a Page 7368 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sitting Duck: LeGarrette Blount Done At Oregon
Fistic running back LeGarrette Blount has been suspended for the rest of the season, ending his career at Oregon. Meanwhile, an NFL scouting director tells ESPN that Blount is now "completely undraftable." [The Oregonian, ESPN]...

Spend The Weekend With Gourmet Spud
Yes, fans, the photo above is the mysterious Gourmet Spud of the brilliant Food Court Lunch. A helpful tipster spotted him in the canned goods aisle at a WalMart near Banff. He was buying 40 cans of Kirkland salmon....

SEIUbermetrics
"In a comparison between [MLB] teams with home stadiums that use Aramark and teams with home stadiums that do not, Workers United found that non-Aramark teams' average luck is .40 and Aramark teams' average luck is -1.93." [Workers United]...

The One Where Sweaty Will Leitch Startles A Man
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Why Your Half-Day Sucks
Because most of you are stuck in traffic right now, this week's exciting installment of Why George Will Sucks will run next week. Keep sending in your Dodger Stadium stories: [email protected]....

OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....

Why Your Team Sucks: Cincinnati Bengals
Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Alcohol Is Not A Performance Enhancer (Especially In Chess)
Vladislav Tkachiev, a French grandmaster by way of Moscow and Kazakhstan, was disqualified from a tournament in India when he fell asleep at the table. To be fair, chess is very boring. And he was drunk....

Bullfighting, Minus The Blood Or Swishy Uniforms
The Spanish have invented a replacement sport for bullfighting, called "bull dallying." For those who hate seeing animals brutally tortured, but still want to watch idiots risking their lives for no reason. It still probably won't satisfy PETA. [Steady Burn]...

Fire It Up And Get The Skanks, Hoosiers
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

Alex Rodriguez Loves His Mounties
A-Rod got a little up close and personal with the Toronto police department last night and, as is his wont, he got a little handsy. Come on, Kate Hudson. Can't you control your man?...

Why Your Team Sucks: Kansas City Chefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Byron Hout Got What He Deserved
Is LeGarrette Blount a crazy hothead who deserves to be suspended? Absolutely. But isn't part of you a little bit pleased that he wiped that fucking smirk off Byron Hout's face?...

A Season Of Failure, Graphical Edition
A visually oriented Mets fan does a great Edward Tufte number on his team's injury-ridden, hell-spawn season. The best thing you can say about the Mets now is that no club inspires such rigorously detailed postmortems. Amazin'! [seanengelhardt.com]...

Kyle Orton Likes What He Sees
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Mike Vick Power Hour To Come Sooner Than Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Impending Death Of The Salary Cap Won't Be Doomsday For The NFL
Roger Goodell said that with labor talks stalling, a new CBA is not in the near future and next season will likely see the NFL without a salary cap. Say goodbye to that famed parity? The short answer: no....

Ernie Harwell Diagnosed With Incurable Cancer
"We don't know how long this lasts. It could be a year, it could be much less than a year, much less than a half a year. Who knows? Whatever's in store, I'm ready for a new adventure." [Free Press]...

Here's What We'll All Be Talking About Tomorrow (UPDATE)
Quick! Look at Oregon's LeGarrette Blount sucker punch the Broncos' Byron Hout and pull a semi-Artest, before they take it down....