ac Page 1188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Only Way To Protect Your Hooves
You might think that horse racing is all about the crazy hats, but The Fan's Attic informs us that it's now all about the shoes. Hey, who isn't wearing a pair of these right now?...
Patriots' Lineman Is Oxy Fiend, Snitches On Dealer
Well, here's a bizarre story from the land of the Chowdah heads: Nick Kaczur, the New England Patriots offensive lineman, has according to the Boston Globe been secretly helped the DEA nab a major illegal prescription drug supplier. Kaczur was arrested last April for illegal possession of oxy and t...
Packers Running Back Puts Burglar On IR
Confronted with a gang of burglars in his home, Green Bay Packers' running back Noah Herron did the obvious thing: He unscrewed a bedpost and knocked one of the them the hell out, and chased the others off the premises. That's exactly what I would have done, if you substitute "unscrewed a bedpost" ...
The Joy And Despair Of Two New York Pitching Debuts
So as we check in this morning on the great city and state of New York, we see much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the daring Joba-Chamberlain-as-a-starter experiment (he flew too close to the sun on mashed potato wings), and great rejoicing over the return of Pedro Martinez. Joba lasted just 2...
Obama, McCain Finally Ready To Duke It Out Over Sports Metaphors
For perspective of just how long this Democratic primary process has gone one, the day Sen. Barack Obama announced his candidacy for President in Springfield, Illinois (just 80 miles from Mattoon!), the Indianapolis Colts had just won the Super Bowl and all the buzz was whether or not Barry Bonds wo...
University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...
HS Basketball Coach Corrupts Students With Game They'll Be Playing In Two Years
An assistant basketball coach at a high school in Ohio is under investigation by authorities for hosting a party in December in which minors were present whilst people were playing beer pong. Or Beirut. I don't where the regional line of demarcation is on the use of that term. Still, how else are y...
Never Again Will I Trifle With Nightmare Shark
It looks like we're back in commission (I think, I hope) after a nice 20-hour ravaging by, uh, well, I'm not quite sure. Nibbles might have been frightened off by the shark photo. Look, it's involved, confusing stuff. They only pay me to post dick jokes and monkey pictures....
From Cheerleader To Puck Bunny
NHL.com wises up, hires former Texans cheerleader to...something something cheerleader. [Japers' Rink]...
Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! (Yes. Boston Is Going To The NBA Finals.)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Red Auerbach, Early Anti-Flopping Advocate
Big kudos to Bullets Forever for discovering this suddenly topical clip of Red Auerbach extolling the evils of flopping. You tell 'em, Red....
Lakers Worship Shiny Ball, Advance To Finals
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Ice Hockey At Wrigley Field: The End Times Are Here
If you think it would be fun to see Chicago fans reach onto the field of play and try to interfere with a puck instead of a baseball for a change, then you're in luck. The NHL's second Outdoor Winter Classic game will pit the Chicago Blackhawks against the Detroit Red Wings at Wrigley Field, accordi...
The Altoona Curve Salutes All Quitters (And You Know Who You Are)
It's Minor Enterprise, where we chronicle the glory and spectacle of minor league baseball promotions, pausing only to hail the beer vendor every half inning or so....
Look, Clips From The New Tecmo Bowl Game
We usually ignore press releases around these parts, but this morning we got a good one: The new version of Tecmo Bowl — for the Nintendo DS — is coming out this September, and they sent us a couple of clips from the game....
Michael Jackson's Big Night Out
Each time Michael Jackson pops up in public, I always think, hey, that guy who seemed to be the most captivating entertainer on the planet is still somewhere hidden behind that Play-Doh face. Probably not, but, come on, am I the only one who, as a 10-year-old, once thought my life would change for ...
Ray Allen Reunites With Jump Shot, Celtics Win
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who says you should never let friends drink and drive. Or go home with an ugly chick. Unless he has a really great personality. When he's not giving bad advice, he can be found doing the thing at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
The Foul That Wasn't (But It Really Was)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait to see how David Stern fixes tonight's Pistons-Celtics game in favor of Boston. When he's not coming up with new NBA Finals conspiracy theories, he can be found humming a jaunty tune at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
McDyess Listens To Voices In Head, Kills Celtics
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was in no way, shape or form ready for a playoff explosion from McDyess. But hey, nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition, right? When he's not puzzling until his puzzler is sore, he can be found eating a burrito as big as his head at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...