Don't believe me? Just interrupt Terrell Owens from his driveway sit-ups regimen and ask Terrell Owens yourself. That's what 104.5 The Zone radio in Nashville did the other day. For its 3 Hour Lunch....

Your Indy 500 Open Thread
Cars! Left turns! Indianpolis! ABC! Danica! Helio! VROOM VROOM VROOM...

It Appears 50 Cent Went On His Own Public Humiliation Diet
Mr. Cent went from a jacked 214 lbs. to 160 in nine weeks to play a cancer-stricken football player in "Things Fall Apart." It does not mention if he drank a fuckload of green tea. (H/T Gillin.) [ThisIs50]...

Why Did Fans Boo Danica Patrick At Indy 500 Qualifying?
Helio Castroneves won the pole for next Sunday's Indy 500. But the real story out of qualifying yesterday was Danica getting lustily booed by the crowd. Let's posit some explanations....

It's Professional Naked Lady Bobblehead Night
The Las Vegas 51s gave away bobbleheads of Holly Madison, the number one gal in Hugh Hefner's harem. A bobblehead? I can't masturbate to that. [Rick Chandler]...

Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Potholes Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NASCAR drivers who now know how the rest of the world lives. Except we don't get to take off work because of bad roads....

Pothole Alert!
The Daytona 500 has been delayed for the past, oh, 90 minutes or so, while they try to repair the track. But what does this have to do with Danica Patrick?!...

Daytona 500 Open Thread
If your Valentine's Day is going to involve rubbin', it might as well involve racin'. And an open thread! Watch the Great American Race, and tell us about all the left turns in the comments....

A.J., Call Your Mother.
Bad news, unapproved commenters: this is the last post of the night from us. DUAN is how you say it?...

Thug Life: Marv Albert Says There's No Beef With 50 Cent
What sounded like one of the most bizarre fights since Axl Rose attacked karate-chopping fashion mogul Tommy Hilfiger, longtime NBA announcer Marv Albert told the Dan Patrick show that he "never crossed paths" with angry rapper 50 Cent. [DPShow]...

Showing Signs: Marv Albert And 50 Cent Now Have Beef
Marv Albert appeared on Wednesday's ¡Jimmy Kimmel Live! So did 50 Cent. This encounter could end in only one way: with fisticuffs....

As If Skirt Chasing Wasn't Competitive Enough Already
A "5k race series bringing fitness, beer and flirting together," in which the women get a 3-minute head start and the men take off in pursuit, is called — yes, the SkirtChaser5K. Paging Jezebel. [RandBall]...

Stephen A. Smith Heroically Returns To Philly Radio
Stephen A. Smith is back in Philadelphia media, taking a part-time gig at 950 AM97.5 the Fanatic in Philadelphia to go along with his politically-subversive talking head appearances on CNN and MSNBC....

The 2009 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
This week’s Deadcast guest is Spencer Hall, chairman of the fully armed and operational Every Day Should Be Saturday. (Listen here, iTunes here.) This week’s mission? WE BE HATIN’....

Aural Secs: Bolt's 9.58 Explained With Music
How fast is 9.58 seconds? Watch this video. I think you'll understand....

Joe Montana Single-Handedly Keeping The Collectible Card Market Alive
A "pristine" Joe Montana rookie card sold at auction for a record $65,000. Of course, if you knew what the guy who bought it had to do to earn that money, you wouldn't call it pristine. [Beckett Blog]...

A Stroll Through The Infield At Indy
In Detroit, I lost a rental car for six hours. In Miami, I left all of my clothes in the hotel dresser. Since I was bringing a "photographer" to the Indy 500, there would be little chance of me leaving something behind. Unfortunately, he lost his camera....

Of Screeching Tires And Lost Control
I've been told by many people that the Indy 500 was quite the spectacle at one time. Though its popularity has dwindled and, admittedly, I know about as I do Hungarian cabinet making, I'll be flying down to Indianapolis this weekend in search of greatness....