a Page 7959 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ricky Rubio To Remain In Spain
Rubio, Spain's Pistola Pedro, "will remain in Spain to play for his DKV Joventut basketball team for the remaining two years of his contract rather than try to move to the NBA this season, El Periodico reported today." [Pioneer Press]...
A Nutty Theory About Lance Armstrong
A couple of scientists argue that Lance Armstrong did indeed employ certain exotic performance-enhancing procedures before his run of seven consecutive Tour De France victories: namely, getting his diseased testicle lopped off....
The One With People Drinking And The Return Of The Fanny Cough Yarn-Spinner
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum....
<em>Fantasy Football: The Musical</em> Needs Your Help
Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!...
Racist European Soccer Fans, Go Sit In A Corner
"A referee should first demand over the public address system that fans stop their racist behavior. If they fail to do so, the game should be suspended for five to 10 minutes, with teams sent to the locker rooms." [AP]...
The New York Mets Have A Furry Run-In On Road Trip
Those injury-riddled New York Bastard Mets have struggled recently, so this recent road trip could serve as a self-reflective haven for players, coaches, and media. Unless the Pittsburgh hotel they're staying in is having a furry convention....
A Mexican Murder Mystery Featuring Masked Mini-Wrestlers A Roving Gang Of Hookers And Perez Hilton
I always enjoy news stories that appear to be plucked from the mind of a struggling screenwriter deep in the throes of a salvia trip. Like this one about two tiny Mexican wrestlers found dead in a shady hotel room....
Next Thing You Know, They'll Play La Marseillaise For Andy Roddick
Andy Murray is British, so naturally, he's the local favorite at Wimbledon. Hey, that would make for a sappy Rick Reilly video essay, complete with "Das Deutschlandlied," the British national anthem, as background music....
U.S. Olympians Will Replace Berets With Snowflake Sweaters
Polo Ralph Lauren re-upped their rights to design the United States' Olympic garb in 2010 and 2012, and the planned attire for Vancouver includes "zip-up snowflake sweaters, knit caps and parkas." No wonder all the other countries are intimidated. [WSJ]...
I Got Sol But I'm Not A Soldier
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Scott Boras' Land Rover Attacked; Suspects Include Just About Everyone In The World
Someone took an "unknown hard, long object" to Scott Boras' Land Rover while it was parked outside a Newport Beach restaurant. Damage totaled $2,000, but only after bitter negotiations between Boras and his claims adjuster. [Corona Del Mar Today]...
Just In Case You Still Haven't Booked Your Summer Vacation
Former NFL/AFL kicker Paul Edinger has a kicking camp in Costa Rica. He named the camp "Kickin It In Costa Rica" where he offers his professional services to young kickers who aspire to be professionals. In Costa Rica....
Alexis Arguello's Death, Prefigured
Alexis Arguello, the Nicaraguan boxing legend who was found dead early Wednesday of a gunshot wound to the chest, led a demon-haunted life that he nearly ended by his own hand 25 years ago. From a 1985 Sports Illustrated story:...
Jack Clark: Still Hating On The Mets
Back in the days of the old National League East, it was the St. Louis Cardinals that declared themselves mortal enemies of the New York Mets. But even time and realignment can't stop Jack Clark from holding a grudge....
Chicago Blackhawks To Lose The Next 12 Stanley Cup Finals
Marian Hossa (who is 30) just signed a 12-year contract with the Chicago Blackhawks, after allegedly turning down a 10-year deal from the Red Wings. This guy really knows how not to pick 'em. [NHL.com]...
New, Fancy-Talking NFLPA Boss Knows His Shakespeare, Young Jeezy
DeMaurice Smith, the rookie executive director of what's left of the NFLPA, is dropping some serious oratory on his constituents these days, name-checking Hamlet, Nicolas Sarkozy, Napoleon, Iran and Young Jeezy, all in one speech. He's the realest!...
The Jay Mariotti Online Express Could Be Headed Back To Chicago
The Rumor: Jay Mariotti's death wish/dream to return to the Chicagoland newspaper universe is almost complete — he's finally heading to the Chicago Tribune. It's just unfortunate that neither he nor anyone at the paper will talk about it....