ac Page 1098 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

White Basketball Players Are Funny Because They're White
Make no mistake about it: "Scooch & Josepi" ain't nobody's kind of people. Per their site: "Their work covers all facets of satiracle comedy, including cultural diversity, and other controversial topics. If you don't like it…WHATEVER BRO."...

NBA Scouts Agree: Jimmer Fredette Is Very, Very White
The best part about yesterday's foreseeable New York Times story on Jimmer Fredette wasn't the obvious notion that Fredette might make for a less-than-dominant NBA player. Far better and more obvious was the list of less-than-dominant NBA players that several front-office types used to assess Fredet...

Soccer Match On Field Surrounded By Barbed Wire Unpredictably Marred By "Absurd Violence"
To some, this may look like referee Augusto Vego getting attacked by unhappy Río Segundo players in their lower-tier Argentine match with Sportivo Club....

Iowa Football Players Were Subjected To The Worst Workout Ever
Thirteen Iowa football players were admitted to the hospital in January with strange "undisclosed illnesses." A new report, released today to the state Board of Regents, attributes the hospitalizations to rhabdomyolysis, a rare muscle disorder resulting from an "intense, high-volume squat-lifting wo...

Syracuse Tries To Trademark "Orange;" Other Orange Schools Don't Like It
You can trademark anything these days. Pat Riley, of course, owns "three-peat." Michael Strahan has "Stomp You Out." Jared Allen registered "Got Strange?" But owning a swath of the color spectrum is mighty presumptuous. Since Syracuse dropped the "men" from "Orangemen," the school has been trying to...

Frank Martin Is The Most Terrifying Coach On Earth
Wisconsin beat Kansas State in the second round on Saturday, and in the post-game press conference, a reporter's question made Wildcat senior Jacob Pullen cry. Terrifying hero-coach Frank Martin came to his star's defense, and in that moment we were reminded that if Frank Martin wanted to, he coul...

See? Sometimes Your Life Can Get Better Once You Leave The NFL Behind
Note to those NFL players concerned about what to do if there is no 2011 season: start jotting down those lucid thoughts before the encephalopathy takes hold. It's good advice because Nate Jackson, former NFL player and writer for places of both distinction and ill repute, has just signed a book dea...

Duke Alums Are Worried About Craziness Of The Young Cameron Crazies
There is a crisis in Durham. Dennis and Elizabeth Chen, '02 and '00 Duke grads and presumably husband and wife, wrote a letter to the Duke Chronicle proposing a Crazie-off challenge to the university's current student body. At the Michigan game on Sunday, the letter alleges, the Crazies practiced th...

Goalkeeper Misses The Ball, Knees Opposing Player Directly In The Face
In Ukranian professional soccer action on Sunday, Volyn keeper Vitaliy Nedilko tried to collect a loose ball and instead collided directly with Luiz Adriano's face. To those who say soccer isn't a contact sport: it is when player's noses are crushed inside their faces, okay? Adriano's squad, Shakh...

Alley-Oop To Derrick Rose Is Special
The Bulls keep winning — they beat Sacramento by 40 points last night in Chicago — and have earned the franchise's first 50-win season since the 1998 title year. They've been so good not only because their point guard is Derrick Rose, a candidate for the league MVP, but also because their team che...

Compiling The Absurd Box Score For <em>Space Jam</em>; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Space Jam by t...

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

The VCU Pep Band Makes Its Director Gyrate Uncontrollably And Sometimes Strip
This is Ryan Kopacsi, director of the very-popular VCU pep band and also, apparently, a male model. He's known around the university and amongst pep band circles for his overenthusiastic dancing and for often removing his clothing during games. At VCU, this is apparently called "TTS," or Time To S...

Even Through The Tears, Young Texas Fan Manages A Brave Hook 'Em Horns
Your morning roundup for March 21, the day shots were fired over the price of a Beefy Crunch Burrito....

Your NCAA Tournament Sweet Sixteen Finishing Touches Open Thread
In the next few hours, all attendees will have RSVP'd for the Sweet Sixteen extravaganza. The final five match-ups are Arizona vs. Texas; VCU vs. Purdue; Marquette vs. Syracuse; Illinois vs. Kansas; and in the weekend's final game, Florida State vs. Notre Dame....

Orioles Fan Booted From Spring Training Game For Yelling Racist Comments At B.J. Upton
In his updated account of today's big Spring Training matchup between Tampa and Baltimore, Marc Topkin of the St. Petersburg Times noted that Rays Manager Joe Maddon "had a fan - who was in in Orioles jersey - removed from the stadium after he was making racist comments about B.J. Upton."...

Charlie Davies Returns To Soccer With A Two-Goal Game For D.C. United
Seventeen months after getting seriously injured in a car wreck that cost him a shot at a 2010 World Cup roster spot, Charlie Davies returned to the pitch in D.C. United's season opener against Columbus last night. He scored on a penalty kick in the 63rd minute, and added a second goal about 15 mi...

Bernard Hopkins Reminds You To Have Your Pit Bulls Spayed Or Neutered
Everlasting boxer Bernard "The Executioner" Hopkins and fellow Philly pugilist Mike Jones will lend their mugs to a non-profit's campaign urging the people of Camden, NJ to get their pit bulls fixed. For context, Camden is often voted the nation's most dangerous city, and one that laid off 83 cops ...

LeBron James Turned The Atlanta Hawks Into The Cleveland Cavaliers For 12 Minutes
Your morning roundup for March 19, the day after it became wise to snatch a few domain names ending in ".xxx"....

Your Night Games Open Thread
This one's your open thread for the rest of the evening. First up we've got BU-Kansas, LIU-UNC, St. Peter's-Purdue, and Marquette-Xavier....