a Page 7914 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who's Sorry Now? Golf Edition
It's bad enough that your name is John Henry Isenhour III. But now word has leaked that you killed a protected species of hawk with a golf drive, on purpose, and there are criminal charges pending against you. Poor dumb sap. The only thing remaining of course is a phony, slapdash apology. Take it aw...

The Marycuse Orangeapins
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....

Los Spurs and Rockets Win, While The LeBron Jameses Lose
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes you all a happy freaking Friday. When he's not celebrating the weekend, he can be found playing Texas Hold 'Em at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • We now have an answer to one of life's great mysteries. The Yao Ming-less Rockets are indeed better than the ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while packing for camp ... • College basketball: AP's account of UCLA's overtime win over Stanford fails to mention the absolutely brutal call against the Cardinal's Lawrence Hill with two seconds left in regulation that handed the Bruins the Pac-10 title. • NBA: Los Spurs have won 1...

Are You Ready For "Torco Field" On The North Side?
We haven't weighed in yet on the notion that the Cubs might change the name of Wrigley Field, but let us say that it would make us, and just about everybody we know, incredibly sad. There'd be no more sad sign of our times than having drunk postcollegiates stumbling around Bank of America Field. Ev...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that the New York Times must have laid off some headline oversight editors ... • College basketball: Connecticut at Providence (7 p.m., ET), Xavier at Saint Joseph's (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Clemson at Georgia Tech (7 p.m., ET), Michigan State at Illinois (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2...

Four Square: The Sport That Made Our Nation Great
The Four Square World Championships concluded last month in Maine, which I mention because I had no idea there was such a thing. It makes me very happy that we have a national four-square champion, even if it is this guy. Four square, you see, is more than it seems....

Yao's Untraditional Rehab
In one of those stories that we're sure is being blown out of proportion but just can't help but pile onto anyway, it appears that people within the Houston Rockets — who apparently, in the midst of a 16-game winning streak, need something to worry about — are concerned that Yao Ming's rehabilitatio...

Man's Ashes Have More Fun Than He Ever Did
Dear tiny infant Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, "Jezus," please welcome Big George Helms (pictured here) into your Heavenly kingdom. But first, kindly bear with us as his remains take a couple of laps at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Then its over to the KFC drive-thru, and then straig...

Another Upstart Football League Bucks The Odds And Fails
You might remember the All-American Football League, the "challenger" pro league meant to challenge the NFL. (This is the one that drafted players from near their college area; Snarktastic had someone sneak into the draft.) Well, this will come as a shock to you, but ... it looks like the league mig...

I Know That A—hole Knows What A Vegan Is
Welcome back to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we’ll be bringing in various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, and MORE! - to speak to you folks directly. This week, it’s California Congressman and Roger Clemens’ own personal Inspector Javert, Henry Waxman....

Bret Adams' Busy Fingers And Thumbs
• George Karl's lawyer is emailing everybody now. [And Here Come The Pretzels] • Seriously, that Javon Walker deal ... that sure is a lot of money. [BroncoTalk] • The NFL needs to get a wee bit more creative. [Dave's Football Blog] • It's nice when your arrests happen off-campus; you can hit the gam...

Baseball Season Preview: Houston Astros
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....

Media Approval Ratings: Bob Costas
We once joked that Bob Costas seems like the type of guy who would pee sitting down, but that's a little harsher than our personal opinion toward him really is. He's a St. Louis guy, after all, and it's not everyone who can deal with both Dan Marino and Keith Olbermann....

Presenting The ESPN Intern Application
The mind boggles when one considers the responsibilities of an ESPN intern. (We suspect it's a little more relaxed now that Salisbury's gone.) Fetching coffee is the least of it; we imagine someone having to rub Berman's feet. But what are the qualifications required to become an ESPN intern? What m...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity
If Roger Clemens ever tires of heading out there and "defending" "his" name," he's gonna come to the harsh reality that he is, after all, unemployed. As you wonder aloud what he might be qualified to do — we suggest perhaps dry cleaning — the Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwauke...

Dusty Baker And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance
We think this is the last piece of business we missed during vacation, but it warrants mentioning. We've all kind of missed Dusty Baker from the Major Leagues, haven't we? It just wasn't the same without him and his toothpick in the dugout. (We also missed the epic hit-batsman-brawls that inevitably...

Nashville Is Really Ruining Things For The Rest Of Us
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....