a Page 7913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chicago Mourns The Loss Of Civic Nuisance, Massive Boondoggle Known As The Olympics
Chicago had this thing and it was fucking golden and then, suddenly, it wasn't. And even though Jacques Rogge and the IOC saved the city the enormous, crippling burden of hosting their big track meet, some people were very sad....

Deadspin In Minnesota: A Previewaroo!
Just a reminder: I'll be heading to Minneapolis on Monday morning to cover Packers-Vikings for this fair site. What can you expect from our little excursion? RUBBED BEEF!...

The One With The Overabundance Of Crotch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Eagerly Awaiting Tony La Russa's Postseason Implosion
The best thing about having the Cardinals around in October is the inevitable moment when La Russa, lineup-card philosopher and Buzz Bissinger's kewpie doll, gets bounced on his ass by a team that realizes the game is baseball, not chess....

Your 2016 Olympic City Is....
Rio de Janeiro! The Olympics will be held in South America for the first time ever (and only the third time in the Southern Hemisphere.)...

Why Did New Mexico's Coach Punch His Assistant? Whatever
New Mexico coach Mike Locksley is maybe going to be out of a job soon since he probably slugged his own assistant coach in the face. And all because the other guy had to go and get catty....

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

Shawn Chacon Even Worse At Gambling Than He Was At Pitching
Las Vegas authorities have issued an arrest warrant for former Astro Shawn Chacon, after he allegedly passed $150,000 worth of bad checks at Caesar's Palace. Even worse, he always tries to split face cards. [Las Vegas Sun]...

Michael Jordan Is A Hall Of Fame Dancer
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Apparently "Season-Long" Suspension Means Only The Nonconference Season
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Catholic School Teams Make The Best Videos
A reader sent this in to add it to our gallery of team photos. But this deserves its own post, for you see, it's a high school team's music video. And it's every bit as amazing as you could imagine....

Nationals Set To Make History, Fail As Usual
Without the divine intervention of the Royals, Washington would have gone wire-to-wire on ESPN's power rankings. Guess which end of the wire. [ESPN.com]...

The Strangest Dirk Nowitzki Story You'll Ever Read
Deadspin presents to you a look at the burgeoning genre of Dirk Nowitzki fiction. Featuring homoerotic thoughts about Steve Nash, a Christ complex, and Oedipal musings. We are through the looking glass here, people....

Hockey Players Must Humiliate Themselves For National Exposure
Yup, that's Madonna being carried into David Letterman's show by the New York Rangers. The Blueshirts also delivered the first Top Ten list in years to actually have a funny #1. [NYRangers.com]...

Life Threatening Illnesses Are No Excuse For Slacking In Youth Basketball
Youth teams know the surest way to make SportsCenter is to let a child with cancer (also: autism, Down syndrome) play. Another surefire way to make the news: cut a kid from the team after his inspiring recovery from cancer....

Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....

Handicapping The 2016 Olympic Vote
Four cities are vying for the right to punish their own citizens with higher taxes, crippling transportation problems, and acres of over-priced and underused infrastructure projects that will blight the landscape for decades to come. Let the torch burn bright!...

Buzz Bissinger's Highlight Reel
So that happened. Buzz Bissinger popped up in the comments section this afternoon and he did not disappoint....

Minnesota Takes Characteristically Polite Umbrage At Sign-Stealing Allegations
You saw the video this morning. The Twins have responded with amusement and gentle outrage at any suggestion that Joe Mauer might've been relaying signs from second base like some Navy signalman on the flight deck of the Nimitz....

Getting Free Shoes Does Not Make You A Celebrity Endorser
Nike has been forced to admit publicly that they have not signed Michael Vick to a new endorsement deal, after one of his agents said they had. (They're simply supplying him with gear.) Gee, that's awkward. [USAToday]...