a Page 8223 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Exercises In Immolation
We're going to try something today that pretty much proves definitively that we don't like ourselves very much. At 10 a.m., Congress is having yet another Session On Steroids. Instead of just baseball being under the hot lights of elderly Southern men's inquiries, the commissioners of all five "m...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Fishing The Remote Out Of The Koi Pond ... Pistons Go Up 3-2 Against Pacers. Scoring 67 points in the first half, Indiana went on to ... wait ... 67 points for the game? The fat fan who tried to slug Ron Artest suits up for Pacers in Game 6. Yankees Win 10th Straight. Jason Gia...
Rodman Still Alive. Seriously. He Really Is.
Buried in a news-and-notes column in last Tuesday's Chicago Tribune was this little gem: Dennis Rodman is writing another book. This one is called "The Worm Returns," and details the two years since Rodman quit drinking (which is just a waste, really). We're sorry we just posted about Dennis Rodman;...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Game 5: Indiana Pacers at Detroit Pistons. Seriously, guys, just get in fight. Honestly. We don't mind. Be our guest. Game 5: Seattle Supersonics at San Antonio Spurs. Ray Allen looks to top that sex scene in He Got Game. Though that would ...
Romanowski Admits To 'Roiding: Earth Shakes
It has come to this: People are admitting to taking steroids in order to promote a movie. Bill Romanowski, in an interview with The Rocky Mountain News, shocks absolutely no one by confessing to using steroids. His quote: "It wasn't about illegal. I was doing things that they couldn't test for. As s...
Rose Talks To Stat Nerds
We have always liked Baseball Prospectus: It's just a bunch of scrappy guys with laptops who realized it was possible that everyone in charge of baseball was an idiot. But now that they've gone mainstream, they've grown up from crunching stats on the back of Outback napkins to rubbing elbows with th...
Meet Chris Heroman
Everything about Chris Heroman is worthy of worship. Look at that name: Hero, Man! According to USA Today, Heroman is a student at Louisiana State University who, on a whim, decided to declare himself eligible for the NBA Draft. Heroman says he's forgoing his final year of college eligibility — thou...
Glazer Throws Weirdo Fans a Bone
The impotent protest of Manchester United fans against the sale of the team to American Malcolm Glazer has inspired giggles from the rest of the world and yawns from the Buccaneers owner. Now, Glazer's representitives will meet with Premier League head Richard Scudamore to go over Glazer's "intentio...
Welcome Back, Bill!
Bill Simmons has returned, with, of course, another excuse. Posting anothershambling "More Cowbell" column (a name that had gotten old before it even started), Big Bill apologizes, saying that he's still deep in edits on his book that we've already read. Other vintage Bill highlights, with what he's...
Creator of Batting Helmet Dies From Something Other Than a Head Injury (Obviously)
Charlie Muse, the inventor of the batting helmet, has died. He worked for the Pittsburgh Pirates for 52 years, mostly as the traveling secretary (his assistant was not George Costanza). "The players laughed at the first helmets, called them miner's helmets," Muse said about his invention. "They said...
"We Went To The Super Bowl. Uh, Flip Card. Daunte Speaks Next."
We know you're watching the George Lopez Show anyway, so we shouldn't need to tell you this, but if you're in the mood for pained line readings and rapidly declining hairlines, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper are guest starring on the season (though, sadly,...
Oh, And We Shall Make You Carry The Mules On Your Back As Well
China Expects Yao To Play On National Team Again (China Daily)...
Mike Greenberg's One Joke
We have always been curious about the life that ESPN anchor/radio host/all around nerd Mike Greenberg lives his life. His radio show starts at 6 a.m., where he and professional oaf Mike Golic play out tired Odd Couple gags for four hours. We imagine he's then in meetings all day, grooming, nodding, ...
Is Barry Zito Gay?
Our friends at OutSports.com have posted a cartoon about media reaction to gay athletes, asking whether or not A's lefthander Barry Zito is gay. Of all the homophobia that's rampant in sports, we've always wondered what A's general manager Billy Beane thinks about it all. After all, he shares the sa...
Ron Mexico Lives On!
We were just directed to the "Letters" page of Ron Mexico.com, the enterprising Web site selling T-shirts (and, ugh, thongs) branded with the publicity-avoiding moniker Michael Vick used while receiving treatments for herpes. Some highlights:...
The Tao of Drew Carey
Harvey Araton of The New York Times must have woke up sometime last week and said, "What's a new angle on this Phil Jackson story? There has to be one. I know ... I'll interview a Buddhist. In Cleveland. They have to have one, right?" Apparently, they do, and Araton interviews him about Phil Jackson...
Bud Selig Is JACKED UP!
We can't quite break with the new windmill-tilting conventional wisdom that Bud Selig is secretly a great commissioner. He still seems more like Jack Lemmon's Shelly "the Machine" Levine to us; a sad old salesman who has himself in over his head. But he's starting to get some good press — finally — ...
Rex Chapman's Jungle Fever
Rex Chapman was always one of our favorite NBA players. The guy couldn't play defense, couldn't pass and was, sadly, too white to disguise rapid baldness with a shaved head. But he could shoot, and basketball is always more fun when people can shoot. And now, thanks to a set of recent of interviews,...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Trying To Figure Out If Ray Romano Is Actually Older Than Peter Boyle ... Yankees Win Ninth Straight. Corpose of Bernie Williams hits a grand slam and, somehow, makes his own way all around the bases. Padres Move Into Tie For First. Somehow, Julio Franco stole a base. Seriously...
THE Ohio State University
You know you're having a rough week when your kicker is busted for selling weed. Jonathan Skeete, a freshman kicker for Ohio State, was busted late last week for selling a half pound of marijuana to an undercover officer, according to the Ohio State student newspaper, The Lantern (good job, kids!). ...