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MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he kn...
Beijing Opening Ceremony Performers And American Astronauts Have Much In Common
Say, remember those Opening Ceremonies from Beijing the other night? Pretty awesome, right? There was a globe! And glowsticks! And a scrim! And all kinds of crazy shit! As we now know, many of the elements from the ceremony were faked (or as fake as something involving a staged presentation can be)...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "For best Olympic torch-lighting moment, I'd have to go with the '94 Lillehammer Games." — Yanks_Jets_Knicks4lifePrevious ESPN Featured Comment of the Week, plus a Fea...
About Last Night
I feel a great disturbance in The Force ... • NBA: Derrick Rose goes to Bulls with No. 1 pick; Knicks' fans cheer enthusiastically for their top choice (just kidding; they take to the streets and riot as expected). • Tennis: The days of Andy Roddick are finished. Let the Janko Tipsarevic Era begin. ...
About Last Night
What you missed while celebrating your city's choice as the Nation's Sweatiest City ... • NBA: Jermaine O’Neal to be sent from Pacers to Raptors for T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic, 17th pick in the draft and a player to be named. But it's not official yet, so don't spread this around. [Yahoo Sports] • ...
About Last Night
What you missed while cowering before the might of Milk & Cheese, Dairy Products Gone Bad ... • College World Series: Fresno, birthplace of Cher, Kevin Federline and Trent Dilfer, represent! This series is tied. • Spain invades Wimbledon, enslaves native people, demands to know where gold is hidden....
About Last Night
What you missed while observing just another typical day in Arkansas ... • College World Series: Hey Bulldog ... Georgia takes 1-0 series lead over Fresno State. • Tennis: Federer Express ... Roger Federer, Serena Williams among usual suspects to win first-round Wimbledon matches. • MLB: Ben Sheets,...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
About Last Night
What you missed while listening to Class Clown long into the night ... • College World Series: Year of the Bulldog ... Georgia will meet Fresno State in finals. Where's that Snausages vendor? • NHL: Hockey's Cold War is here. First on Russia's list: Destroy Moose and Squirrel. • MLB: As relievers-tu...
About Last Night...
What you missed while kissing the oranje goodbye in a most tasteful manner... • MLB: Micah Owens and the Diamondbacks fell 6-1 in Minnesota. You'd think they'd let him bat, but no. • CBB: The Tar Heels survive elimination thanks to another late home run. • Boxing: Chazz Witherspoon was fortunate to...
About Last Night
What you missed while marching on Fairfax with your friends from the JDL... • Boxing: Robinson Caruso's man-servant exposed the Butler, a previously undefeated heavyweight fraud. • MLB: The "hottest team in baseball" ran into Edinson Volquez. • CWS: Tim Federowicz was the hero for UNC with a ninth i...
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that you can't go more than six months without seeing this video ... • MLB: Mariners fire John McLaren, promise more housecleaning; won't be satisfied until Ichiro is left standing on field by himself. • Beijing Olympics: Dwyane Wade to be named to U.S. Olympic basket...
About Last Night
What you missed while kicking around the fire footbag ... • MLB: Yankees win sixth straight, would like you to witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station. • College World Series: Porn name or future major league star? Cord Phelps helps Stanford eliminate Miami, 8-3. •Soccer...
About Last Night
What you missed while loading the photon torpedoes of love ... • NBA: Celtics beat Lakers 103-83 131-92 to take series, move on to face ... wait, it's over? The NBA season is over? Oh blessed summertime, I can embrace you now! Fresh air, flowers, glorious sun! WE ARE FREE! • College baseball: Smack ...
Hank Steinbrenner Is Just Boiling Over With Ideas
Pity the poor New York media. (A group in which, it occurs to us with a start, we are about to be considered a member.) They're so wistful for the old days of George Steinbrenner that they're desperately trying to shoehorn son Hank, the slow one, into the role. It's not working....
About Last Night
What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ... • MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6. • Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland. • NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there....
About Last Night
The joke is on the leopard ... he got off at the wrong stop ... • It was awfully nice of the Lakers to allow the Celtics to win the NBA title at home. (NOTE: Should LA come back and win this, this post never happened. Got it?). • MLB: Yankees beat Astros 13-0, and you can make your own damned Wang j...
About Last Night...
What you missed while shopping for the ten best fictional dads for Fathers Day... • U.S. Open: Tiger Uppercut! The one-and-a-half-kneed wonder leads Lee Westwood by one shot. But will we see the Hundred Hand Slap prevail in the final round? • NCAA Baseball: Stanford scores 11 runs in the 9th to beat...
About Last Night
What you missed while attending the retirement party for your commenter screenname, the one with the dangly hyphens... • U.S. Open: Tiger Woods would be in first, if it weren't for that meddling Stuart Appleby. • MLB: Yankees beat 'Stros 2-1, and Joba Chamberlain is up to six — 6! — innings. Ah ah a...
About Last Night
What you missed while being reminded once again that you don't mess with the Zohan ... • NBA: That's what you get for turning off the game in the third quarter. Celtics take 3-1 series lead over Lakers. • Golf: You can all just eat Kevin Streelman's U.S. Open dust, suckers! • NHL: All your Lester B....