ac Page 1189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marion Barber Unaware Of Marion Barber Rule
Keeping with the obliviousness-to-rules motif — hey, it makes us feel better about ourselves — Dallas Cowboys running back Marion Barber III, esq. has made a name for himself by stiff arming the defenders in the face. Apparently that's always been a rule. But now the league will begin to clamp down ...
Pistons Lose Despite Home Court, Insane Fans
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's hoping that Spring will eventually come to Chicago. Not that 40-degree weather isn't fun...in, like, December. When he's not hating the hell out of the Midwestern weather, he can be found doing a sunshine dance at Basketbawful. Enjoy! There's no place...
Sonics Ownership Seems To Be Unable To Delete Old E-Mails
Any mail client has it. Trash can. Deleted items. They all call it something different, but my God, it's right there. A half-terrabyte of data doesn't mean you save every freakin' Twitter message that comes your way. The Seattle Supersonics management might have gotten away with merely being hated i...
Spurs-Lakers: First Blood, Part II
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to get a very bad feeling about these playoffs. A very bad feeling. When he's having nightmares about another Lakers championship, he can be found crafting Kobe Bryant voodoo dolls at Basketbawful. Enjoy! When you're pushed, killin's as easy...
Home Is Where The Heartache Is
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who very highly suggests seeing the new Indiana Jones movie. When he's not laughing at how Gregg Popovich has Tim Duncan by the balls, he can be found marvelling at the crotch-grabbing antics of the Spurs-Lakers series at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....
Beware The Handrails Of Death
It appears there is no more a dangerous threat at the ballpark than staircases or escalators. If 2001 was famously called the "Summer Of The Shark," after numerous Floridians smelling like chum or dressed in seal costumes were chomped, this 2008's TV news fear bait might be "Spring Of The Handrail."...
San Antonio Duncan And The Fourth Quarter Of Doom
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was very moved by Ray Allen's love letter to his missing jump shot. Let's hope those two crazy kids can make it work. When he's not making Fruity Pebbles a part of his well-balanced and nutritious breakfast, he can be found tormenting the Trix rabbit at ...
Obama's High School First In SI Survey. No Mention Of Ridgemont High
Barack Obama's high school, Punahou of Hawaii, was recently chosen as the school with the top athletic program in the nation by Sports Illustrated. This angered Hillary Clinton, who attended Maine East High in Parkridge, Ill., and John McCain, who was educated through oral tradition and cave drawin...
Celtics Use Rhythm Method, Belichick Craftiness To Beat Pistons
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's still wondering why the Celtics were all up in LeBron's junk last series. When he's not focusing on the sordid past, he can be found mocking the laughable present at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Back To The Future! (For The Spurs)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who feels like he's watched Spurs-Lakers in the playoffs about a jillion times over the years. Or maybe it's just been Spurs-Whoever. When he's not misremembering his playoff history, he can be found mourning the death of the New Orleans dream at Basketbawfu...
About Last Night
What you missed while observing just another typical day in Arkansas ... • NBA: Tears on Bourbon Street as Spurs dump Hornets, 91-82, in Game 7, to earn date with Lakers. • NHL: Red Wings beat Stars 4-1 to advance to finals. Um, hey ... where's the riot? • MLB: Albert Pujols clouts two homers, puts ...
When Shopping For Fancy Soaps And Duvet Covers, Will Allen Takes No Chances
A confounding incident involving the Miami Dolphins' Will Allen at a Miami Bed, Bath and Beyond parking lot has the veteran cornerback being questioned by local police. There are conflicting stories and it's not entirely clear what the beef was about, but there is some speculation:...
I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...
Big Brown Wins Preakness, Thinks, "Boy, I Am Hungry"
Look. This is Big Brown. This is a horse. We suppose Big Brown is a good-looking, as far as horses go, though we're not sure, from this angle, if we could possibly tell the difference between Big Brown and any other horse on the planet that wasn't, you know, a zebra....
The Truth Really <em>Does</em> Hurt. Just Ask LeBron and The Cavaliers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who watched some legendary basketball yesterday. When he's not being really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and LeBron James, he can be found being...really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and Lebron James at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
She Does Not Suck
Candace Parker's WNBA debut went about as well as anyone could have hoped. The Tennessee product led her Los Angeles Sparks to a 99-94 win over the Phoenix Mercury, the league's defending champions. Parker scored 34 points, including some big baskets down the stretch, while amassing 12 rebounds and ...
Tim Donaghy Stayed Busy
Details of Tim Donaghy's exploits as a crooked NBA referee are beginning to emerge from the governments investigation, and the NBA must be thrilled. The New York Daily News is reporting that Donaghy influenced upwards of 100 games during his career....
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:30 — NHL: Dallas Stars vs. Detroit Red Wings, Game 5. [NBC] • 2:00 — LPGA: Sybase Classick, Third Round. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Horses: Preakness Special from Pimlico Race Course. [ESPN] • 3:00 — PGA: AT&T Classic, Third Round at TPC Sugarloaf. [CBS] • 3:30 — ABC: LA Sparks vs. Phoenix Mercury. [ABC] ...
Cavs Win, Fans Of Basketball Lose
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who felt like he got punched in the nuts twice last night. When he's not sort of hating himself for loving the wrong teams, he can be found weeping softly at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...