a Page 7987 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....

Why Do The White Sox Need Think They Need Pitching Help Anyway?
Poor Bartolo Colon. 8 runs (only one earned, though!) in two innings of work and then the world caved in. [Yahoo!]...

La La Vazquez Says Dallas Fans Have Racist Family Values
So the Dallas-Denver brouhaha is not going away. La La Vazquez is still talking about her long night in Big D, only the language is getting much more colorful. She says fans were throwing around words like "bastard" and "fuck" and that one that even I won't spell without asterisks....

Raiders Come To Terms With Fast, Toolsy Budget Airliner
The Raiders are teaming up with "low-budget, long-haul" Air Asia X and sticking their logo on the tailfin of an aircraft, now dubbed the "Commitment To Excellence" plane. A sad metaphor waiting to happen. [Examiner]...

For The Young Self-Starter Looking For A New Challenge This Summer
Apparently all 10 teams of the Lingerie Football League are now interviewing applicants for their internship program. Goldman Sachs now has competition. [NBC Los Angeles]...

Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....

Fake Ben Roethlisberger Has Internet Cancer
Terrible news, everybody. The cyber weirdo who is trolling the internet pretending to be Ben Roethlisberger has imaginary cancer. There's a PayPal link below where you can help send him an virtual bouquet of AOL sign-up CDs....

Beware The Flying Sausage Casings At Nat's Games
The Nationals are having a helluva year. Misspelled uniforms. Misspelled bats. They suck. Now sausage-shooting meltdowns: "They were very clearly exploding as they were shot out, and we could easily see the bun and foil that were laying on the warning track." [WaPo]...

Ricky Rubio Is Already Getting The Hang Of The American Game
The ping-pong balls have barely settled, and already Ricky Rubio, the mopheaded Spaniard who reminds everyone of Pistol Pete if Pistol Pete had discovered the defensive crouch, is strongarming teams in the NBA draft....

The NFL's Alarming DUI Problem
Interesting story by Yahoo's Josh Peter about the NFL's most under-reported problem: "At least 73 players on NFL rosters during the 2008 season have been arrested on charges of driving under the influence..."Yahoo!]...

At Least One Person Still Collects Football Cards
I was not aware that anyone still manufactured or collected football cards—I kind of chose not to be aware—but the market is apparently still strong enough that an on-duty police officer recently felt compelled to shoplift some from a general store....

March Of The Cohn Heads
My ex-girlfriend, Linda Cohn, has started a new personal blog for her fans. There are lots of photos, words, etc.. And Cohn Heads. Plenty of Cohn Heads. [Linda Cohn Fan Club]...

Sex With A Professional Bull Rider: Not Eight Seconds
For those of you who've wondered what sex with a professional bull rider sounds like, here is your answer: "It sounds like fish slapping on pavement."...

Mark Sanchez Got More Than Free Trunks Out Of That Photo Shoot
You know Jets hunk Mark Sanchez and Hilary Rhoda, that super duper model who he was rubbing up against in his GQ photo shoot? Yeah, they're totally doing it now. [NY Post]...

Who Won The WWE-Denver Nuggets Cage Match?
World Wrestling Entertainment is moving next's Monday's "RAW" session from Denver's Pepsi Center to L.A.'s Staples Center, because of the conflict with Game 4 of the NBA Finals. But which petulant business owner really comes out as the victor here?...

White Sox Fans...Meet Your New Starting Pitcher
Pending approval, Padres' ace Jake Peavy will reportedly go to the White Sox for some little people aka "prospects." [SI.com]...

New Land Shark Stadium Upgrades Include Creepy Old Man Cam
There are plenty of new amenities for Parrotheads and Dolphinheads alike at Jimmy Buffet's Land Shark Stadium, but one of the most potentially troublesome is a device for the well-to-do horny fellas not interested in the game to eye-grope the cheerleaders....

That Wasn't Supposed To Happen Was It?
The Cavaliers had been sitting for eight days after sweeping the first two rounds, but that didn't seem to matter when they rolled out to a 15-point lead in the first half. Then the second half happened, and somehow when the final buzzer sounded LeBron and company were not ahead on the scoreboard. W...

This Is What Happens When You Annnounce A Woman's Age On Camera
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Holy Crap, David Ortiz Hit A Home Run
Light-hitting Boston infielder becomes the 320th major league player to hit a home run this season. It's okay to believe in America again, people. [Boston Herald]...