a Page 7987 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wealthy Jets Receiver Braylon Edwards Gets Pinched For DWI In City With Most Cabs Ever
After being stopped by police for driving erratically and blowing twice the legal limit, chinbeard enthusiast Braylon Edwards was charged with DWI Tuesday. The Jets, who have a car service for partying players, were astonished someone actually drove in Manhattan. [Daily News]...

After Enough Time Had Passed, Cousin Itt Finally Forgave Them For Imploding The Vet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Photo Of Jason Whitlock Is Begging To Have A Hamburger Photoshopped Into It
Congratulations to our nemesis Jason Whitlock for the big NYT's write-up on his controversial sports journalism and how it's propelled him to media fame and a fortune big enough to own a house in Los Angeles and one in Kansas City....

One Cross-Country Gal's Surname Must Be A Nightmare For Headline Writers
There's a high school cross country runner named Madz Negro who keeps making news due to her running prowess. This results in headlines from the Springfield, Ill. State Journal-Register like this. Or like this....

So, The FBI Stopped A Suspected Terrorist From Blowing Up Wrigley Field And Environs
A Lebanese man was arrested early Sunday and has been charged with one count each of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and attempted use of an explosive device after allegedly trying to blow up Wrigley Field. Typical Cardinals fan....

"ITS 2 AM, SO I WILL END WITH DISGUST FOR YOUR AWFUL BEHAVIOR," And Other Emails About The U.S. Open
Well, our little rant about the festival of ineptitude that was the television coverage of the U.S. Open men's final seemed to touch a nerve....

OU Mascot Not Actually OU Student
Rufus Bobcat, who tried to tackle Brutus Buckeye, isn't even an OU student, and tried out for the mascot gig just for the chance to assault Brutus....

Do You Believe In Owning A Sad, Bedridden Ex-Hockey Player's Cherished Keepsake? Yes!
A gold medal that once belonged to Mark Wells, the last player selected for the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team, now laid low by a genetic disease of the spinal cord, is going up for auction. [Puck Daddy]...

This Should Have Been The NFL's Concussion Poster
Our friends at 12 Angry Mascots have announced a winner in their contest to redesign the NFL's concussion awareness poster. This is the best; honorable mentions inside....

The Guy Who Bought That Georgia Player's Jersey Is Innocent, Or Something
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the guy who bought A.J. Green's jersey....

Notes On "Campdick": A Former NFLer On Ines Sainz And Locker-Room Sexual Tension
A babe reporter walks into a locker room. Catcalls ensue; jock straps fly; penises shrivel. She doesn't understand the words, but she understands the sexual tension. It's palpable when an attractive woman appears. Palpable. Players call it campdick....

The New Internet-Friendly OK Go Music Video Is Here
Viral (music) video makers OK Go are back with another video. Gone are the treadmills and creative use of green screens, in are cup-stacking and a bunch of highly trained super dogs. It's better than "November Rain's" video, I guess....

Look At The Fucking End Of This Trend: Sayonara, Hoopsters
The Hoopsters brought us a lot of enjoyment over the last two months. However, now that summer's over and the New York Times is writing about them—and quoting me—it's time to say goodbye....

Has Jose Mourinho Got A Spot Of OCD Happening?
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Roethlisbergerfreude Reaches Its Hilarious Apex
Reader Mike sent this in today and honestly, what's not to like about anthropomorphic toys acting like their real-world counterparts? Photoshop job or no Photoshop job, the answer is nothing....

Definitive Proof That Time Expired Before MSU's Miracle, And Why It Doesn't Matter
An enterprising soul has gone frame-by-frame and determined that the Spartans' ballsy fake should never have counted. And yet, the refs called the play exactly as they should have....

Embracing The Dog Killer: Michael Vick Is The Best Football Player In The Universe Ever
Last August I interrupted a weeknight of carousing to go home and write about my hometown Eagles' signing of Michael Vick because I was just so dumbfounded by the move. My headline was "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST." It's more apt now....

Weekend Winner: Sparty's Balls (If Not His Vascular System)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio, who beat Notre Dame on a wonderfully idiotic fake field goal in overtime and then survived a "minor" heart attack....

UF Little Person Strips, Tries To Fight Tennessee Fans
It ends pretty much as you'd expect these things to; with a boot to the chest....

Mascot On Mascot Violence At Ohio State (UPDATE: Brutus Speaks)
Ohio's Rufus Bobcat was lying in wait for Brutus Buckeye as he led OSU onto the field. A little harmless(?) mascot fun escalated to the point where security had to escort a man in a big foam suit off the field....