ac Page 1072 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....

Prepare A Banquet For Kegasus, The New Preakness Centaur Mascot
The Preakness, like all of horse racing, has a problem: no one really gives a shit anymore. It got to the point where Pimlico nearly lost the race....

The Hissy Fit Over The Kings Enters Angry Letter-Writing Phase
The Maloof brothers are determined to move their basketball team to Anaheim. But Kevin Johnson, the mayor of broke-ass Sacramento, isn't having it, not unless the Maloofs first pay off the $77 million they owe. So Sacramento fired off a snippy letter to Anaheim (see below). This is correspondence fr...

The VCU Band Director Is Just As Buoyant In The Wild As He Is At The Games
A dedicated Deadspin reader, known around here as Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress, made it to San Antonio this weekend to see the finale to the Southwest Regional. Out on Saturday night, he and a friend spotted somewhat known-person Ryan Kopacsi, the gyrating director of the VCU pep band and — as Out Spor...

They're Still Playing "Friday" At NHL Games, And At Least One Grown Man Is Enjoying It
We know that internet memes generally have a very particular shelf life, and we respect that Rebecca Black's "Friday" phenomenon might have worn out its welcome by now. When we first posted the video to accompany another meme, it had 200,000 views; it now has 61 million views and a dedicated Tumbl...

40-Year-Old Sheryl Swoopes Unretires To Join Something Called "Tulsa Shock"
Sheryl Swoopes retired from the WNBA in 2008 after averaging 7 and 4 for the Seattle Storm, her worst such figures as a pro. As of 2005, Swoopes endorsed lesbian cruise line Olivia, so presumably she redeemed some vouchers to travel to Greece last year. There she played for Ravenna Esperides, alongs...

Here's A Yoga Video Involving Children And Farm Costumes That Will Freak You Out
Tipster Dave B. describes the video he sent in accordingly: "creepy fucking dude doing yoga with kids and people in farm animal costumes." He nailed it....

Packers DL Johnny Needs To Find A Legal And/Or Cheaper Way To Get His Jollies
Johnny Jolly, who was arrested in 2008 for possession of over 200 grams of codeine—and subsequently suspended for the entire 2010 NFL season—applied for reinstatement on February 11....

Let Us Rejoice In Duke's Misery
The Duke University men's basketball team has earned a special privilege in college sports and within March Madness: It will never be considered the underdog. As far as we're concerned, for as long as Coach K is patrolling the sideline and as long as his hair stays a surreal jet-black, Duke will ...

Newark A Horrible Place To Visit, But Better Than Syracuse
Yesterday, the big news was that John Calipari had moved the Wildcats out of their Newark hotel, giving some excuse about wanting a place "on the outskirts of the city ... so they didn't have any distractions." I don't know if I buy that, because I don't think you can get any more outskirty than an ...

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....

White Basketball Players Are Funny Because They're White
Make no mistake about it: "Scooch & Josepi" ain't nobody's kind of people. Per their site: "Their work covers all facets of satiracle comedy, including cultural diversity, and other controversial topics. If you don't like it…WHATEVER BRO."...

NBA Scouts Agree: Jimmer Fredette Is Very, Very White
The best part about yesterday's foreseeable New York Times story on Jimmer Fredette wasn't the obvious notion that Fredette might make for a less-than-dominant NBA player. Far better and more obvious was the list of less-than-dominant NBA players that several front-office types used to assess Fredet...

Soccer Match On Field Surrounded By Barbed Wire Unpredictably Marred By "Absurd Violence"
To some, this may look like referee Augusto Vego getting attacked by unhappy Río Segundo players in their lower-tier Argentine match with Sportivo Club....

Iowa Football Players Were Subjected To The Worst Workout Ever
Thirteen Iowa football players were admitted to the hospital in January with strange "undisclosed illnesses." A new report, released today to the state Board of Regents, attributes the hospitalizations to rhabdomyolysis, a rare muscle disorder resulting from an "intense, high-volume squat-lifting wo...

Syracuse Tries To Trademark "Orange;" Other Orange Schools Don't Like It
You can trademark anything these days. Pat Riley, of course, owns "three-peat." Michael Strahan has "Stomp You Out." Jared Allen registered "Got Strange?" But owning a swath of the color spectrum is mighty presumptuous. Since Syracuse dropped the "men" from "Orangemen," the school has been trying to...

Frank Martin Is The Most Terrifying Coach On Earth
Wisconsin beat Kansas State in the second round on Saturday, and in the post-game press conference, a reporter's question made Wildcat senior Jacob Pullen cry. Terrifying hero-coach Frank Martin came to his star's defense, and in that moment we were reminded that if Frank Martin wanted to, he coul...

See? Sometimes Your Life Can Get Better Once You Leave The NFL Behind
Note to those NFL players concerned about what to do if there is no 2011 season: start jotting down those lucid thoughts before the encephalopathy takes hold. It's good advice because Nate Jackson, former NFL player and writer for places of both distinction and ill repute, has just signed a book dea...

Duke Alums Are Worried About Craziness Of The Young Cameron Crazies
There is a crisis in Durham. Dennis and Elizabeth Chen, '02 and '00 Duke grads and presumably husband and wife, wrote a letter to the Duke Chronicle proposing a Crazie-off challenge to the university's current student body. At the Michigan game on Sunday, the letter alleges, the Crazies practiced th...

Goalkeeper Misses The Ball, Knees Opposing Player Directly In The Face
In Ukranian professional soccer action on Sunday, Volyn keeper Vitaliy Nedilko tried to collect a loose ball and instead collided directly with Luiz Adriano's face. To those who say soccer isn't a contact sport: it is when player's noses are crushed inside their faces, okay? Adriano's squad, Shakh...