a Page 7914 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

OCTOBER! F*CK YEAH!!!!! Jamboroo, Week 4
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Angry Interplanetary Ice Bear Will Destroy Anchorage, Bring Back Hockey
Seriously, this bear is fucking pissed. Wouldn't you be if you were the mascot for an obscure college hockey team in Fairbanks and then got banished to the stars? I would certainly want to smash some shit up, starting with that small moon over there. Do not fuck with the Nanook Space Bear....

ESPN Plans To Favre The Favre Out Of You
"ESPN, says spokesman Mike Soltys, will announce that on next Monday's broadcast of its ESPN2 SportsNation (5 p.m. ET), it will try to set a record for the most mentions of Brett Favre on a TV show..."[AwfulAnnouncing]...

Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....

Rushin Literature
Steve Rushin, the punster who used to write awesome features and dreadful columns for Sports Illustrated, has a novel dropping next year. It's about "a friendly and unassuming lover of clever wordplay and television sports." Steve's really stretching himself. [Amazon]...

Un-Rubbed Balls Create Sticky Situation For Cardinals
John Smoltz thinks the reason he got roughed up last night is because his balls were not properly rubbed down. Yet, opposing pitcher Bronson Arroyo threw just fine. Is it because he was rubbing something special on his own balls?...

Please Wipe Down The Rim After Dunking
According to the Boston Herald, the NBA has issued "an anti-handshake" directive, asking players to fist or chest bump each other to combat swine flu. Also, please use a handkerchief when boxing out. [Herald/NoGutsNoGlory]...

More Jerseys For Your Closet Of Awesomeness
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

HGH Is P.O.'ed At T.O.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Think There's No Cheating In Baseball?
Here's Joe Mauer, in Tuesday night's game, blatantly tipping pitches from second base. Trust me when I say there's nothing extraordinary about this sort of thing. [Via Total Pro Sports]...

Thanks For Your Years Of Service, Drunky
It's not uncommon for the media to take pleasure in seeing certain players get traded away. But maybe you don't need to run photos of his underage drinking alongside the story....

It's Business As Usual For Insane Wizards
Nick Young thinking he's James Brown. Mike James barking like a dog. The entire team Hula'ing invisible hoops. Yes, there was a hypnotist at training camp, but no one would be shocked if there hadn't been. [WaPo]...

The NHL Gets Its Way, And Paradoxically, So Do The Fans
I've been a vocal advocate for Jim Balsillie's plan to move the Coyotes to Ontario. But in the wake of today's ruling to reject his bid, it's clear that the judge made the right decision. The only decision....

Dancing Ump Brings Joy To Meaningless Games
Sorry Daulerio, but butt-chin down there wasn't even the most flamboyant person at a Phillies game this week. That'd be Dancin' Tim Tschida....

The Philadelphia Phillies Look Toward October Once Again
The post-WFC comedown has clearly not affected this Fightins' fan, who still has the Zook-like intensity of a man still thirsting for a championship. If the Phillies win tonight, they'll have clinched the NL East for the third straight year....

Contextual Advertising Knows Rick Reilly®'s Mind
Skip the column — Reilly reviews Chad Ochocinco's new book, dad jokes ensue — and go straight to the sponsored links at the bottom. You have chosen your advertising vehicle wisely, www.consumertipsweekly.net. [ESPN]...

You, Too, Can Absorb Blake Griffin's Power
Sports memorabilia blogger Andrew Long certainly thought so. So he met up with Griffin at an organized autograph session and presented him with a delicious sandwich. Griffin graciously signed both halves and then Long devoured one, believing that Blake's lifeforce, transferred via bread, will bestow...

The Learning Curve: So Yoked
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Favre Did It!
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....