a Page 7991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Lackey's Two-Pitch Debut Was Inspiring
What's with pitchers throwing at Ian Kinsler? First it was Bobby Jenks' $750 high heat, and now Angels' starter John Lackey decided the Rangers' second baseman needed a good plunking....
Patrick Ewing Predicts Magic Will Win Game 7
But Doc Rivers knows better: "Oh that's great. We feel great about that. I've been on those Knicks teams where he had some predictions." [Green Street]...
Big Papi Needs A Hug
Theories abound as to why David Ortiz continues to be Big Stinky this season: lingering wrist injury, PED withdrawal, swine flu, etc....
Don't Make Any Loud Noises While Tyler Hansbrough Writes His Name
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
One Connecticut High School Golf Team Shows Why Everyone On The Planet Hates Them
"We were going to have to bag it. It would have been a bummer. I just called my dad. He has a friend who has a couple of puddle-jumper planes." [Greenwich Time]...
I Have Seen The Devil, And He Is A German Cycling Fan
Dios mio! El Diablo! Lucifer, a.k.a. Deutschland's Didi Senft, crashed the Giro of Italy earlier this week in his own unique, horrifically terrifying fashion. You know times are tough when even Satan needs corporate sponsorship....
YouTube: Where Enjoyable Parodies Happen
I solemnly swear never to get sick of these send-ups of the NBA's "Where Will Amazing Happen This Year?" commercials....
If You Ban It, They Won't Come
"It" being "unlimited beer." This, and six other cogent reasons why this year's Preakness might be Baltimore's last....
Good Luck Charm From Girl In Hospital Helps Yanks Win
Here's a nice backstory to the Yankees' comeback win over Minnesota yesterday. Seems Brett Gardner's inside-the-park home run in the seventh was preordained....
Here's The Video From Corie Blount's Sentencing Hearing
Complete with the judge's "Cheech and Chong" line (starting at the 0:50 mark) that gave Chris McKendry quite the case of the giggle fits....
Rookie Millionaire Versus Obsessive Super Fan - Who Ya Got?
Last Wednesday, Marlins' rookie Chris Coghlan hit his first career homerun. He didn't anticipate trouble getting the ball back. Then again, he also didn't anticipate it being caught by professional ballhawk "THE HAPPY YOUNGSTER"!...
Manchester United Secures Third Straight Premier League Title
A 0-0 draw with Arsenal did the trick. Man U is now tied with Liverpool with 18 titles all-time. And now I'm going to stop talking about soccer before I get something wrong....
NFL Recognizes Chad Johnson's Name Change, With Unsurprising Annoying Bureaucratic Twist
The good news for Johnson: the NFL will let him wear his new name on his jersey this year. The bad news? Because of some careless form-filling, it won't appear quite as he'd like....
Michael Phelps Wins First Two Races in Return, Has a Goatee
He easily took the 200-freestyle and 100-butterfly at the Charlotte Ultraswim, and has a chance for another three way wins this weekend. By the time London 2012 rolls around, I'll bet he's sporting full dreadlocks....
Phillies Visit White House
Are they saying "boo" or "Boo-rack"? Get it? Because people from Philly are always booing stuff!...
Bills' Hall-of-Famer Bruce Smith Charged With DUI
All Bills' bad behaviour, all the time! The all-time sacks leader was pulled over and arrested early Friday in Virginia Beach, Virginia....
Bills' Fullback Arrested on Charge of Exposing Sexual Organs
Urgent bulletin! New York City's public masturbation epidemic is spreading Northwards across the state!...
Wake Up In The Morning, Your Alarm Gives Out a Warning...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Ted Nugent Would Kill You If He Could
Whatever political side you hang your coonskin hat on, you may or may not think hunting is a sport. But Ted Nugent, righty rockstar and murderer of many woodland creatures, is always an enjoyable interview....
Manny Apologizes To Teammates For Ruining Their Season
The AP's source in the locker room described Ramirez as being "uncomfortable" during the meeting. Still, handshakes and bro-hugs were plentiful after he spoke. [AP]...