ac Page 1108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Bachelor Party For One William F. Leitch Begins Now ...
Who among the chosen shall die? Will it be David Hirshey? Tommy Craggs? Half the NYmag.com's editorial staff? Stay tuned for the obits on Monday....

Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Ridiculous Diamondbacks Boycott Rolls On
Because some people think a certain Arizona immigration bill is a very bad thing, many of those same people are taking it out on the Arizona Diamondbacks, threatening a boycott. This is, pardon my French, retarded....

Today In Wacky Reportage: How To Slightly Annoy Hockey Players
Whenever the Blackhawks score a goal at home, the Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" blares over the loudspeakers. A plucky reporter played it to several Canucks in an attempt either to psych them out or to recreate a moment from a terrible ABC sitcom. ...

Detroit Lions Linebacker Goes To Target, Loads Up On Jerky, Tampons, For Some Reason
Detroit linebacker Zack Follet, survivor of an encounter with regular lions, got so excited by the football Lions' drafting of a boy named Suh that he went to Target, helmet on head, to buy Band-Aids and tampons for soon-to-be-injured opponents. [Detroit4Lyfe]...

Blackhawk Duncan Keith Doesn't Appreciate You Prying Into His Finances
This video, taken during Game 4 of the Chicago-Nashville series, shows a Predators fan/heckler getting under the skin of defenseman Duncan Keith. Keith's Norris Trophy-nominated response? A refreshing Gatorade spritz. Points for accuracy immediately deducted for being a ninny. [ChicagoNow]...

What It's Like To Eat Dinner With Bill Murray
So, either your letters have been answered or you're Wes Anderson: How do you navigate the minefield of social norms and potential faux pas and handle dinner with Bill Murray? New York Magazine's Jada Yuan lays it all out....

Dumb Honky Radio Guy Fired For Doing On Twitter What Everyone In Sports Talk Does On Air
Bacsik, the former Nats reliever and leading demographer of the American Southwest, has been fired by KTCK-AM's parent company for all that "dirty Mexicans" business on Twitter the other day. Because sports-talk radio is no place for casual racism and half-drunk stupidity....

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Joe Biden Mourns The 29 Dead West Virginia Miners By Somberly Crapping On Rich Rodriguez
Here's our walking facepalm of a vice president, speaking at a memorial for the dead miners: "They loved hunting, fishing, riding horses and four-wheelers. They hated the way Coach Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan." [TNR]...

Innocent D-Backs Caught In Immigration Debate
Dave Zirin, professional contrarian, has sworn never to write about the Diamondbacks while Arizona's controversial immigration law exists. Funny, we never needed an excuse to not write about the D-Backs. Now go start flaming our comments section. [Edge of Sports]...

Bobby V Comes Out Of The Closet As Someone Who Doesn't Quite Understand The Closet Metaphor
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Alleged Racism, Confirmed Mustache At Angel Stadium
You'd think the Angels, actively marketed to Latino fans, would be the last team to have their ushers insulting a Hispanic fan for not speaking English, and giving him the finger. Wait, he was a Yankee fan? Carry on, then....

Dumb Honky Apologizes For That "Dirty Mexicans" Stuff (UPDATE)
Earlier, we mentioned former reliever Mike Bacsik's Twitter meltdown, in which he congratulated the "dirty mexicans" of San Antonio on the Spurs' victory yesterday. Here's the apology. Can u forgive him? UPDATE: Bacsik apologizes to his radio station and Jesus, too....

Manny Ramirez Heroically Shops For Discount Electronics On Injured Calf
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Big Ben Is An Artist At Heart
Like all of us, it appears Ben Roethlisberger is another failed artist. Reader Deb gives us the scoop....

LaShawn Merritt Was Trying To Get Bigger, In One Of Two Ways
The Olympic gold medalist failed a doping test, because, he says, he took a "male enhancement" product. We don't really believe that, as a giant cock would wreck a runner's wind resistance, and make a mess of the baton handoff....

Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....

<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...

Another Entry For The "Big Ben Is A Cockbag" File
A senior at Pitt passed along more tales about the putrid personality of the (allegedly) ashen-cocked quarterback. It turns out Roethlisberger's assholery is not reserved just for female bar patrons....