ac Page 1195 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome To The Moe Howard 500
Our next story comes from Texas, land of lizards and slapstick, where a NASCAR rivalry boiled over into, well, pretty much what you might expect. Following the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday, an "unidentified crewman for Scott Riggs' team" knocked over driver Kevin Harvick, his wife...
Paul Tracy Can't Drive
When you're drunk and blessed with a natural immaturity, there are few things in life that seem like a better idea than taking a golf cart out for a joyride. Champ Car racer Paul Tracy agrees. At least, he did about a week ago, before he his golf cart flipped and landed on his drunk ass, breaking ...
Some Horses Like Wearing Silk More Than Others
Today's Breeders Cup has me in the mood to punch talk about horses and the magnificent sport of horse racing, so here's something you might not have known: War Emblem, 2002 Kentucky Derby and Preakness champion, is gay....
It's Really Just Cruel To Not Allow Rasheed To Bitch And Moan
Much has been written about the new "zero tolerance" rule in the NBA, which allows referees to slap a technical on anybody who so much as sneezes in their general direction. Already, three players have been ejected because of the new rules, including Mike Bibby, Carmelo Anthony and, yes, Rasheed Wal...
Welcome, At Last, To Ron Artest's World
You might have missed it with all the business of watching parades of sexy nurses/witches/superheroes/hockey players pass by, but on Halloween, the new album from Ron Artest "dropped," as they say. It's called "My World," and it is apparently not inspired by the weird song Axl Rose put on the end of...
Is Your Relationship With Barbaro All That It Can Be?
Even though he has faced many obstacles recently — including a stinging defeat in our Hall of Fame balloting of a couple of months ago — Barbaro has somehow always found the will to survive. And now the racehorse is on the verge of the most dramatic triumph of all, as doctors announced on Wednesda...
It's Morning In America!
So, hey, good morning, everybody. What'd we miss?...
We're Freaking McNuts, Man, And We McLove It
You know ... it's possible that Eagles fans are becoming rather upset with their team's play of late....
Red Auerbach Passes Away
I'm too young and to fully appreciate the aura of Red Auerbach, but I do know that anyone willing to fire up a cigar on the bench before the game was over is a bad-ass. Red also coached the Boston Celtics to nine NBA championships, eight of them in a row... which also doesn't hurt his image as a b...
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Get Away From Me, Marathoners!
This gentleman is Paul Kapellas, and he lives in Chicago....
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
The Last Time We're Gonna Talk About This Game
All right, we're gonna talk about this one more time, and then if you bring it up again, we're totally not giving you a cookie....
"The Bears Are Who We THOUGHT They Were!"
We're gonna talk a bit more about last night's Buzzsaw implosion a little later, but we really felt we had to start the day with coach Dennis Green — who is pretty obviously going to be fired before this season ends — putting forth one of the true great postgame press conference explosions. We still...
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Sacramento Kings
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Pacific Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: NOOCH!
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
We Can't Imagine The Minnesota Candidates In 20 Years
We don't know much about politics over here, but one thing we do know: We want our Secretarys of State to have banged some Green Bay Packers....
NFL Week Five, Update #1
• The Tennessee Titans, eighteen-and-a-half point underdogs, could be in the process of pulling off the upset of the freakin' decade. They lead the Colts 10-0 at the half, behind a beautiful Vince Young touchdown run and a secondary that's held Peyton Manning to 56 yards, and Marvin Harrison without...