a Page 7941 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Drew Brees' Crazy Mom Moves Up To Extortion
For the record, Saints QB Drew Brees still has a "nonexistent" relationship with his mother, so he probably didn't sign off on her recent plan to dupe Texas restaurants into paying her for the name of their own business....

It's The Year Of The Booger Pick
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Some Wishful Thinking At The Dotcom Tonight
Favre passes? First Jim Johnson, now this? O cruel football gods! Wait, it's just a terrible headline? And Brett's alive, but definitely still retired? Thank you, football gods! [H/T reader Seth]...

College Recruiting About To Get A Lot More Complicated
Forget the fact that it's James Madison University vs. Marist. A dispute over a departed coach bringing previously recruited players to his new school has led to one of the oddest lawsuits in college sports....

Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...

Pirates Try To Give Seats Away, Fail Miserably
In anticipation of low ticket sales for the Nationals' visit, Pittsburgh tried out an innovative promotion that could have made winners of everyone. They made the mistake of tying the promotion to their success on the field....

Jim Johnson Passes Away At 68
I shouldn't be the one doing this post. A.J.'s the Eagles fan. I'm a Giants fan. But I've got absolutely no problems being the one to eulogize one of the most respected figures in the 21st century NFL....

Golfer Wins First LPGA Event, Honor Of Being Molested By Frenchmen
Congratulations to Evian Masters winner Ai Miyazato, whose reward is this unsettling photographic commentary on the French libido, golf's patriarchy, modern Orientalism and the staggering inability of women's golf to devise a trophy that doesn't seem vaguely cocklike....

FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...

Dr. James Andrews Giveth and Taketh Away
Orthopedic Hall of Famer Dr. James Andrews has saved the careers of countless athletes with his special brand of ligament justice, but occasionally he makes an oops and cripples healthy people for the rest of their lives. No one's perfect....

Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...

The First Sideline Reporter: "All Of This Was Just Nonsense"
The sideline reporter was young and attractive and more or less an open appeal to the lower enthusiasms of sports fans. The year was 1974. Jim Lampley was here to tell America about mascots and homecoming queens....

Japan Learns How To Lose From Notre Dame
Lou Holtz coached up the Fighting Irish and, afterward, a losing coach bemoaned a moral victory, so Saturday's college football exhibition was just like any other. Except Notre Dame won. And the game was in Japan....

David Beckham's Hecklers Not So Tough After All
David Beckham had another run-in with fans—with the notoriously nasty Kansas City soccer scene—but the where and why is not really important. What is important, is that fans need to do a better job managing their smack talk....

A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
One of the good things about being a parent is that, during the summer, you're fully justified in eating all the goddamn ice cream you want....

One Fan Who Wasn't Invited To Super Mario's Pool Party
No wonder the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. They had a homeless, bipolar man sending them Christian music CDs, notes with dietary suggestions — no sweets! — and vitamin tips. And people say home ice is an advantage. [Post-Gazette/Puck Daddy]...

Even LeBron's High School Keepsakes Are Worth A Fortune
Every high school phenom has a scrapbook of yellowing newspaper clips in his attic, readily available for reminiscing about the glory days. It's unusual, though, for someone else to collect those mementos and sell them for $250,000 on eBay....

Ladies: If You Don't Want Men Looking At You Through A Peephole, Stop Watching Sports
I've read this column by US News & World Report writer Bonnie Erbe three times to see if I'm possibly taking the quote out of context or missing a broader issue or accidentally inhaled WD-40 but, sadly, I have not....

Choose Your Side In The Great Cycling Rivalry
Tour de France winner Alberto Contador is celebrating his big victory by throwing "teammate" Lance Armstrong under the bus, instead of pushing him under an actual moving bus, which would have made the race infinitely more exciting....