a Page 7429 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brewers Fan Tells Nyjer Morgan To Go Fly A Kite, So Nyjer Morgan Goes And Flies A Kite
More evidence that Nyjer Morgan is a singular soul: Reader Todd responded to one of those tweets that public figures always release into the Twittersphere to make their followers feel acknowledged (this one: "Wat should ur boy do today?"), only this public figure (sure, why not?) happened to be Nyje...

Breaking: Mid-Atlantic Sports Scene Goes Insane
The Flyers shipped Jeff Carter to Columbus and captain Mike Richards to Los Angeles. Then Jim Riggleman resigned as Nationals manager, just as the Nats are the league's hottest team. All this in the span of about 20 minutes. We're just waiting for the Ravens to ritually slaughter an orphanage, and t...

The Phillie Phanatic Takes A Foul Ball To The Face
The giant fuzzy sex fiend got a ball just under the snout (proboscis?) at a minor league game last night. He (or the human inside) went to the emergency room, and was treated for a contusion and released. He won't miss any time, and will return to the usual boring mascot hazard of being pummeled i...

Lenny Dykstra Remains In Jail, But You Can Change That With Your PayPal Account
At one point this guy seemed fairly wealthy, you know. Now Nails is short on cash, but you're only a few clicks (and several thousand dollars!) away from helping to pay his bail for bankruptcy fraud charges and get Nails free....

Hard-Hitting Dan Patrick Asks Kyrie Irving Where He's Going, About A Million Times
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The same question, asked many different ways....

Great-Grandmother Banned For Invading Leeds' Soccer Field Just Wanted To Tell Lads She Loved 'Em
Margaret Musgrove, a 63-year-old great-grandmother from West Yorkshire, has been banned from the Leeds United stadium after running onto the field at Elland Road in May. She is much cooler and possibly drunker than your great-grandmother:...

Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
When you don't know all but one of your teammates, and your team has yet to play a game, it's probably best not to try to hijack the process of designing a team t-shirt. If you do try to hijack the design process—"I'd suggest some muted colors, like maroon/beige/forest green/wine"—and people get ann...

Fashionista Softball Player Flips Out Over Uniforms In Several Bitchy Emails
This slow-pitch softball meltdown is unique, in that the rec league season hadn't yet begun. They were trying to pick a uniform color scheme, and four different designs for the Westside Swingers jersey were emailed out. A co-manager sets it up for us:...

<em>Hollywood Reporter</em> Refutes <em>Daily Mail</em> Story About O.J. Confessing To Oprah That Cited <em>National Enquirer</em> Story That Doesn't Exist
As you were, Internet. [Hollywood Reporter]...

Daniel Sedin Wins The Important Hardware: A Broken Trophy
The NHL awards were last night; we didn't watch. (Mostly a Jay Mohr thing.) So we couldn't tell you what outfit the readers of Seventeen picked out for Jeff Skinner, or if the pointless Jennings Trophy was handed beforehand, like the technical Oscars....

Dallas Man Explains Why He Got Dirk Nowitzki's Face Tattooed On His Ass, Still Has Some Explaining To Do
"When Dirk lifted the Larry O'Brien and the MVP trophy it was the greatest sports moment of my life. I sports-cried, called a high school friend that does tattoos and have been on a Dallas Mavericks championship high ever since. Now I realize that I will be sitting on a big German man's face for the...

If You Want To Play Soccer In Australia, Please Remove Your Genital Piercings First
The Old Hill Wanderers would like to clear up the specifics in an incident that led to a red card in a game against Swinburne on June 19:...

"This Is A Great Day For Canada's Football," Says Canada Coach After Dumb Luck Delays Elimination Three More Days
I'm not sure what lessons we can learn from the U-17 World Cup (I hope none, because the US lost to Uzbekistan last night), but English goaltending looks like it'll be hopeless for the next couple of decades....

Bryce Harper's Truck Is Exactly What You'd Expect Bryce Harper's Truck To Be
Your morning roundup for June 23, the day Whitey got popped. Image via Nats Enquirer....

Of Course The Pill-Popping Couple Charged With Four Pharmacy Murders Got Engaged At An Islanders Game
Per the New York Daily News, "A pill-popping, gun-loving Army vet and his junkie wife were charged Wednesday night in the cold-blooded massacre of four innocent people at a Long Island pharmacy. David Laffer and Melinda Brady were hauled out of his mother's Medford, L.I., house in handcuffs after h...

Somebody Tried To Sneak Past Security At Ryan Dunn's Memorial Service This Afternoon
No, the Westboro Baptist Church did not live up to its promise to "picket any public memorial/funeral held for [Ryan] Dunn, warning all not to make a mock of sin, & to fear and obey God" this afternoon. So, it can be argued that God does not, in fact, hate Jackass co-stars who drive really, really ...

This Has To Be Among The Funniest Things That Could Happen After Two Motorcycle Racers Crash
During a round of the Promosport Championship at Circuit de Nevers Magny-Cours in France, two riders crashed. Then, their rides decided to start mating. All that's missing is this....

Maybe It's A Siberian Mining-Country Custom For 7-Foot Boxers To Play Soccer In "An Exotic Charity Event"
There's so much going on in this news report from Siberia that it's easy to forget that a 7-foot heavyweight boxer (Nikolay Valuev) is trying to play soccer against a 5-foot-7 footballer (Andrey Arshavin) for charity. But that's what it is, and here's why:...

Here's Video Of The Adu-To-Donovan-To-Dempsey Goal That Advanced The U.S. To The Gold Cup Final
With a 1-0 victory over Panama, the U.S. men's soccer team will face the winner of the upcoming Mexico/Honduras match in Houston. Yes, the Adu in the headline is Freddy, that not-quite-prodigy who Coach Bob Bradley inserted into the match in the 66th minute. And yes, both Adu's and Donovan's passe...

Here's Video Of A Rapscallion Getting Face Planted On The Chinese Soccer Pitch He Defiled
This video is titled "China Football Special Pretending Footballer hitting Referee 追打裁判." What more needs to be said? Nothing, that's what....