a Page 7376 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alcohol Is Not A Performance Enhancer (Especially In Chess)
Vladislav Tkachiev, a French grandmaster by way of Moscow and Kazakhstan, was disqualified from a tournament in India when he fell asleep at the table. To be fair, chess is very boring. And he was drunk....
Bullfighting, Minus The Blood Or Swishy Uniforms
The Spanish have invented a replacement sport for bullfighting, called "bull dallying." For those who hate seeing animals brutally tortured, but still want to watch idiots risking their lives for no reason. It still probably won't satisfy PETA. [Steady Burn]...
Fire It Up And Get The Skanks, Hoosiers
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....
Alex Rodriguez Loves His Mounties
A-Rod got a little up close and personal with the Toronto police department last night and, as is his wont, he got a little handsy. Come on, Kate Hudson. Can't you control your man?...
Why Your Team Sucks: Kansas City Chefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Byron Hout Got What He Deserved
Is LeGarrette Blount a crazy hothead who deserves to be suspended? Absolutely. But isn't part of you a little bit pleased that he wiped that fucking smirk off Byron Hout's face?...
A Season Of Failure, Graphical Edition
A visually oriented Mets fan does a great Edward Tufte number on his team's injury-ridden, hell-spawn season. The best thing you can say about the Mets now is that no club inspires such rigorously detailed postmortems. Amazin'! [seanengelhardt.com]...
Kyle Orton Likes What He Sees
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Mike Vick Power Hour To Come Sooner Than Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Impending Death Of The Salary Cap Won't Be Doomsday For The NFL
Roger Goodell said that with labor talks stalling, a new CBA is not in the near future and next season will likely see the NFL without a salary cap. Say goodbye to that famed parity? The short answer: no....
Ernie Harwell Diagnosed With Incurable Cancer
"We don't know how long this lasts. It could be a year, it could be much less than a year, much less than a half a year. Who knows? Whatever's in store, I'm ready for a new adventure." [Free Press]...
Here's What We'll All Be Talking About Tomorrow (UPDATE)
Quick! Look at Oregon's LeGarrette Blount sucker punch the Broncos' Byron Hout and pull a semi-Artest, before they take it down....
Chelsea Banned From Signing Players Until 2010 2011
The two-transfer-window ban is for illegally poaching a young midfielder from his Ligue 1 team. Which is funny, because messing around with a French teenager is exactly how Tony Parker got in trouble, too. [Guardian]...
Your Obligatory EA Opening Night Round-Up
So! College football is back, and if the opening game is any indication, it's going to be a boring, sloppy season. But the real intrigue was on the sidelines....
Crystal Taylor: Not Pregnant!
Dirk Nowitzki's ex-fiancée isn't carrying a little Dirkchen, a pregnancy test proved. (Not to mention months in prison with nothing to show for it.) Clearly, while Dirk tried to drain one from outside, there was goaltending on the play. [ESPN.com]...
Awful Team Photos — The Definitive Collection
Fact: football teams discover neither style nor shame until they hit the pros. To illustrate this, we've put together a gallery of your old favorites, plus some new entries. We'll be adding to this periodically as you keep sending them....
So What Do We Do About Erin Andrews?
College football returns to us (and ESPN) tonight and that means America's Sideline Princess is back on the job. But can we talk about her without talking about that thing that we're not supposed to be talking about?...
Michael Vick Can Play In Week 3
Roger Goodell says Vick is working on "recognizing" his "life management skills" so he only has to sit out two games this year. And no more hard lemonade! [NFL.com]...
<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...
The Washington Redskins Will Sue Your Grandmother Into Bankruptcy
A recent Washington Post story mentioned that the Redskins have been suing season ticket holders who backed out of their onerous seat contracts. Apparently that story wasn't sad enough, so here's a picture of a crying grandma Daniel Snyder bankrupted....