ac Page 1071 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yankees Suspend Beer Vendor For Joking With Red Sox Pitcher
Steve Lazarus has been hawking beers at Yankee Stadium for 35 years. But he didn't get to work the first two games of the ALDS over the weekend because the team has accused him of "harrassing" Red Sox pitcher Alfredo Aceves. According to what Lazarus told the New York Post, this is how his encounte...

In Praise Of Football Stupidity
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

It's Your Weekly Mark Sanchez Lowlight Reel! Featuring Appearances By Joe Flacco
The ineptness at the quarterback position last night was, in a word, staggering. Mark Sanchez—this year's king of the lowlight reel—fumbled four times and threw an interception, while Flacco fumbled once and threw an interception as well. Together, the two completed just 21 of 66 passes. If you sp...

Phil Simms Invites Himself To The Telestrator Dong Party
Wrote tipster Tom B., "Phil Simms drew a cock and balls shooting a small load during the Packers game!" However, like-minded tipster Andrew H. presented it without comment. Potato. Potato....

Watch Calvin Johnson Make An Incredible Catch During The Lions Comeback Win Over Dallas
Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford didn't have any open receivers. That doesn't matter when you can throw an alley-oop in triple-covered Calvin Johnson's direction....

The Jaguars Grounds Crew Does Not Abide By Traditional NFL Field-Painting Rules
On a traditional NFL field, the arrows next to the big numbers painted every 10 yards point toward the nearest end zone. The Jacksonville Jaguars ground crew does not adhere to those stupid traditions at EverBank Field....

A Big Arkansas Comeback Called For A Shot Of A Big Arkansas Fan
Arkansas was down 35-17 to Texas A&M at the half. They took a 42-38 lead with 1:41 left. Then, when they stopped the Aggies on a fourth and two, this luscious fan ate it up. Woo Pig Sooie! ...

Your NLDS Games 1 Open Thread
Milwaukee hosts Arizona, first pitch scheduled for 2:07 p.m. eastern. Then, the Cardinals try to beat Roy Halladay and the Phillies starting at 5:07 p.m....

JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...

Al Unser Jr., Two-Time Indy 500 Champ, Arrested For Drag Racing While Drunk
"Brown said Unser was drag racing another car in his Suburban and was going around 101 mph before sheriff's deputies caught up to him. ... According to a sheriff's report, Unser smelled of alcohol and was slurring his speech. Sheriff's deputies said his blood-alcohol content was twice the legal lim...

The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Did Not Know It Would Be Seen As Racist
From the AP: "The lawyer for a man accused of throwing a banana at a black NHL player says his client deeply regrets what he did and had no idea his actions could be seen as racist."...

A Sampling From One Artist's Effort To Draw All 295 Members Of The Baseball Hall Of Fame
Summer Anne Burton is drawing every member of the National Baseball Hall of Fame in chronological order. She began the project in January, 2011, and she would be thrilled to draw your favorite baseball player for you. Here are some of her drawings. Click the images to expand....

Watch Harold Reynolds And Dan Plesac React To Last Night's Baseball Games Like The Rest Of Us Did
Your morning roundup for Sept. 29, the day we learned rotting fruit was an aphrodisiac. Video via Midwest Sports Fans. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Watch Bemused Florida Coach Will Muschamp Ask An Analogically Clumsy Reporter "What's A Padawan?"
In journalism school, as far as I know, they don't teach you to begin your SEC press conference questions with "Excuse the Star Wars reference, but..." You're supposed to inquire along the lines of "How do you stop that guy, coach," and "Would you like to score more points in the second half?" Ala...

The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Has Been Arrested
Police in London, Ontario, held a press conference this afternoon to announce the arrest of 26-year-old London resident Christopher Moorhouse for allegedly throwing a banana at Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers. The incident happened when Simmonds, one of the NHL's few black players, was at...

HOLY SHIT TOM BRADY CUT HIS HAIR
What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the ...

There Is An NBA GM Out There Who Doesn't Know How To Use Google
Ever wonder if the men who run our professional basketball teams are as clueless as the men who were running our professional baseball teams (as depicted by Michael Lewis in his 2003 book Moneyball)? There is no definitive answer to that question, yet, but we do now know that at least one NBA GM doe...

After An 18-Second, 80-Yard Game-Winning Drive, Football Team Has To Answer To Guy In Banana Suit
In Minnesota small-college football circles, Augsburg College's stunning upset of St. John's University is being called "The Miracle in Collegeville." That's an apt name considering the game was played in Collegeville and anytime you engineer an 80-yard game-winning drive that starts with 18 secon...

So, Michelle Beadle Apparently Sucked On Linda Cohn's Leg Today
Two girls, one Nike product-placement victory. Per @SarahSpain, "Thank god @ESPN_Michelle had that rattlesnake training. Her Texas upbringing saved @lindacohn 's life." Aw. (H/T Obsessed With Sports)...

The C-Roll's Happy Ending: A Back-Row Handjob At A Marlins Game (NSFW)
The finale of the C-Roll brings us, presumably, to what we now call Sun Life Stadium, where young love once possibly blossomed in the back row of some forgotten section—the details are now lost to history. There's no game audio attached to this one, so there's no way to determine when it was shot,...