a Page 7368 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your NFL Preseason Games Open Thread
And so it begins, with the "games" for which ownership demands you pay full ticket price to ensure regular-season attendance, but they're not really games at all. They're practice sessions at which understudies replace the stars just after the performance begins. If not before that....

Be Cool Or Elmo Might Have To Stab Somebody
Last night, in Nassau Bay, Texas, a suburb of Houston, Joshua Knight made one very bad decision. He wore this Elmo shirt. The other bad decision, involving his stabbing a man who tried to break up a fight between Knight and a woman, is totally alleged....

This Evening: Welcome To NBA-Player-Slumming-It-In-A-Charity-Game Basketball, Kid
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 11, the day we learned Facebook had seized all of our phone contacts. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Sean Patton
Who? Sean Patton is a comic originally from New Orleans, arriving as part of group from New Orleans along with Mark Normand and Neal Statsny. Sean works in a free association style. The audience never knows where the punchline is coming and in that way his jokes feel almost like magic tricks....

Science! Picks Your BCS Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, determining the participants and outcomes of every Bowl game....

Making And Remaking History In Olympics-Addled Beijing
Adapted from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, available at your favorite bookseller....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...

Okay Easton PR Guy, You Win
Perhaps you've seen "Ultimate Batting Practice" around this week; it's a full fledged viral video now. You'll recognize it by the egregious sodomy of physics, and the prominently-displayed dual Easton logos. It's a "dude" making magic with four pitchback rebounders, and that's all the info that come...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Jessica Kirson
Who? Jessica Kirson started in New York. She's big but never uses it to self-pity or incur sympathy. She uses it to destroy. The hardest comics to follow on a show are the ones that change the rhythm of a room. A one-liner comic throws off the pattern for the comedians that follow because the audi...

Today In Great Coach Quotes
"If you want a Savile Row suit, you pay Savile Row prices, but you can still put a suit on your back from Tesco's... It would be unfair to expect the Tesco man to look as good as the Savile Row man." [West Brom manager Roy Hodgson on the team's bankroll, via Yahoo! Sport]...

The Most Dangerous Job In Sports Entertainment Is Hiring
Above is (part 1 of) a compilation of wrestlers going through the WWE Spanish broadcast table. That poor plywood table, and to a lesser extent the actual announcers, have become a part of WWE mythology. Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich have had Mick Foley in their laps more than Mrs. Foley has....

Here's Video Of A Soccer Ref Getting Pushed, Punched And Kicked Before Being Chased Off Into The Night
He also gets hit directly in the head with the ball. Almost forgot that. [BobsBlitz]...

At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...

Cubs Consider Getting Rid Of Wrigley's Most Iconic Feature
The ivy is safe. The troughs are endangered. ...

Brewers Pitcher Fiddles With Scissors, Loses
"Narveson was fiddling with his glove with a pair of scissors when the scissors somehow slipped and sliced his left thumb. That would be the thumb on his pitching hand. Eight stitches were needed to close the wound, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said." [Sporting News]...

Greg Jennings Puts The Fam On His Back
We all remember this, right? One Madden player's profane, exultant play-by-play of virtual Greg Jennings' gamebreaking score. Real Greg Jennings gets in on the fun with a family-friendly reenactment, with narration by Larry Fitzgerald....

Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Baby
It's that time of year again, when dads somehow simultaneously shirk and embrace parental responsibility by catching foul balls with babes in arms. Last night in Chicago, a Cubs fan managed to juggle his infant to his left arm and grab a foul ball with his right....

<em>Jersey Shore</em> Finally Finds Its Voice: Joe Buck
Your morning roundup for Aug. 11, the day it wasn't a good idea to let a six-year-old drive the car. Photo via @danpbell. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Ray Guy's Three Super Bowl Rings Ended Up Being Worth $96,216
Old Raiders punter Ray Guy went bankrupt. So, a judge told Ray Guy to sell off the hand jewels he received for participating in Super Bowl victories over the Vikings, Eagles and Redskins. No word on who made off with the rings via Nate D. Sanders Auctions — "Sorry, I can't disclose the winning bidd...

Bryce Harper Got Thrown Out Of A Minor League Baseball Game Tonight
Washington Nationals prospect/messiah Bryce Harper of the Harrisburg Senators didn't agree with the umpire's strike call in tonight's game against the Richmond Flying Squirrels. So, he slammed his helmet to the ground, got ejected and did some yelling. Good times were had by all....