a Page 7395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rex Ryan Reveals "The Art" Of Breaking Up Training Camp Fights
"The reason you do that is because your buddy can get another shot in on somebody. You don't want to pull off your guy and he gets hit. I mean, that's just the way it is." [SI]...

Fart-Gate Officially The Dumbest Sports "Scandal" Of The Year
So this is actually a thing now? Several major media outlets devoted real newsprint to the mysterious case of Tiger Woods’ non-flatulence. Lawyers got involved. Official statements have been issued. Answers have been demanded. How did this come to be?...

Why Your Team Sucks: Jacksonville Jaguars
Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Arena Football Will Not Come Back To You
The president of the Tampa Bay Storm announced (via Facebook) that the AFL "will not be returning." Probably ever. Surprisingly, not playing the 2009 season didn't help to turn things around! Does this mean they file for Chapter 5.5 bankruptcy?...

Plaxico Burress Indicted, Antonio Pierce Isn't
File this under things we would have posted yesterday, if we could have. There's a very high probability that Plaxico Burress is going to jail for accidentally shooting himself in the leg. [NYTimes]...

Our Tech Team Is Victorious Once Again
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....

Drug Dealing The Only Way To Keep Young Athletes Off The Street
Two Tampa men have devoted their lives to helping young athletes stay in school and stay off the streets. But when the money they used to support those kids dried up, they did the only sensible thing....they started slinging coke....

Second Gatti Autopsy Doesn't Rule Out Homicide, According To "Celebrity Pathologist"
Arturo Gatti's body was exhumed Friday for a second autopsy, this time in Gatti's native Montreal and this time with the assistance of Michael Baden, a real-life forensic pathologist who also plays one on TV. Examiners found "some surprises," unsurprisingly....

Michigan Sports Hall Of Fame Is Sad Metaphor For Entire State
The Michigan Sports Hall of Fame is $150,000 in debt, even thought it has no employees and doesn't pay rent. Now they want to sell the plaques to raise money, which sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?...

Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....

Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open
Unless CBS had a special microphone right next to his ass, it doesn't seem plausible that Woods could be the culprit. Yes, just a few seconds before blast-off, we see Woods loosening his hamstrings by kicking his legs up behind him, followed by the alleged fart, then a shot of he and caddy Steve Wil...

LenDale White's Revolutionary "No Tequila" Diet
Football fans have been marveling at the transformation of Titans' running back LenDale White, who has trimmed his previous bowling ball-like physique down to a svelte 228-pound Mack Truck. So how did he do it? By not eating worms, obviously....

The Legend Of Green Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Look At You. You Disgust Me.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You a big sports fan? Of course you are. You fat bastard. You make my physically ill....

Weak-Hitting Player Rips Manager For Not Letting Him Hit Weakly
"I don't appreciate the disrespect, because I've been playing hurt for a guy who won't respect you. I don't deserve it...It's time for me to move on." -Melvin Mora, (.256, 3 HR, 27 RBI) on being benched. Again. [Baltimore Sun]...

NHL's Horrible CBA Comes Back To Bite Them In The Ass
After years of the NHL screwing fans, a few owners are now trying to screw the league. No one weeps for Gary Bettman, because turnabout is foul play....

The Rickey Henderson Lovebirds Explain Themselves
Remember when you all made your jokey jokes at the expense of the couple, united by the majesty that is Rickey, who flew to Cooperstown for his induction? Well, they read Deadspin. Don't you feel bad now?...

Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...

Steve Bartman Not Allowed To Die Quietly
ESPN is producing a documentary on Steve Bartman, finally giving the world the narrative no one asked for. It's sure to rip out the hearts of Cubbies fans, the players don't want it, and I'm guessing Bartman's not thrilled either....