6 Page 100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
At Least Kobe Bryant Has A Sense Of Humor About All Of This
The NBA has never really seen anything like what Kobe Bryant is doing right now. After shooting 7-for-26 in a loss to the godawful Sixers last night (he shot 4-of-17 from three, for chrissakes!), Kobe’s season statistics are just about the grimmest thing you’ll ever see. He’s currently shooting 30 p...
Fake NBA Team Beats Fake NBA Team For Sad First Win
The Los Angeles Lakers’ 2-14 unstoppable suck came up against the Philadelphia 76ers’ 0-18 unmovable wall of shit in Philadelphia Tuesday night. Something had to give, and on this night it was the Lakers, who despite the better record are probably the worse team, and lost 103-91....
Jahlil Okafor Lays Bare One Of The Flaws With The Process
Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. The saying isn’t actually true—many of the best things happen after midnight, in fact—but it’s a mantra Jahlil Okafor would’ve done well to internalize over the past two mont...
Report: Jahlil Okafor Had A Gun Pulled On Him Outside A Club In October
According to a report from CSNPhilly.com, Sixers rookie big man Jahlil Okafor had a gun pulled on him last month outside of a Philadelphia club. They talked to witnesses, who described a scene wherein Okafor tried to punch someone sitting in the driver’s seat of a parked car, followed by one of the ...
76ers' Jahlil Okafor Involved In Boston Street Fight
Footage from TMZ appears to show Philadelphia 76ers rookie Jahlil Okafor involved in a skirmish on the streets of Boston late last night....
A Treasure Trove Of Very Sad 76ers
The Philadelphia 76ers, now in year three of their shameless rebuild, are 0-15. Playing for an 0-15 team that ranks dead last in points per game and leads the league in turnovers can’t be much fun, so it’s no surprise that 76ers Players Looking Really Sad has started to become an internet genre of s...
The Sixers' Latest Master Plan: Playing With Six Men
The winless Philadelphia 76ers were down by nine to the Pacers Wednesday night. Intentionally or not, six Sixers walked onto the court. That’s not allowed....
Bobby Jindal, Obsequious Twerp, Simpers The Fuck Out
Bobby Jindal will no longer pursue the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He also will not pursue Alpha Centauri, or growing a second head out of his left shoulder, or the Elder Wand. Dogs will not shoot lasers from their eyes. The sun will not be a showerhead that sprays grapefruit juice. Man...
Zlatan Kills Denmark On The Field, Then Torches Them With Sick Burn
This version of Zlatan Ibrahimović is older and worse than the one we loved and feared. Not that a little thing like age could keep him from stomping out Denmark on his way to qualifying for Euro 2016, and dancing over the body in an interview after....
IAAF Suspends Russia From International Competitions
When the World Anti-Doping Agency published its damning report accusing Russia of running a state-sponsored doping program for international athletes, it asked the International Association of Athletics Federation to ban Russian track and field athletes from international competitions. Today, the IA...
The Only Rule Is Refusal: A Song For Rand Paul
By the end of last night’s debate, Rand Paul had been reduced to smirking and reciting the Real Fiscal Conservatism rulebook—You can’t spend trillions on the military and be a real conservative, so are you a real conservative?—like a five-year-old who’d caught a playmate in the irreconcilable though...
![NJ Devils Owner's Helicopter Parks On Soccer Field, Cancels Youth Game [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1514577608354769038.jpg)
NJ Devils Owner's Helicopter Parks On Soccer Field, Cancels Youth Game [Update]
A youth soccer game at Saint Benedict’s Preparatory School in Newark, N.J., was called off Sunday night after a helicopter touched down in the middle of the pitch and stayed there. This was no emergency landing, however: the vehicle was there to pick up Josh Harris, billionaire owner of the New Jers...
President Of German Soccer Association Resigns Amid World Cup Bribery Scandal
DFB President Wolfgang Niersbach has resigned from his post today. While he’s maintained his and his organization’s innocence amid allegations that German soccer officials bought votes in order to win World Cup hosting rights in 2006, Niersbach has decided to take “political responsibility” for the ...
Larry David Makes <i>SNL</i> Return To Play Bernie Sanders Again
Cranky human Larry David reprised his role of a lifetime on Saturday Night Live tonight, and since you enjoyed his turn as Vermont senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders last time, we’ll let you argue about how great/awful his impression is down there in the comments again....
Big Fat Fabulist Ben Carson's West Point Story Is Bogus
Republican presidential candidate and hip-hop impresario Ben Carson is full of beans. Possibly he is as much as 82-percent beans! His tales of youthful violence keep changing, his Mannatech disavowal was bogus on its face, and now his story of receiving a full scholarship to the U.S. Military Academ...
A More Honest Version Of Ben Carson's Rap Campaign Ad
As we noted earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson has a rap campaign ad. We found the ad lacking a bit in some of the neurosurgeon’s more intellectual observations, though, and so we made him a new version....
Ben Carson Made A Rap Song For The Blacks
With the 2016 election now just a year away, presidential campaigns are finally getting down to serious business. As Barack Hussein Obama proved seven years back, there are oodles of black people in this country, and some even vote. The blacks are a valuable constituency, so it behooves each preside...
VOTE MARV BUSH 2016
It has been a lousy month for Jeb Bush, gang. He’s running out of cash. His polls numbers are in the shitter. He spends a lot of time now tending to his email. And he appears to be publicly melting into a puddle of tepid lip-sweat before our very eyes, if this tweet is to be believed....
Sad Jeb Bush Is Just Sitting Up At Night, Waiting To Chat About Football With You
Jeb Bush, the former frontrunner for the Republican Presidential nomination, may have finally hit rock bottom. Fresh off his piss-baby performance at the last debate, Jeb has now transformed into your sad uncle who just wishes that he heard from the kids more often....