a Page 7429 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....

Crumpet? I Hardly Know It!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Sports Psychologist Takes Full Credit For Stewart Cink
Who is really to blame for "stepping on a Hall of Famer's neck" and ruining golf forever by not laying down for Tom Watson. Not that jerk Stewart Cink. Send a note to Dr. Morris Pickens, famous sports psychologist, instead....

When Is A Blog Not A Blog?
We can all agree that new media is rapidly taking down the mainstream media on almost every subject. But there's a good argument to be made that sports is the one slice of the media pie that's surviving. Why?...

Follow Me (Very Slowly) To Freedom
114-pound tortoise makes a break for it, flees the circus. He was later found on a golf course two miles away, still running. It took him six days. [AP]...

BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry
OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse....

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fans mob a Twitter-promoted baseball game featuring the Jonas Brothers. If you're wondering about their road beef, Chris Hansen would like you to sit down over here. [Boston Herald]...

A Funnier, Less Pottymouthed Pacman Making It Rain Video
It really shouldn't have taken this long for this to be made. But I think we're all glad it was....

If An Octogenarian Can Do It, It's Not A Sport (UPDATED)
What's scarier for a NASCAR driver going 200 mph? Sharing the track with someone on meth? Or sharing the track with someone who needs to get to Old Country Buffet in time for the early bird special?...

Look Ma, No Hands
Chinese police stopped this man for driving a motorcycle without a license. Unlike most police stops, they didn't have to worry about whether the suspect was armed. [Ananova]...

Well, That Was Anticlimactic
Congratulations, Stewart Cink, on your first major championship. Too bad no one cares. Do you remember who beat Jean Van de Velde in '99? All we'll remember from Turnberry is Tom Watson missing an 8-footer for the Claret Jug....

Now We'll Take You Seriously, Lady Soccer
With the top 3 goalies injured or away on national team duty, WPS's Washington Freedom taps coach to play goalie. They win by shutout, of course. [WaPo]...

USF Kicker Nominates Self For Darwin Award With Theme Park Mishap
It's the kicker-gets-injured story that has everything: a second-rate Florida football school, a second-rate Florida theme park, and a totally preventable injury that's not too serious to make fun of him....

Tom Watson Still 59, Still Leading The Open Yeah, About That...
Three holes to go, and the old man is up by a stroke. Let's hope he doesn't have one before he enters the clubhouse. [PGA Leaderboard]...

And By Fix Your TV, I Mean Have Sex With You
High school baseball coach busted for soliciting a prostitute, tells police he was just there to repair her television. Bonus: award winning mugshot! [St. Pete Times]...

Autopsy Concludes Gatti Is Dead, Little Else
Just when you thought a retired athlete could be killed by by a scorned paramour, and that would be the end of the story, comes a report out of Brazil that answers no questions, but generates plenty of new headlines....

Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open
Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]...

With No Regard For Human Life
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....

Lenny Dykstra Has Open And Honest Communication With His Wife
This is what Dykstra's wife says he toldsent her via text message over voicemail: "From now on everything is going to be bad, the war is ready to begin and I play ... dirty!" [Ventura County Star]...