aba Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The MLB Playoffs
Time to ring in a new annual tradition around these parts, in which we say horrible, awful things about all the teams involved in the playoffs this year. Let’s do this....

Your Floribama Bloodthirst Open Thread
In a perfect world, this here should be a "Here's Video From Gate 42, Section U-1, Row 1, Seats 3-8 of Bryant-Denny Stadium Showing Gator Fan/Quad-Karate Master Meeting Up With The Retards He Taunted Last Week."...

Tough-Talking Gators Fan Might Be Legally Prohibited From Attending Game
Remember that obnoxious Florida fan who challenged the state of Alabama to a fight and warned them about his karate skills, all the while wiping off palm sweat due to his close proximity to a woman? He's allegedly on probation in Florida....

Rays Attendance To Mysteriously Spike Tomorrow
The Rays will give out 20,000 free tickets to Wednesday's game. Tampa Bay Fans should really stay home and watch the Ken Burns doc, so they learn that baseball existed before October 2008....

Last Night's Winner: All The Tired Clichés About Baseball In Florida
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Rays fans, who get to read this morning about how they're pathetic, just because they didn't show up to a meaningless, late-September, Monday night game against a last-place team....

Area Man Shows Disdain For Team By Purchasing Team Merchandise
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Getting Around Local NFL Blackouts, The Fun And Illegal Way
This is the story of a bar with a modicum of computer knowledge, and a dream. That dream: to watch the Buccaneers get massacred, even though the game wasn't sold out and therefore not shown on local Tampa television....

Here's A Video Of A Hot Chick Wearing Gator Colors And A 6'5" Guy Who Probably Won't Live Much Longer
The Florida/Alabama kickoff ain't for six days but after this video makes the rounds, the pack of Crimson Tide fans seeking blood shall form at the "northwest side of the stadium" or "Gate 42, Section U-1, Row 1, Seats 3-8."...

The One Where A Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Her Boobs In The Hope Of Getting A Job (NSFW)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business. (NSFW)...

Last Night's Winner: Felix Hernandez's Chances Of Not Getting Jobbed Out Of A Cy Young
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Felix Hernandez, who probably locked up his Cy Young last night along about the time the Rays hung their seventh run on CC Sabathia....

Little Kid Definitely Does Not Want To Be Put In The Auburn Store
This tyke has an SEC-Speed meltdown at the mall after a seemingly empty threat. Laugh now, until it comes out that "The Auburn Store" is code for some kind of sex dungeon. [via Gossip Sports]...

God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....

Here's a Video of a Cat on the Turntables
Meet DJ Kitty. He's kind of a rally monkey but from the looks at this official MLB video of him attempting to get Tampa Bay Rays fans to jumpjumpjump..., he's got strings all over him for marketing's sake. [MLB.com]...

Guy Without Arms or Legs Swims the English Channel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Naked Photo Of Someone Who's Probably Not Nick Saban's Daughter Is About To Go Viral
It started off with an email from a man named David: "Any interest in Nick Saban's daughter, who is a sophomore at Alabama, topless?" And then some other dude sent us the pic rapidly circulating around SEC cell phones. (NSFW)...

Oh Look, Someone Compared a South Carolina Win to 9/11 (Updated)
You gotta hand it to Doug Jolley of the illustrious GameCockAnthem.com. He captures what an early-season SEC loss must feel like....

Moroccan Keeper Jumps The Gun In Penalty Shootout
Hilarious scenes during a penalty shootout between Moroccan top division teams Maghreb Fez and FAR Rabat, in the brilliantly named ‘Throne Cup'....

Last Night's Winner: Mike Krzyzewski, Restarting The Cold War
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the revival of Soviet-American tensions, exacerbated by a little trash talking from Coach K at the FIBA World Championships. Duck and cover, kids...

Now We Know Where MLS Stands In The Sports Pecking Order, And It's Not Pretty
The KC Wizards are forced to reschedule a game because the semi-pro Kansas City T-Bones need the stadium for a Northern League playoff game that night. Let's hope the new date doesn't conflict with any 4-H meetings. [KCWizards.com]...

For Fuck's Sake, Bama Fans
Tide fans spend way too much time debating whether this cloud looks like Bear Bryant, or maybe "Abe Lincoln on a personal watercraft." Way to live up to your stereotypes, folks. [ABC33, via EDSBS]...