a Page 7375 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Weekend In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Several of you sent in unintentional dong shots since Thursday night's "This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions" post. Here, four of you get the attention you so greatly deserve....
Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...
In 1995, An ESPN Cameraman Captured Fenway Fans Having An Over-The-Jorts Three-Way (UPDATE)
Oh, 1997. Back when we thought murdering Vince Foster was the worst our government could do. Back when we could watch both Mad About You and Caroline in the City. Back when the Red Sox were so mediocre and uninteresting that over-the-jorts horndoggery could occur in a half-empty Fenway Park. These ...
This Lady Left Two Used Tampons Under Her Seat At Wrigley Field
Perhaps one is free to leave trash under one's seat at movie theaters or stadiums: popcorn, Pepsi, (Neifi) Perez memorabilia—but we ought to draw the line well short of endometrial cells....
Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....
Watch Nani's Pretty Half-Pitch Injury Time Goal To Clinch Manchester United's Comeback
This goal, from Nani, in stoppage time, is a triumph of all kinds of speed. Wayne Rooney ain't that fast....
Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....
Someone Wore A Big, Furry Chewbacca Mask To The Rangers-Indians Game Last Night, When It Was 106º Out
Yes, it was really quite sweltering. Inherit the Wind-courtroom sweltering....
Shannon Sharpe's HOF Induction Speech Was Not Exciting Enough To Keep John Elway From Texting
Your morning roundup for August 7, the day London was burning, and we lived by the river. Screencap via eagle-eyed reader Rob, who says he "fucking hates John Elway." See anything that might interest us? Email the tips line....
A Case Study In Why You Shouldn't Share An Email Address With Your Lovely Wife
Tipster Matthew D. recently shared details of what happened when a guy named Christian dropped out of their fantasy football league. All participants are from the PA/NJ/NY area but for Christian, who's from Seattle. "Only one of us has had the privilege of meeting him in person," Matthew pointed ou...
Your Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony Open Thread
Tonight, Richard Dent, Marshall Faulk, Chris Hanburger, Les Richter, Ed Sabol, Deion Sanders and Shannon Sharpe will be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Good for them....
Here's Video Of A Smooth Assist In A German Soccer Match
Borussia Dortmund faced Hamburg to start their respective Bundesliga seasons yesterday, which you probably already knew. The former won the match 3-1, the highlight of which was Robert Lewandowski's assist on Mario Götze's give-and-go goal in the 29th minute....
Minor League Baseball Rain-Delay Dancing Fool Proves Tommy John Surgery Defeats Zombies
Tipster Andrew B. points out that Casey Mulligan, mere mortal of rain-delay Thriller 2009 performance fame, recently decided "to hang up the cleats at age 23 after deciding not to undergo Tommy John surgery. He was living the dream as a catcher turned pitcher with an actual shot to make it to the ...
Fox Has Some Odd Advice For What Cole Hamels Should Do On The Pitchers Mound Today
In all likelihood, Kenny Albert probably wishes his broadcast-booth script just said, "Throw a curve" instead of the "drop a deuce" line he just uttered on air....
Furries May Have Unwittingly Announced That Next Year's NHL Draft Will Be Held In Pittsburgh
Here's the title of a post from The Hockey News this morning: "Rescheduling of 'Furry' convention in Pittsburgh points to Penguins hosting 2012 NHL Draft." Oh really? Go on:...
Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...
This Is What It Looked Like When Heinz Field Became The Home Of The Gotham Rogues
As mentioned in Wake Up Deadspin, "The Dark Knight Rises" production took over Heinz Field, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, today. They called for about 10,000 extras and some Steelers, including newly married Ben Roethlisberger, were expected to be on camera....
Someone Took The Time To Write About How The Credit Downgrade Could Affect The NHL
Some of you math-y sporty types out there have probably wondered what Standard & Poor's downgraded rating on U.S. government debt means for the world of athletics....
If He Knew How, Nick Saban Would Troll Football Websites To Get Back At Reporters
University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's "first news conference of the preseason practice schedule" is annually a seminal moment in Tuscaloosa. At this year's FNCotPPS, Saban expressed dismay with the speed by which stories/rumors/innuendo spreads in the information age. Sayeth Saban to t...
Professional Football Ultimate Fan Association President Hit By Float At Hall Of Fame Parade
The Canton Repository was on the scene when "the Obie the Tiger balloon cruised through the intersection of Tuscarawas Street and Cleveland Avenue just before 9 a.m." Shortly thereafter, the Timken Grand Parade got real....